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My Stalking Story

Updated on August 11, 2010

My Stalking Story

This was taken from my blog at I hope my telling my story helps anyone else going through it.

This is my story and a few tips on how to stay safe and secure.

For the last several posts I've talked about nothing but my stalking experience and posted some of the posts from my stalkers blog(purely to show how sick and twisted he is) which are all made up, crazy and all are slanderous lies.
Here I will tell you a little more about my stalker and his intent. First off I'm not sure what his real intent was other than to scare me, harass me and make me look bad and try to make everyone think he was the victim. Pretty classic in my opinion however there is much I don't know about stalkers and their behavior and what drives them.

Not only did he create several blogs about me, he made posts on usenet and other message boards, he posted false personal ads for me at place like adult friendfinder and similar websites and would tell the men he was corresponding with my address so they would come to me my house. For the most part that failed because the majority of the men wouldn't come but they did call. Some were quite angry when they found out they weren't coming to my house or they weren't getting any dirty phone talk or messenger chat. Fortunately, I did not run into any real crazies. Most were just looking for fun and when they found out they weren't getting any from me they went elsewhere like a normal person would do. But there could have been lunatics in the bunch, it just as easily could have turned out quite differently.

Eventually, he posted an ad on usenet for a hit man to kill me. I found out about it from a law enforcement agency in another jurisdiction because someone had faxed it(the posts) to them. They faxed the information to my local law enforcement agency but they did nothing saying they couldn't prove he was doing it so he continued until we finally went to court after he showed up at my house with a weapon. He wasn't pleased with this and took false charges against me and claimed I had sent him and others in the church vulgar and threatening emails. Of course he wasn't able to get any of the other emails to be admissible but he was able to get his own. They were emails he had sent to himself and the others from an AOL account he created in my name.
I took the emails he had sent me and the usenet and blog posts and that was pretty much enough to get joint restraining orders which he argued against. He wanted there to be one against me but not him so he could continue to call or email me whenever he liked.
As for the hit man law enforcement thought he had posted it as a hoax, that he never intended to really hire someone to kill me. I'd like to know what gets the police to take action! When someone winds up dead!
The blog and usenet posts stopped for awhile and he never tried to call me on the phone but that didn't stop him. He would skype me daily sometimes as much as six times a day. Skype is where you can make phone calls over the internet and they are not traceable. It just comes up as a bunch of unreadable numbers on caller id which can't be called back or traced so there was nothing I could do. He would come by my house and take my trash. I only found out about this because one night I was cleaning my house out of all the unwanted magazines and other papers. Where we live those papers, magazines, catalogs, etc. can be recycled in a separate bin. Well I took a break to watch a little TV, it was getting quite late, and when I returned to putting the magazines, etc. in the bin I noticed all the papers in the bin were gone. A couple of days later I found some of the papers stuffed in my mailbox. Most of the papers were magazines and the rest was old credit card and bank accounts belonging to my Mom from when she was alive. They were all closed. I know I probably should have shredded those too but I figured there was no point as no one could use closed accounts. Maybe that's the reason he put them in my mailbox. Later on I noticed missing mail, missing bills, etc. There were calls to my electric and phone company trying to make changed to my account. I put passwords on everything. Bills, credit card and bank statements, essentially anything where a person can call in and get information or make changes. I finally got a Post Office box.

These are just some of the things he did right after the restraining order went into effect. I was glad that he didn't try to come to my door again.
Eventually when things cooled off and he felt it was safe to go back to his old ways, he starting sending me emails again but this time he would post under another name but he always let me know it was him. I traced the headers and it was always from a public computer. That's when he sent me copies of emails he'd hacked from my computer, not only my emails but emails my brother had sent to people he knew. He created new blogs about me. The first two he created he's since deleted but he has left one up. He started making posts to usenet again this time posting my address, SSN and credit card and bank account numbers. I have no idea how he got those unless it was when I logged into internet banking because I don't keep account numbers stored on my computer.
He applied for credit cards and loans in my name. He sent contractors(swimming pool builders, roofers, electricians, plumbers, driveway pavers, even tow trucks and taxi cabs) to my house. He even reported me to the social security administration as deceased. That's one of the quickest ways to ensure no new accounts of any kind. He filed false IRS tax returns and the list goes on. He harassed my family too.

It comes and goes. He'll post frequently to his blog then he'll stop for awhile. He still posts to usenet just not nearly as much as he used to. He has posted some of mine and my brothers personal emails on his blog for all to see.

I've since moved and although he claims he knows where in his blog I'm not sure he does.

Since this experience, I don't put any utilities in my name, I use only a post office box, I haven't applied for any new accounts not that I could get any my credit is destroyed. I'm careful to watch those around me and I watch carefully when I leave a location to see if I'm being followed. I don't answer my cell(that's all I have now and I keep my number blocked on all outgoing calls) and I don't answer any emails I receive from people I don't recognize.
One of the most important things I've done to protect my privacy is always use a post office box and I don't use my real address on my drivers license. That's probably not legal but for people that are homeless or continuous travelers using a family member or friends address is legal. I do it for privacy and security purposes.
Being stopped by a police officer is the most obvious reason to always use your real address because saying it's your correct address when it's not is lying to a law enforcement officer. However, if privacy and security are your top most priorities then telling that one little white lie isn't so bad. Of course I don't advocate using a false address. And whether you implement any other things I've suggested is entirely up to you.
Some of it I suggest for your own privacy and safety.
The most important thing in any stalking matter is to do everything you can to protect yourself and your children. Protect your safety, stay secure and most of all protect your privacy at all costs.
This is the one single thing that will lead a stalker right to you and that's not being diligent enough when it comes to your privacy so privacy is first on your list of priorities.
Lastly, if you are being stalked it isn't your fault. I don't care if you were nasty or hateful to someone, cut someone off in traffic, not so nice to a boyfriend/girlfriend you broke up with, no matter what you did or did not to because most stalkers just become obsessed with their victim, it isn't your fault and don't take that on. Just do everything you can to safe. And file the police reports even if they seem to do no good. BY filing it shows there is something going on and it shows a history and if you stalker is ever brought into a court of law you will have the reports. Keep all evidence. If he sends letters, emails, instant messages, phone calls, save all of it. If you happen to catch him/her on your property snap a picture if you can. This one is far more difficult than the rest. If you see him someplace you frequent take note of the time, date and location. Keep any correspondence he/she sends no matter how irrelevant you might think it is.

And remember stalking isn't just a man thing where men stalk women. Women can stalk men and people can stalk the same sex. Even children can stalk other children.

As for my case, nothing to do this day has ever been done. We did go to court and got the restraining orders which didn't stop him from calling and coming by my house although he didn't come to my door. It really did nothing. The police said they couldn't prove he was writing the posts or the blog so he was basically free to continue doing what he wanted. The good news for me is after all this time he probably intends to do no more than he's done so far I hope. Nevertheless I do everything possible to protect my privacy and safety.


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    • sassygrrl32 profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Myrtle Beach, South Carolina

      The stalking started before my husband and I met then died off for awhile(except for calls, etc.) then started back up after the restraining order went out of effect. When he started back up he's stuck to the emails, blogs, etc. for harassment rather than coming to my house(although I don't think he knows where I live now, have moved a few times and lived out of state).

      As for my husband, this was before him and I really don't bother him that much with it. He tells me to just ignore it. The blogs I can to a degree but after awhile he'll send emails, I don't check the email often.

    • American Romance profile image

      American Romance 

      8 years ago from America

      Well if the police werent smart enough to trace his emails, you should have posted blogs to get a couple of big ole boys to whipping his A**! This type of behaviour seems to be prevalent in todays society and I don't get it! My ex wife had close to the same situation and I was worried about her! After calling the cops one day when he tried to beat her door down it finaly got better! But she still gets hang up phone calls with caller id blocked. and she got flowers from the weirdo on a holiday. You never mentioned how your husband thought about this? Or what actions he took?


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