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My Own Stalking
My Own Stalking Story
This is part of my story pulled from my blog at http://life501.blogspot.com. I hope telling my story will help anyone going through it and aid in avoiding it if at all possible and if you see any of things I've described here then you know it is time to get out of the relationship fast.
I thought it was time to talk about my own stalking and what I've been through. I went through it many years ago when I was young and I didn't really understand just how bad it can be or that many stalkers can actually kill their victims. The first man once threatened to go to my parents house and tie me up and make me watch while he tortured and killed my parents. I thought he was crazy and that was just crazy talk and he never actually do anything that bizarre. Luckily he never did. But he could have. That was what I didn't understand back then. I do now.
It all started over the fact I went into a restaurant that his we wife worked in and he told me I wasn't allowed to go there but when a friend suggested we eat lunch there I went and I stupidly told the boyfriend about it. By the time I realized I needed to get out of the relationship and tried he was driving by my house several times a day, calling my workplace and even following men I went out with home which resulted in these men never talking to me again. I remember one man in particular(he had children living with him as well as his elderly grandmother so when the BF threatened him it was understandable that he wanted no part of it) that I really liked and it all came to an end because of this boyfriend. The BF took me to court saying I was harassing and threatening him and his property to get the law on his side and he darn near succeeded. Finally I was able to get stalking charges against him.
This was a lesson I learned early on, get law enforcement on your side and anything the victim says is percieved as the rantings of a crazy person. After all, they think if you were truly the victim you would have come to them first. The only problem is the stalker is two steps ahead of you. He knows as soon as you want no more to do with him he's going to start the same behavior he's always engaged in with prior relationships and you don't know he's a stalker until he's actually stalking you. No one comes forth on the first date and relays that important piece of information.
He finally left me alone. It's a rather long and sordid story and not one I'm going to go into in full detail right now. I will get to the entire story later.
The second man pretended to be a good, christian man. That's mistake number one, thinking because you meet a man in church that he must be a cut above all the rest of the losers you've dated. Unfortunately, the opposite is true. This isn't saying there aren't good men in church but most of them are not active in a singles group looking for Ms. Right. A smart person knows that when the time comes to meet that special person you will meet him/her and it very likely won't be in a christian singles group. I found out later Jon(I can't post his full name for legal and privacy purposes although I wish I could and will go further into that later too) was frequenting several church singles groups and going out with several women at once. The favorite word of many now is hanging out. You do almost everything including even playing house but call it hanging out and if one person starts to think it might be more the other person can always refer back to the hanging out he/she said was he/she wanted. All that is is a game to keep several people on the sly at once and make them think they are the only one because these types of people never tell the person they're seeing(forgive me, hanging out with) that they are seeing several others. And that is meant to deceive pure and simple.
Jon did almost as much as the previous stalker but not quite as bad. He had a twist on his other than driving by which he did but not every day, he would get my trash while he was there, he sent threatening emails to the pastor of our church getting me banned from the church. You probably wondering why this was since I was the victim(which BTW I hate that word) he already had the jump on me by pretending he was the victim and was spreading lies before I even knew what was happening. It's classic stalker behavior. At least it was in my cases. Let everyone know that he(the stalker) is the victim by spreading malicious lies and getting as many people as you can on your bandwagon which isn't too difficult. He starts with his family which will side with him no matter how bad he is. He could be out slaughtering babies and they would still believe whatever lies he told them. Then the family does alot of the getting everyone they know on his side. He of course gets his friends on his side and when they don't know you(the victim) that isn't very difficult. They've known him possibly for years and they've never heard of you no naturally whatever the stalker says about you everyone automatically believes.
And you have to remember that many of the stalker's friends and family members are as sick as he is or they would tolerate being around him. Family I can understand possibly putting up with him but friends no way.
Jon created a blog about me. A terrible blog to make me look awful. He didn't stop with sending threatening and vulgar emails to the pastor from an AOL account he created in my name, telling anyone that would listen a pack of lies about how crazy and obsessed I was and turning even my closest friends against me, he went one step further and created a blog he wrote in almost daily, sent me horrible, some threatening emails he even sent himself threatening emails that he took to court. By this time he had the woman that is now his wife on his side as well as her sister who came to court with him.
I was amazed. What kind of woman falls for someone like this? Are women really that stupid and desperate for a man? Jon even admitted to me that he would hit a woman if she talked bad about his mother which is one of the reasons I wanted no more to do with him. I don't care what someone says, that is no reason to hit another person.
If someone talked bad about my parents(they are both dead now) I would tell them to get out of my sight and not to come into it again.
This is an introduction to my own stalking. One of the reasons for getting into it now is I think it's time and I want to offer as much advice as I can. Another reason is I discovered several months back another blog Jon created about me. After all this time he started writing more nonsense about me. I will get more into that later.