My name is Doug
OK, maybe it’s my background; 37 years as a railroad supervisor fighting bogus, trumped up, lawyer inspired injury suits, but these phony commercials just get the best of me. That’s why I chose to build this blog around the most prominent one; you know the one where the guy gets on TV and proclaims; “my name is Doug and I have Mesothelioma! Well Doug before your visit to your lawyer I’m sure you had never heard of Mesothelioma much less pronounce it with such certainty!
Sorry if I step on any toes here but this is just the sort of thing that is responsible for running American Businesses overseas. Old Doug, if there really is an old Doug, and millions like him have allowed themselves to become willing pawns in the Trial Lawyers assault on American Industry. This same assault which has been eating away at the profitability of American Industry until finally left with no other choice those that could were forced to flee instead of remaining and allowing this litigious cancer to eat away at them until finally they succumbed falling victim to this atrocity.
The lesson here is that the three legged stool holding up the Democratic Party is represented in this one commercial. Doug represents the millions of victims the Democratic Party has created. You see old Doug and his victim counter parts were more than willing to do the job; accept the wages; buy a home with those wages; feed his kids with those wages but then when the disease of the month surfaces, they become the first person in line with his hand out to get something for nothing from that same company!
The second leg upholding that Union of Soviet Socialist Democrats; for that is indeed what that party has become is represented by the Trial Lawyers! You see Old Doug didn’t discover Mesothelioma all by himself; hell it probably took his lawyer weeks and weeks just to get him to pronounce it correctly. I can just see and hear the first 100 takes of the commercial before finally refining the end product; “my names Doug and my lawyer says I got Me-so-Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-leee-oooooo-ma, I don’t recon I rightly know what it is but he says it bad!” Can’t you just see some sleaze bag in a pin stripped suit with slick down hair working syllable by syllable with old Doug!
And finally the third leg supporting this unholy alliance is the Labor Unions. You see they have been at war with corporations for the past 50 years. Somehow the fact that those same corporations that provide them with jobs must be allowed to make a profit or they will cease to exist as will the jobs they support escapes them. As far as the Union Bosses are concerned Corporations exist to employ people and profit is a dirty 6 letter word! So the unions are in league with the Trial Lawyers both encouraging as well as providing assistance whenever possible as more and more Doug’s surface after years of gainful employment to bite the hand that fed them.
So my friends the next time you see this commercial remember old Doug before they refined him and how it must have gone in the early days of inception; “my names Doug and my lawyer says I got Me-so-Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-leee-oooooo-ma, I don’t recon I rightly know what it is but he says it bad and that I’ll get lots of money for saying I got it if I just sign on the dotted line and become a member of this here class!”No no, cut cut cut you’re not supposed to say that last part; that’s not part of the commercial!!!!!