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Men and Women Are Created Equal but Different

Updated on December 29, 2016

Men and women are created equal, but this doesn’t mean that they are the same, and when we say “same”, it’s about the way we communicate, about our etiquette, our lifestyle, and our emotions. Of course these two genders are different, and Deborah Tannen coined the term 'Genderlect' to describe the way that the conversation of men and women are not right and wrong, superior and inferior - they are just different.

Book “Everything Men Know about Women.”

Behind the success of a man is a woman

In 1995, Dr. Alan Francis distills years of research and thousands of interviews to reveal the most comprehensive understanding of men's knowledge and understanding of the opposite sex in a book entitled “Everything Men Know about Women.” The Daily News described this book as the one that “Fully reveals the shocking truth!” In its 25th edition, the paperback cover of the book has the “worldwide best-seller book” logo and at the back, it says “Fiercely frank and insightfully funny, Dr. Francis literally spells out everything men know on topics ranging from making friends with women to satisfying women in bed. To quote directly from famed Dr. Francis, men already know, about women and this book will teach them.” But to everyone’s surprise, that book contains 100 empty pages. That's right! Between the pages of this book, readers will find 100 empty pages, “because in reality, what do men really know about women?”

Book “The Conversation: How Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships.”

What she wants

Relationships between men and women are not impossible or necessarily difficult. Problems simply arise when we expect or assume the opposite sex should think, feel or act the way we do. It’s not that men and women live in completely different realities. Rather, our lack of knowledge and mutual experience gives rise to our difficulties. In social networking sites, the difference between girls and boys are becoming more and more popular as it shows the very demanding side of girls in in non-verbal and verbal communication. It says:

1. When a girl says she's ok, it doesn't necessarily mean she is, and it usually means she just doesn't want to talk about it. [Put your arm around her and tilt your head on her shoulder, show that you love her.]

2. "I'm just tired" is a lie. She's not just tired. Once again, she just doesn't want to talk about it. [Give her a peck on the cheek or the lips. We like surprise kisses.]

3. When a girl says you're stupid, don't be offended. She just needs to get her anger out. [Ask her what you did to make her this angry and listen. Then apologize.]

4. A girl hardly ever says what she means. She is always speaking in code, because she is afraid of you understanding. But she also wants you to understand. [Be patient and ask
her questions about what she means. Don't show that you disapprove of what she's saying. She'll just stop talking about it altogether.]

5. She analyzes everything you say because she wants to know what you're really thinking about. She thinks you talk in code like she does. [Say things clearly and don't try to be mysterious. You already are a mystery to her.]

Book “You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation.”

What he wants

Of course, as a response to this checklist, the boys also have their own language, and it says:

“Men are just being honest. Girls are just not listening. If you start listening to their silences, you can finally hear the whole truth.”

The challenge facing men and women is to become aware of their identities, to accept their differences, and to live their lives fully and as skillfully as possible. To do this we must first understand in what ways we are different. We must avoid trying to change others to suit our needs. The reason why women communicate is to seek connection, and for men, is to seek status. Men tell far more stories especially jokes than women do and telling jokes is a masculine way to negotiate status. But not all men are the same. Sometimes, men are more likely to engage in talk only when it makes them look good, strong, competitive, or independent. On the other hand, women talk more about feelings, relationships and people. But of course, this theory is not absolute. These are only to describe how men and women are in most situations most of the time.

It’s quite interesting how these two amazing genders are equal yet different. Men talk less and think more. They are more on the objective side. Women are emotionally laden. They are usually subjective. But it is so amazing how these two genders support each other in times of need, because even if men do not know everything about women, and women don’t listen to the silence of men, their little understanding of each other is what makes their bond stronger.


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