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Living with a child molester

Updated on June 4, 2013
It does take a village to protect our kids. Neighbors can help. If you see something ,say something.
It does take a village to protect our kids. Neighbors can help. If you see something ,say something. | Source
Keep our babies safe, no matter whose doing it, get that child away from them.
Keep our babies safe, no matter whose doing it, get that child away from them. | Source

My first marriage was to a mean drunk,who beat me and his dad making passes at me, bad grabbing my breasts all the time. His son my husband let him do it.

One night he sent his daughter to bring him his girlfriends 4 year old daughter. Bring her to his room.I ran to the phone booth, called the police, told them no sirens and I'd meet them in the back. They broke down his door and caught him right in the act, using pencils and other objects.

He was taken to jail that night. Released the next day. Released due to over a crowded jail.He was considered a low risk offender. his girlfriend moved back in the home. Bringing that poor child right back to him. I knew he couldn't be around children.

I called the police again and this time he stayed in jail waiting for his trial. His girlfriend visited him every chance she had. The daughter went in protective custody. He broke up with the girlfriend when he got out of jail.She had the money though,welfare. She supplied the money he needed.They got back together.

He told everyone I set him up.That he was asleep, and I stripped the girl, and laid her next to him while he was asleep.That he had no idea that I had set him up. That was his defense. The policemen then testified they were both with no clothes on him or the little girl.

Two policemen at trial said they had broke down the door, catching him in the act. They took statements from all of us.

He went to trial, he was found guilty. The judge said he wished he could give him more time. He gave him a year, the law at that time.My ex husband beat the heck out of me ,because I testified against his father.

For putting her in harms way,His girlfriend's daughter was removed from her care.I pray she was placed with a nice family, and I pray she doesn't remember. The woman that was suppossed to protect her from harm, put her in straight right back in the arms of a predator. She said he loved her and her daughter, becaused she loved him. She said he wouldn't hurt her.

The mother should have went to jail too. The investgator told me he thought she might be mentally ill.Maybe even took part in the sexual abuse.He wished he could prove it. I agreed with him. Something had to be wrong with her. She did it for love. She was not an attractive woman at all. So she stayed with the one at any cost that wanted her.

Her little girl was so sweet. Very, very, cute little girl. I had no idea this was going on under my nose.When I found out, there was heck to pay. I was told he molested his own daughters. I hated those two, I made sure everyone knew it. I desperately went to his girlfriends parents. I stood there begging them to take her. They refused to help their grandaughter. They told me thay couldn't afford her, and if she needed therapy they couldn't pay for help for her.

This little one couldn't help herself. She knew mommy wasn't going to help her. I tried so hard to protect her as much as I was able too.Kept her with me ,taking her places. To keep her away from him. She wasn't mine. I had no rights by law to take her and raise her myself.

After the trial my ex husband, took me out of the state. I was okay with that. I knew the little girl was finally safe from him for good.

I wanted to make sure he had no contact with my child. I had one more child with my ex husband. He was mean and cruel. He hit me, tortured me. After 2 years of marriage I sought what help I could.

Now we have so many resources for people in crisis You just need to call. You'll be whisked away when he's not home with what you could carry. I did it. I'm so glad I did. We had to get the kids and I out of there.

Abuse is never okay. Run don't walk call a crisis center. You'll have some protection from the law. You will know though that your children are safe. If your gut tells you something's wrong it probably is.

They say the first step is the hardest,I found out it really isn't. I had less resources than we have today. They will hide you from your abuser. They will help you find a apartment. Food, Clothes.protect you.It's up to us to protect our children.

I urge you to get out.My ex husband shot himself in the head. Had we still be married I'd be dead too. Get out while you can. Use the resources available to you.

Remember this. If someone really loves you ,they want to protect you,not hurt you.

copyright 2012


Submit a Comment

  • Rusti Mccollum profile imageAUTHOR

    Ruth McCollum 

    6 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon

    He should have gotten life! I was appalled at the 1 year he got!

  • Au fait profile image

    C E Clark 

    6 years ago from North Texas

    So glad you got yourself and your children to safety and that you now have a good relationship. Glad too that your ex-husband's girlfriend's daughter was removed from her custody.

    Hard to believe the price of molesting a 4-year old girl was only 1 year in prison. Pretty shocking that a night in jail was the only punishment when his deed was witnessed by police. The price here in Texas is life in prison for each and every incident a person is convicted of with a child under the age of 12. That has been true for at least 20 years.

    So glad for you that you are now free and safe!

  • Rusti Mccollum profile imageAUTHOR

    Ruth McCollum 

    6 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon

    It's a story that was hard to write,because I know then, now, you could be living with the devil.

  • profile image


    6 years ago

    Hi Rusti.

    A very emotional story.

    I'm glad you got yourself and your children out before something happened that would effect your children for the rest of their lives.

    Take care.

    LOL Ghaelach

  • Rusti Mccollum profile imageAUTHOR

    Ruth McCollum 

    6 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon

    Thankyou as well, ALL of you for your comments here.I want my story to get out of a bad situation.

  • Rusti Mccollum profile imageAUTHOR

    Ruth McCollum 

    6 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon

    Thankyou. The more people we can reach, the more we can help.

  • Rusti Mccollum profile imageAUTHOR

    Ruth McCollum 

    6 years ago from Lake Oswego, Oregon

    I had a hard time writing this story. I wrote it because there ARE people out there being abused.I helped get her away from him,I'm hoping someone in an abusive relationship, to get up the courage to leave, and stopped the cycle of abuse. I have never forgot that little girl.I hope she is with a loving family. Thankyou for your comments.Anyone in an abusive relation ship wants out.Call for help or write me at I will have my hand out,ready to grab yours. I will help you find the resources and a SAFE place to be. Thankyou again for the comments. Peace and love to you.

  • sgbrown profile image

    Sheila Brown 

    6 years ago from Southern Oklahoma

    What horrible things some people can do! I am so glad to took action against your father-in-law, God knows someone needed to. I am sorry you went through what you did. I am very glad you got out of that relationship and have been so happy since. Have a wonderful day!

  • CelticWillow67 profile image


    6 years ago from Central New Jersey

    Thank you for sharing this tragic story. People need to be reminded that this horrific behavior goes on. I hope all involved are in a better place now. Voted up.

  • SmartAndFun profile image


    6 years ago from Texas

    This is such a powerful story. I hope and pray that anyone who reads this and is in an abusive situation will take your advice to get out. You saved that little girl's life, as well as your own and no doubt your children's lives, also. I wish you unlimited peace, love and happiness. Thank you for telling your story and helping others.


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