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My Narcissism Thesis: A Real-Life Exposure

Updated on August 10, 2016
kenneth avery profile image

Kenneth has been a member of HubPages for five years. He is retired from a 23-year career in the weekly newspaper business.

Over-doing, such as going without a shirt more than wearing one, is a sign of someone who is self-centered
Over-doing, such as going without a shirt more than wearing one, is a sign of someone who is self-centered | Source

A wild guess

If I could take a wild guess, I would say that narcissism has its roots in a child’s formative years.
Speaking strictly as a non-professional here and only as an observer can I make such an observation.

Narcissism is a personal personality trait or some (licensed professionals) have even had the nerve to call it a “flaw” in the narcissist’s character.

I don’t know.

And maybe my opinion can be thought of in the solitary sense, still, I have to share this with you.

A narcissist always wears a smug smile no matter what mood he or she is in
A narcissist always wears a smug smile no matter what mood he or she is in | Source

Roots of Narcissism

Older generations have attached themselves to the saying, “the proof is in the pudding,” and so it might be found in such an easy view because in all reality all we have to do is watch and listen.

That’s it.

I give you an example. It happened near me (not to me) not long ago. I was sitting quietly in a fast food restaurant enjoying a cup of coffee. There was no one for me to talk to, so for once, I thought I would just relax and listen to the activity around me when it developed.

I confess. I like to talk to my friends and acquaintances whenever the opportunity affords itself, but at this particular time, I was just content to listen and learn.

A narcissist best friend
A narcissist best friend | Source

My live test study

Before I knew it, I viewed two “Twenty something” guys stroll into the area of the restaurant where I was sitting and sat down with their trays of food.

Now do not label me a busy body or stalker. I really could care less what people do around me if they do not pose a danger to my family, friends, younger and older people. And animals. These are the groups I cannot tolerate seeing being abused by someone with a behavior problem.

These two young guys, soft-spoken, well behaved, were both well-dressed in almost matching sweaters, cargo shorts and expensive-looking loafers without socks.

Both guys had moderate tans. Mentally I added all of these outward signs together and realized that these two might be two good friends who were narcissists.

And that’s cool. Like I said they were in their space and I was in my space. As long as they minded their business I was perfectly fine.

Just because a guy has a lot of hair on his chest, he should not feel an irresistible urge to go without his shirt on a beach or in his front yard just so girls can swoon over him
Just because a guy has a lot of hair on his chest, he should not feel an irresistible urge to go without his shirt on a beach or in his front yard just so girls can swoon over him | Source

Outward signs

The outward signs were not the “icing on the cake,” but the nature of their conversation and mannerisms served to fulfill that area of my summation about if these two guys were narcissists or not.

Honestly, it was entertaining to listen to these guys as they chatted about several topics none of which were really of interest to me. But in the volume of voice they were using, I could help but hear them.

“Bud, I tell you,” the half of the duo said. “I must have a charmed life.”

“Why is that, man?” the other half answered while squinting his eyes.

So far I understood the conversation, but the eye squinting I did not grasp. Was it needed for the guy replying to the first guy’s remark? It was a mystery

The truth comes out

“Well yesterday, bud, my office manager came to my desk and told me that I was being promoted to a higher position with a super raise,” the first guy said and also squinted his eyes.
I did notice his usages of the noun, “bud,” a second time in his conversation and now he was squinting his eyes.

Must be a fad of their generation I thought. And for all I knew it was.

“Well, man, why do I detect a little remorse in your news?” asked the second guy while he took a nibble of his french fry (you read right. Fry. Not fries) and again, squinted his eyes.
Maybe if I started squinting my eyes, my life would be charmed I thought.

“Well, when the boss had finished sharing the great news to me, he asked if I would be bothered if my co-worker, “Lance,” would be overlooked,” he replied while a smug grin appeared on is face. But this time no eyes squinting.

“Yeah, man, that is a thing. Being overlooked,” the second eye-squinting guy replied. Yes, and he squinted his eyes again while taking another nibble from the same French fry.

So these young guys were weight conscious. Nothing wrong with that, I thought.

Just what about "Lance?"

“I had to laugh,” the first guy said while taking a small sip of his water. “But ‘Lance,’ is a pretty cool dude and even though I had only been with my company about three months as opposed to his five years, well, I am not responsible for my supervisor’s decisions.”

How cold and insensitive, I thought.

You might disagree. That’s fine.

“So, this dude, ‘Lance,’ will get over it, huh?” the second guy added while looking down at his salad that he was not eating.

This, him nibbling (a) fry and a salad sitting on his tray cause my thinking of them being weight conscious to be blurred.

“Sure and why shouldn’t I get that promotion? I got my Master’s Degree in business so I earned it.” The first guy said just sipping his water.

“I guess you are right. A man cannot go around this day and time thinking of others because if he does, he will be trampled by the herd and left for carnage,” the second guy said with a stirring conviction in his voice.

Then both guys smiled a smug smile and high fived each other.

I almost choked on my coffee.

The conversation ends

This was one of the coldest conversations that I had heard lately. I wonder what they would have talked about if “Lance” were a part of their lunch?

I shall never know.

Afterwards, the two guys talked only in one and two word conversation and that too, torqued me not because they talked so smug and secure in their own eyes, but that cutesy cute tone of voice.

“You?” The first guy said.

“Yeah,” his buddy replied looking out of the window.

“Oh, you’ve already gotten a promotion?” The first guy asked.

“Two months ago, dude,” The second guy said and yes, this time, he squinted his eyes.

Both now chuckled. High fived each other and finished their conversation about how the first guy’s girlfriend, (a) “Millie,” had just moved into a swanky part of Atlanta along with purchasing a new Mercedes.

“Bud, I cautioned her against buying those wheels,” The first eye-squinting guy commented.

“Yeah?” asked the second guy.

“Millie’s” pretty sharp in the courtroom, but when it pertains to buying a luxury car and saving money, she is a complete Playboy bunny,” The first guy said while an obvious pride pumped up his chest.

Both guys laughed softly as his cheap remark at “Millie,” high fived, wiped their mouths and walked out of the restaurant.

For a moment I was sad. But that moment was short-lived.

No more entertainment from the two would-be narcissists in my view.


PHOTO CAPTION: Nature has it that most females are excited when a good looking guy is shirtless on the beach. She and her friends love to gaze at a guy's muscles as he parades himself around because his narcissism is being fed. But as human nature is, at some point, these girls will grow tired of the shirtless narcissist showing off his wares and want to watch a common guy with a tank top over his midriff.

My final thoughts are few

As I made my way back home, the thought did cross my mind about what “Millie’s” occupation was a lawyer or court reporter.

It didn’t matter.

As long as she was happy with her move to the swanky side of Atlanta and driving her new Mercedes.

I know I would.

© 2016 Kenneth Avery


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    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama


      I really doubt that you were ever narcissistic. I say this due to the tone of your comments which are so warm and selfless.

      I have had my bait of arrogant, narcissists in real life and on television (e.g. Ray Ramone, Everybody Loves Raymond) besides Jerry Seinfield are the two most notorious narcissists on earth.

      To say nothing about Will Smith.


      I best shut up before I go on a real rant.

      Keep in touch with me. I appreciate your friendship so much.

    • profile image


      2 years ago

      I had always thought that somewhere deep down we all had "just a Smidgen" of Narcissism. But the great majority of us learn to control it and because we were taught by our parents that we were not the Sun shining on the Universe lighting everything up, do take a more measured and caring view on life and on life's happenings. Kenneth, once more I enjoyed your piece and did learn from it. Keep them coming "My Friend" This was very good.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      2 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama


      That thought did cross my mind, but I reasoned with myself that using that word might be a bit harsh. But you are dead-on with that analogy.

      And Dreamer, you may write me at anytime. Thanks for your input.

    • DreamerMeg profile image


      2 years ago from Northern Ireland

      They sound like the type of psychopath mentioned in the book "snakes in suits", horrible!


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