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Nice Work If You Can Get It

Updated on November 18, 2011

Where Do We Apply?

How Sweet It Is!

Now just put on your imagination cap for a few minutes. You've landed a cushy job with a safety net a mile wide. It doesn't matter if your bonuses are based upon success, they'll be there even for a mediocre performance on your part. Your safety net is the American taxpayer and we all know what suckers they are. The two companies (I use that term loosely) where one needs to slide that application (along with a large campaign contribution) are known as Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae.

Fancy yourself as a top executive in two agencies that are busted, nationalized, rung out and constantly bailed out and on the public dole. This seems to be the ticket. You just need to work your way up to being one of the top six in the organizations and your wildest bonus dreams will be realized. Try out $35 million for two years of laborious work, at least according to them anyway, and if you happen to be the head of either of those bureaucracies you will reap half of that and the other four get the crumbs. This isn't my imagination at work but the cold hard reality of what is going on.

So up pops our pompous Congress, who by the way needs to maybe start earning their paychecks too, that wants to hold another hearing and haul all these mediocre folks up before them so they can lambast them about their excesses. Isn't that like the pot calling the kettle black? So the tongue lashings are dispensed but guess what? Not one of those "top dogs" are getting the ax. I recognize political posturing when I see it because I see it so often that it turns my stomach. One group of pompous asses dressing done another group of the same stripe.

Look! For 6 million dollars I'd let them tie me up, throw a blindfold and a gag on me and make me feel real cheap like - even in public. Just let me continue to bleed the American public and expect to be rewarded handsomely for my performance. Where else but in the federal bureaucracy can you find such work? Most top executives would see the pink slip sailing onto their desk like a SST landing at Orly Airport but not this protected class.

So what do you have to do to earn that type of compensation? In Fannie's case they are asking for another $7.8 billion in bailout dollars (read: taxes) this year while Freddie is coming in for a paltry $6 billion of our money. And they want $6 million bonuses? For what? They claim it is to attract top talent. If "top talent" is producing these types of results then lets maybe try something else. Only in a place like Washington DC is anyone paid for being a massive failure. It sure won't happen out here in the private sector. Out here you get the old size 12 squarely on your third point of contact.

So will Congress give them the pony ride they are asking for? Don't bet against that not happening because, besides all the teeth gnashing and jaw wagging, we're still talking about the good old boys and girls network. They just have to have those seat warmers as token whipping posts.

It's okay to pay people like that for failure if I look at it realistically. We've been paying politicians far more than they are worth for decades on end. Where else can you take a part time job, strut around like a peacock so full of your own self-importance and continually "not" perform the duties that are clearly outlined in the US Constitution as their guide. Ah hell, just forget about that. They'll just make things up as they go along.

I'm just sayin...

The Frog


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    • profile image

      femmeflashpoint 5 years ago

      Ditto on being spot-on.

      Up and across!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 5 years ago

      You hit the frog right on the lily pad. If we don't limit the size of government no one will ever hear our voices again. Up and awesome.

    • Harvey Stelman profile image

      Harvey Stelman 5 years ago from Illinois

      Froggy, On the money! Oh sorry that's theirs. H

    • The Frog Prince profile image
      Author

      The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Naomi - Apathy seems to be the order of the day. Please take a look at my latest. Failure like we've just seen seems to be the order of the day.

      https://hubpages.com/politics/When-Failure-Is-An-O...

      The Frog

    • profile image

      Naomi's Banner 5 years ago

      Yup, times a thousand. Has the American citizen become so complacent that we are going to sit around and let this happen again and again?! Way to put it out there!

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 6 years ago from Minnesota

      Nice stuff and right on the money Froggie. I hit Every button on this hub.

    • profile image

      Prairie 6 years ago

      Kick butt ... time to let them feel the tip of a Nacona. then chained to a pickup bumper for a bounce of a tad or two, out across a scrub of sandhill plum and mesquite brush ... something to feed a few armadillos and feral hogs with left overs drop shipped to the local polygamy soup kitchens for border wetbacks.

    • The Frog Prince profile image
      Author

      The Frog Prince 6 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Jim - Sad that the average person just sits on the sidelines eating their popcorn and thinking that these people represent us. They keep electing the same clowns to run the circus.

    • FitnezzJim profile image

      FitnezzJim 6 years ago from Fredericksburg, Virginia

      That is where our tax dollar goes, watching them and their staff put on a show. We sit there and watch, we're entertained, we discuss it, and we never stop to think our taxes were the ticket we paid to watch the show. And at no point do they represent, they simply tell us they're doing the best they can for us, and watch us meekly follow along, pockets emptying as we follow.

    • thebluestar profile image

      Annette Donaldson 6 years ago from Northern Ireland

      No one says it just like you FP. Humour, wisdom and a little twitch of tension in there too. Welcome back to HP.

      voted up and awesome as always.

    • Darlene Sabella profile image

      Darlene Sabella 6 years ago from Hello, my name is Toast and Jam, I live in the forest with my dog named Sam ...

      I agree with brbj on this, it's our fault all this is happening, we need to stand up stronger and learn how to vote, the new generations just doesn't care, I try to tell them, and they tell me I must be reading junk, they tell me they watch the news all the time and they have never heard of such things. That is the target market that needs to learn what's really going on. Great article

    • profile image

      rip van winkle 6 years ago

      fannie and freddie are nothing more than a money laundering house for powers that be, just like solnydra, they give them money and the send it right back in the form of a campaign contribution. i say fire the whole bunch!

    • profile image

      Ghost32 6 years ago

      Good to see you back in the saddle again (so to speak), Jim.

      And now Newt is "explaining" his reception of just a few paltry mil from the tax dollar mill...

      Do Frogs eat Newts?

      Voted Up & A.

    • profile image

      Old Poolman 6 years ago

      FP - Everything you said in this hub is the truth. It almost seems like the poorer the performance, the bigger the reward. It makes you wonder if any of these idiots could even qualify to flip burgers in the real world. Not that burger flipping is a bad thing, I just don't think they are smart enough to handle the job.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 6 years ago from south Florida

      We have no one but ourselves to blame, Frog. We deserve bad government and lack of leadership when we let politicians win elections.

      Thanks for this spot-on synopsis of the Fannie/Freddie mess.

    • marcoujor profile image

      Maria Jordan 6 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

      Back on that lilypad, meaner, greener than ever... that's MY Frog!! Voted UP and at em, mar.