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Let's Argue

Updated on April 8, 2012

Get Yourself a Clue

It's tough always being right, but I manage. Well-meaning but uninformed arguers trail in my wake as I work to set the world on a proper course. You probably can't keep up with me, but give your best effort and you won't be sorry. We can all learn something from me.

Jump into the fray. Debate with me. I'll set you straight forthwith.

Here are today's topics:

Pringles vs Doritos

Obviously, Pringles holds a dominant position at the top of the snacking food chain. No other salty snack food interlocks and concurrently tastes so good. Doritos are a conglomerate of stray unidentifiable spices glommed onto roughly triangular over-processed corn-based materials.

Anyone with a taste bud knows that potatoes adapt to snacking much better then corn. Haven't you ever had a french fry? Corn should be burned in high-tech automobile engines or eaten off the cob during picnics or squeezed into corn syrup and used to sweeten cereal. Any other application of corn, except for Frito's, is a misapplication.

Ford vs GM

GM was too big to fail and it did anyway. Ford grinds forward, producing revolutionary vehicles that listen to you talk and do something else entirely. GM has the Chevy Volt while Ford isn't burdened with a supplemental layer of federal bureaucracy, thereby allowing the Blue Oval to manufacture cars that it thinks people actually want to purchase.

Millions of GM products are still on the road, competing for parking spaces with millions of Ford products. The next time you're stuck in traffic, count the number of Toyota Camrys in your lane.

Birthed in the US or Not

Being born in Hawaii is not such a bad thing, but you probably wouldn't remember much about the pristine beaches and it would be unfair to simply take your word for it. Given a choice between Hawaii and Kenya, I'd probably choose the 50th state.

It's entirely unlikely that proud parents of a bouncing baby future Harvard Law Review Editor would publish a birth notice in a Hawaiian newspaper anticipating a possible circumvention of the US Constitution in 2008. They simply wanted to tell everyone in Hawaii that they had a baby.

I'm glad that's settled.

Limbaugh vs Maher

One's been arrested on drug charges and the other starred in such blockbusters as Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death. One donated publicly to BHO's super PAC and the other quietly joined the 1732 Society at Mt. Vernon to preserve the historic legacy of George Washington's estate. Both refer to specific women in derogatory terms, but only one has apologized after sponsors withdrew financial support.

One has a raving following of uninformed sycophants and the other appears daily on thousands of radio stations, garnering a huge adoring audience and more than a few folks who listen simply to find something to complain about. Both would make us all happy and sad if they went off the air

The final decision is trivial and simple: conservative thought stands up to reason and logic. It embraces personal freedom, including the freedom to fail. Progressive thought is predicated on feeling good and ceding control to government. Or maybe it's the other way 'round.

Java vs C#

Experienced software developers understand this controversy. Java runs on billions of devices from telephones to pacemakers to desktop computers. Maybe not pacemakers, but it's kind of a running joke. Java is kind-of open source, except when Oracle says it's not.

C# is controlled by Microsoft and has conditional compilation. Java developer tools are generally free and user-supported. C# pretty much obligates Visual Studio but it works pretty well with the .Net Framework and will integrate with Visual Basic code as well.

Stick with the language you like. Don't start a border was with the next cubicle. You can make a living with Java or with C#, or both. We can all get along.

Coke vs Pepsi

They both taste like malted battery acid. Both contain phosphoric acid.

Additional uses for phosphoric acid include rust removal, temporary dental cement, soldering flux, and etching electronic circuit boards. Yum.

Anthromorphic Global Warming vs Sanity

Well-intended control freaks and fear mongers and federally funded scientists and Al Gore insist that burning your leaves makes polar bears cry, if there are any left. "Hop into your electric car, never mind where the electricity came from", they suggest, as they shoot into the stratosphere swathed in their private jets.

Are we puny humans melting harmless icebergs that never hurt anyone, except the Titanic? No, but if it makes you feel better to unplug your hair dryer and plug in your car, go for it. Environmentalism is a religion: Mother Earth will punish you unless you take better care of her. Oceans will rise and the growing season in Canada will start in early July instead rather than late July. If self-sacrifice in the name of this little blue marble we call home does indeed make you happy, knock yourself out.

College Football - Playoffs vs. BCS

A college football playoff system at the Division 1 level could be accomplished with minimal disruption of the bowl games that have become long-standing traditions from mid-December through early January. There's money to be made and it will indeed be made. Not a dime will be left unskimmed by major colleges with massive fan bases and never-ending supplies of student athletes.

It will happen. When the tipping point is reached, or Congress intervenes, and really smart accountants at the NCAA observe that profit margins will fatten by implementing a playoff system, no more run-on sentences will need to be written about this blazing controversy.


In Conclusion

According to Wikipedia, controversy is a state of prolonged public dispute or debate, usually concerning a matter of opinion.They are hardly ever wrong about this type of thing.

Join me in my controversy. Be careful to learn something.

In the words of Dave Mason: "There ain't no good guys, there ain't no bad guys. There's only you and me, and we just disagree. Ooo - ooo - ooohoo oh - oh - o-whoa "


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    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 6 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Nicomp you are always such a wealth of information! And funny at the same time.


    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      !@Minnetonka Twin: You're welcome here.

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 6 years ago from Minnesota

      You caught me-I don't like controversy. LOL

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @Minnetonka Twin: Thank you for your kind words. Now, argue with me.

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 6 years ago from Minnesota

      Ha-this was fun to read and I loved that last line that included the famous words of the song, "their aint no good guys their aint no bad guys-there's only you and me and we just disagree." I also got a kick out of your explanation of Coke vs Pepsi.

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @breakfastpop: We have common ground.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 6 years ago

      Fron now on, I will defer to you in all matters from the trivial to the vital. Up and funny.

    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @Mtbailz: I can't dispute your argument.

    • profile image

      Mtbailz 6 years ago

      Very enjoyable! Your title convinced me to click immediately. Thanks for the read.