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Libertarian Guide to the Unsocial Media Lizard Trolls

Updated on August 8, 2017
Garry Reed profile image

Garry Reed combined a professional technical writing career and a passion for all things libertarian to become The Libertarian Opinionizer.

Lizard Trolls run the Internet

Extraterrestrial Lizard Trolls run the Online World from atop their New World Order Social Media Pyramid
Extraterrestrial Lizard Trolls run the Online World from atop their New World Order Social Media Pyramid | Source

A little over a year ago Students For Liberty posted Anne Butcher’s “The Unofficial Guide to Libertarian Facebook Debates” for interacting with non-libertarians on Facebook. Her recommendations included picking your fights carefully, steering clear of the closed-minded, avoiding insulting anyone, being positive and never expecting you’ll ever change anyone’s mind about anything.

She could have said “Just laugh at the loonies and move on or don’t get on at all!” If that wasn’t true in 2015 when Butcher wrote her guidelines it’s certainly true now that Facebook, and virtually every other discussion site on social media, has become the sole domain of the Internet Troll.

Here’s what libertarians and other civilized humans routinely encounter on Facebook Groups and almost everywhere else when they venture into the online world of social media:

Formal Confabulation Forum

Description: Welcome to FCF! This group is a proud multicultural family of many political and non-partisan affiliations and beliefs where people of tolerance, diversity and inclusion can graciously, politely and respectfully exchange their views on the latest philosophical, political, social and cultural trends of the day in an urbane and civilized environment! Enjoy one and all!

LiberTerryanne: I’ll be voting for Gary Johnson and the Libertarian Party this year.

Dunn Dornobble: OMG!!! Those Liberscaryans are just brainless puppets of the Anarcho-Capitalists who want to rule the world. What a suckwad!

Liz Peeples: Hahaha! Libertarians cant rule the world cuz everyone nos the New World Order alien lizard people rule the world. You both are dorktards!!! I am winning!!

Ancient AstroNewt?

Ancient AstroNewt from Serpentaria, sixth cold-blooded planet of the Reptillian Constellation
Ancient AstroNewt from Serpentaria, sixth cold-blooded planet of the Reptillian Constellation | Source

Daphy Dildeau: Anarcho-capitalist is an oxymoron because anarcho means anarchy and that means no rulers and capitalists are rulers! That would mean they are “non-ruler rulers!” Thats a oxy moron you peniswart moron!

Liz Peeples: Lickbags!!! Lizard People rule! Wake up world!!!!!!

Ham Shallo: douchewipes!!!!! Libertarian socialists are far more better than than those AnCaps anyway you belchclowns!

Dullon Dumbar: U R a scrotumcase!! Libertarian socialist is a oxymoron. Libertarians are individualists and socialists are groupers who all have to do stuff in one big group with everybody else. So how can you have a “group individual?” Oxymoron you analwhacker????? You are wrong and I OWN YOU SLUTSACK!!!!!!!!!!

Liz Peeples: Barfsticks!!! Reptilian shape-shifting Alien lizard people are on top of the Pyramid of Power an we are all there slaves!!!!!!

Ham Shallo: U R all pervholes!!!!

LiberTerryanne: Let’s get our definitions straightened out folks. “Libertarian” means “anarchy” to Europeans but “non-aggression principle” to Americans. “Capitalism” means “exploitation of workers” to European Marxists but it means Frederic Bastiat style “free markets” to Americans. It’s all good if it’s voluntary with no coercion, intimidation or fraud. So “libertarian socialism” means “non-government socialism” and “anarcho-capitalism” means “non-statist laissez-faire free markets.” And the world is ruled by psychopathic politicians, corporatists and banksters who want wealth, power and ego gratification, not “alien lizard people.” Now maybe we can have a meaningful discussion.

Millie Murk: Hahahahahaha!!! There is no such thing as free market stinkwomb! Free means what you can get by not paying anything for it and a market is where you go to get stuff you have to pay for. I know caus I been to lots of markets and I always have to pay!!! So free market means don’t pay for stuff you gotta pay for. How stupid is that snotrag??? Free market is oxymoron!!

Mort Mundane: What a bunch of snotballs!!! There is no such thing as voluntary becaus everyone is a product of his and hers own environment and class order and social position and psychological nature and economic situation and gene pool and so they cannot ever make a free or voluntary choice!!!! Everybody knows that you donkeywankers!!!

Liz Peeples: Wrong jorkheads! The reason theres no such thing as voluntary is becase the New World Order Pyramid of Power is ruled by the Alien Extraterrestrial Outer Space Lizard People who control your minds you bunch of buttsmackers!!!!

Dunn Dornobble: ur all humpbots!!!! Alien lizard people is a oxymoron because lizards come from Mexico not from outer space and Donald Trump will build a wall to keep alien lizard people OUTOUTOUT!!!

Daphy Dildeau: All of you are all wrong! Oxy is a combining form meaning “sharp” and a moron is a dullard so oxymoron means “sharp dull.” So oxymoron is an oxymoron!!!!!! Non of you spermbats is sharp your all DULL!!!!

LiberTerryanne: FCF admins, please unfriend me forever!

Alien Lizard Trolls rule Unsocial Media

So that's where Internet Trolls come from --  they're minions of the Alien Lizard People!!!
So that's where Internet Trolls come from -- they're minions of the Alien Lizard People!!! | Source

Conclusion

The root of all communication evils begins when people fail to define their terms and dogmatically cling to the first or only definition of words that they ever learned. For them there is no room for context, perspective or circumstance. If they grew up saying po-TAY-to they will inevitably ridicule anyone who says po-TAH-to and call them wrong at least and stupid at worst. This seems to be especially true for those who are smart enough to operate a computer keyboard or other digital texting device but are too intellectually stunted to understand, or care, and apply the old catchphrase “different strokes for different folks.”

And of course without understanding, or caring, that in many cases there are multiple meanings and usages for the same word it’s impossible to understand the different concepts inherent in each of those meanings and usages. This is why “oxymoron” has proliferated on social media; it’s shorthand for saying “You’re not using that word the way I use that word so you’re stupid and wrong and I’m right and I win.”

Bottom line, however, is the Internet Troll itself, defined as a person (?) who sows discord on the Internet purely for its own amusement and ego gratification. Sort of like the psychiatrically defined psychopathic personality disorder mentioned earlier, but on a much tinier scale. To the troll nothing matters beyond its own ego.

Best guide for all thoughtful people on social media is (A) stay off of social media or (B) laugh at the psycho-trolls and move along; nothing to see here.

David Icke interview

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      Godzilla_govt 14 months ago

      It really shouldn't surprise you that hackers and policy hecklers troll policy boards. The point of trolling isn't to be rational or fair. It's to test the veracity of any claim a Libertarian has to tolerances in hearing expressions of ideals of anyone who is not them. Now you may have passed a test. Just understand no one passes muster of any kind of anarchist: leftist, centrist or exostatist. They are all impossible bullshit artists.

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      Robert 14 months ago

      You forgot to mention a larger area of concern which is labeling someone a troll just because they share resources that counter a point in subject up for discussion. I have seen many brutal attacks in comments when someone has just shared links to original videos and transcripts and did not even give their opinion yet. It is a new twist on nobody likes a critic. A true troll never ever brings anything to a discussion or a cause ,they just declare over and over things void of resources because it is a fact that if something is repeated enough people will start believing it.

      Another new form of trolling is political trolling which has become such a problem that facebook is taking steps to remove many from their news feed. Most of these memes have shocking headlines but if clicked on there is nothing resembling headline or absolutely no source. These sites make money from likes and sharing and if someone actually goes there it increases traffic increasing there ad rate. Everyone has been a victim of this type of trolling ,it dominates their feeds making it almost impossible to find the things that really matters among friends and family which is why I joined social media to start with. This type of trolling is destroying families because you can not even disagree with it without it being considered an attack on the person who shared it. This form of trolling is by far the most dangerous because it causes division.

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      Bob 14 months ago

      Well at least no one said that a Libertarian voted is wasted.