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Medical Transport Driver Part 5 "Women Drivers!"

Updated on April 6, 2012
Really ladies?
Really ladies?

Women and accountability issues

I had been warned about women drivers as a youth but I had no idea what those warnings truly meant. I'd thought those were chauvinistic words an enlightened individual like myself should ignore. I learned very quickly those warnings were well founded. After fifteen years of driving nine hours a day in the busiest county in South Jersey I found out firsthand who the true culprits on our highways and byways really are.

In my last entry, Medical Transport Driver Part 4, I detailed my first and worst accident with my employer. That however was not my last. There were actually twelve more accidents during the long years after that and while most of them were nothing more than a bump and a see ya later, the actions and words of those who struck me were astounding. Yes, struck me. Out of the thirteen accidents only five did any damage to the vehicle I was in. Only one did any lasting damage to me. Out of all of these incidents only one accident was judged my fault. That's right, one.

The acident which was judged my fault was unfairly judged but I accepted what was decided since as a non-wealthy citizen I had no defense against the stupidity and bias of the court and its officials. Don't get me started. I was in a bumper to bumper traffic situation. The sports car three cars up took off all of a sudden, engine roaring. The two cars in front of me took off after him. I hesitated a second and then followed suit. The lady in front of me was driving a clutch, suddenly her car slowed to a near standstill but her brake lights never came on. Her foot slipped off the clutch. Too late I slammed my brakes and tried to swerve around her. As a result I crashed into her back corner. The front of the minivan I was driving crumpled like a beer can while her little car had almost no damage. After dealing with the police I straightened her tailpipe for her so she could be on her way. I never raised my voice, made accusations or bothered to plead my case to the officer who instantly decided the accident was my fault, although there were no real witnesses.

Alright, so I took that one on the chin and accepted the blame.

Now I will give a quick synopsis of the eight accidents in which women crashed into me.

I was sitting at a red light. First in line awaiting the green I saw the tiny car behind me creeping up inch by inch and she was making me a bit nervous. I crept forward a bit to give her and me a bit more room. What do you think happened then? Yep, she gunned it and slammed into my tail, hard! I felt the impact through my bones. Worse, not only did she hit me, she hadn't stopped! She was literally pushing me into cross traffic. A car was making a left from the road to our right and as they crossed in front of me I was nearly shoved right into them. Only by standing in my seat and placing all of my weight onto the brakes was I able to avoid hitting them. Know what I got in return? The guy leaned out of his window and called me a choice name!

Now I was more than angry. Finally she had stopped pushing me forward and she backed off a little. The van fell back down with a heavy bounce. Her car was so small it had crept right under my bumper! I got out of the car with both my hands held out wide in incredulity. I was however speechless from the shock. The impact had truly been jarring!

The woman leaned out of her car. In the passenger seat was her daughter, eating a ice cream pop, of approximately ten or eleven years of age. The woman sneered, "What the hell were you doing? Why the hell wouldn't you go?" She asked gratingly, and then continued ranting.

At first I did not reply. I was in shock. First she slammed into me and now she was cursing at me! Truth is she used even more colorful language than this but I don't want to stain hubpages with such venom. I said, "Lady, are you saying its my fault that you just hit me at a red light? Its a RED LIGHT!" I shouted back.

Instantly her tone changed. "Oh, are you alright?"

Oh, after she cursed me three ways to sunday, am I alright? "I'm fine, is everyone here alright?" I asked while pointedly looking toward her daughter. I was ignoring the steam rising from her hood. There was a heap of traffic built up behind us now and they were forced to wait another red light as we argued, well, she argued. I defended myself. Horns were beginning to blare.

I decided karma would have its way with this bitch. Normally I am the first guy to help a lady in trouble, but not this day. She said, "There's no damage or anything!"

I said, "Fine, no damage, everyone is fine..." I turned around and went back into the van and floored it to beat the light as it turned amber. Behind me I could see the smoke pluming from her front end. Horns were blaring as the other drivers were trying to get around her. No damage, she said. Ha! I raised my middle finger to the world and laughed as karma had its say.

Another occasion had me waiting behind a large cadillac as it waited to make a left hand turn. Behind me a small car was roaring up and not slowing. Too late I heard their brakes trying to stop its momentum. I heard the grating of steel against steel as she tried to stop the hurtling missile with no actual brake shoes. I told my two passengers to be prepared the instant before we were struck.

Thankfully on that day I had been driving a large LTD and her tiny car had no effect on my passengers or I. I got out and her boyfriend closed his door. He had been about to get out but decided against it upon seeing me. I wonder why? She got out and said, "Why didn't you move?"

Why didn't I move? Really? No need to go on. I think you get the idea. This happened another six times. All accidents that were not reported because there was no damage and no injuries. Each and every time the woman driving refused to be accountable for her actions. There was always some lame excuse or as in the first case I gave you just simple arrogance.

Now, as for the other four accidents they were bad enough to ruin the rented vehicles I was driving. Each time I had been struck by a male driver. Every time but one they stepped forward and admitted they were to blame. The one who did not was a teenager. He had another four boys in the car with him. I was glad to have had two passengers on board at the time and they were witness enough to the accident to prove I was not at fault.

What is my point? Ladies, what in the hell are you thinking? Or are you thinking at all? Accountability was one of the first lessons taught to me by my parents. My mother assured me it was the best thing to do. I was not really convinced though until my father explained it his way. He said, "Son, if you do something wrong and it was an accident or you just made a bad decision the best thing you can do is stand up and admit you were wrong. A man, a real man, stands up and takes what;s coming to him. If you know its you're fault, don't be a coward, stand up and be accountable!"

Fact is my sister must not have been paying attention to that lesson, or my father had never deigned to teach it to her. I cannot truly say, but she was always opposite of me in the moral department. Never accountable and always irresponsible, it is amazing that we were raised by the same parents.

Now, beyond all the accidents my years driving gave me a clear vantage point from which to observe. While women seem to be less skilled drivers, men seem to be the most reckless. This makes sense, how many women dream of becoming race car drivers? Women seem to have a clear deficit in their reaction time and their ability to deal with stress on the road. They also tend to drive distracted, talk on the phone, texting, make up and the like more often than men but I will say this. Too many times I have seen men driving tractor trailers while holding a phone to their ear. Not cool, dude, not cool! That thing is potentially a weapon of mass destruction and you should be paying attention at all times. You never know when a woman driver is going to show up and ruin your day.

The number of close calls I had numbered in the dozens. No joke. I did a lot of driving. The most alarming close call though will highlight the whole woman driver problem in a nutshell.

I was in the middle lane of the three lane highway going 55 in a 60MPH speed limit. Usually I would be going 65 but it was raining pretty hard. The roads were slippery and I knew better. I was a professional. Realizing there were others around me who wanted to go faster I moved to the right lane, or slow lane. The SUV on my left now began to pass me. The red car to the SUV's left began to pass them. I judged that car's speed to be around 70mph. Too fast to be sure. I literally said to my passengers, a mother and daughter, "Secure yourselves, there is going to be an accident near us." I said it calmly, not wanting anyone to get overexcited.

I saw the back of the red car fish tail just then. The driver nearly veered into the SUV behind them on their right. Instead the driver slammed the wheel back to the left and the car slammed against the concret dividers. SMASH! It veered back out again only to smash back against the wall. It happened so fast there was no time to do anything other than hold onto the wheel with both hands and wait for clearance. I had, after all, become an expert in avoiding obstacles. Suddenly the red car veered away from the dividers and went horizontal in front of the SUV which then completely T-boned it. SLAM! The two cars locked together while I slowed my vehicle gradually. The entire time I had been doing so, avoiding fish tailing and adding to the coming pile up. They spun as one large obstacle like a top heavy hammer floating slowly through space. Right in front of me they spun and I slowed to 25mph as they came about and ended up slamming into the divider on my right where the shoulder of the road awaited. CRASH!

This one fleeting moment has stuck in my mind from that incident nearly five years ago. The red car had come about facing the completely wrong direction and I was window to window with the driver. It was an attractive young woman, with one hand on the phone in her ear and the other held up in alarm. She looked back at me with the most innocuous glare! I should have known. She had been going 70MPH in the pouring rain while steering with one hand and taking a curve in the highway. She lost control of the vehicle simply because she had given up trying and let go of the wheel!

After that I will never defend women drivers again. How could I? They are indefensible although they will never stand up and admit they are wrong. I wonder who she blamed for that accident? Now, I should mention that my girlfriend and I argued about my opinion a lot. Too much, in fact. Until one day she began to experience the same sort of things as I. One day she yelled at a woman, "You dumb bitch, you're the reason my boyfriend wont shut the hell up! Learn how to drive!" And the woman refused to be accountable.

Oh well, this is just another tale of a medical transport driver in New Jersey. Do with it what you will.

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