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Lets All Get Depressed Together

Updated on April 27, 2011

Lets All Get Depressed Together

Given that my Kitten Cannon trilogy has not been well received, let's take a different tack.

Today we shall descend into deep depression by considering smotheringly serious topics which none of us can control. Everybody stay together, please. Keep your hands and feet inside the depression trolley. Don't exit your seat until we come to a complete stop.

Asian Carp are Coming

Disgustingly depressing fish are invading our waterways. They somehow got into the United States because they were good at cleaning small bodies of water. They gobbled up overgrown shorelines in ponds, basins, lagoons, and water features. Eventually they escaped into waterways. They currently make a meal of anything that fits into their mouth throughout the eastern and northern US. Game and sport fishing industries are threatened. Entire economies face decimation because the fish eat everything in sight and crowd out other species.

Oil is Spilling into the Oceans

An oil rig exploded in the Gulf of Mexico. Eleven people were killed. Oil gushed, unchecked, for almost 3 months. Reputable scientists debated over the precise volume of the spill. Federal authorities threatened legal action against a publicly held company. President Obama strong-armed British Petroleum into setting aside 20 billion dollars for clean up and make-good funds. Tourist economies along the Gulf Coast are threatened. Commercial fishing in the Gulf Coast waters has been severely limited by the federal government.

The Pacific Ocean is Ruined

A garbage dump twice the size of Texas has accumulated in the Pacific Ocean. Unimaginable volumes of plastic refuse are carried by natural currents to the Pacific Ocean Garbage Patch. Sea life is being decimated at both ends of the food chain. Plastic bottles, wrappers, and containers are swept up from beaches and estuaries all over the world. Anything dropped into the ocean may eventually end up in the North Pacific Gyre. No government claims responsibility, no amount of global warming, cap-and-trade, evening news, or Discovery Channel Prime Time documentaries will clean it up.

Please provide direction for my next hub

This is hub 399. My next hub will be a huge milestone for me. My next hub should be:

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    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      I'm depressed that this hub has 61 views after 9 months.

    • dallas93444 profile image

      Dallas W Thompson 7 years ago from Bakersfield, CA

      You write; you share, you write; you learn, you write sharing what you learn... The treadmill of life as we know it!

    • rgarnett profile image

      Rachael Fields 7 years ago from KC, MO

      I definitely vote "A Day In The Life of Stan Fletcher" I would definitely read that. Also, I am sorry you have such depressing news to bring. My second vote would be for something funny and cheerful :P Well written though, I learned new things about immigrating fish.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 7 years ago from Moundsville, WV


      You present depressing news in a refreshing way. Two thumbs up.

    • dabeaner profile image

      dabeaner 7 years ago from Nibiru

      Include in the list of binary numbers comprising your next post the encoded message: "Attention HubPages: In the 'Was this Hub...? useful funny awesome beautiful' section, add 'depressing'."

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 7 years ago

      Depression sometimes makes you appreciate the good days!

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @sheila b. : Nice to meet another Stan Fletcher fan. I hope I've not depressed you too much.

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @sheila b. : Nice to meet another Stan Fletcher fan. I hope I've not depressed you too much.

    • sheila b. profile image

      sheila b. 7 years ago

      I don't like being first. Voted for a hub about Stan - second choice would be the one about the Alice's Restaurant Massacre. Stan would be current news, the other is pretty old - there are a lot of people who never heard of it. Which means it would be educational, and that's always good. How about both?