Nine Ways That You Can Spot a Ruined Weekend Coming From a Mile Away
PLEASE READ THIS VERY CAREFULLY
Unless you are ungodly wealthy to the point of you can set-fire to thousand-dollar bills all day long and never miss it, you have a job. And why? In order to eat, pay rent or your mortgage, make car payments and make sure you get your kid through college.
You have a hard job, but I am not talking about the “lucky” people who have “hard” jobs. I am talking about you and unknown people who have disgusting, sickening, dreaded, miserable, and depressing jobs that those with these occupations go into work each day praying for God to bring them home. (Many of these jobs are shown in the photos and videos that I have posted on this story).
Do you now or have you ever had a job you hated so much that you tried to intentionally get yourself fired for days on end? Friends, these are jobs so terrible they defy reasonable description. But, (yes, there’s always a “but”) due to the shaky economy, you have to keep your job, with reasons listed in my first paragraph, but you know full-well that you cannot just up and quit your job, for the jobless-market is slim as a Bluetick houndng who has not been fed in weeks, so that is like your “prison” that you may never receive a pardon.
SOMETIMES, YOUR ECONOMIC STATE HELPS YOU TO ENDURE TORMENT
But over the years you have learned how to cope with this deporable-situation as your job by simply learning to look forward to something, and that being the weekend that you are off from your job. SAD HORRIBLE JOB FACT: most employers let their employees have Saturday and Sunday off to be with family, friends, and have a life, but in your case, you are only allowed ONE weekend per month. And you were told this fact when you were hired by your horrible company, but back then at your hiring, one weekend off a month didn’t seem so bad. But then again, you were young , jobless, and didn’t know how to spot a shyster-of-a-human-resources-manager, so here you are. Stuck with a bad job, horrible working conditions and seemingly, no one, including your classless-company, does not care at all.
But you have matured over the miserable years and now, it is your one weekend off starting this coming Friday and you are beside yourself with glee. Happy is not the word. You cannot stand still for wanting to run to the timeclock, clocking your timecard and heading home to enjoy your weekend from Friday night through Sunday night. What a great time you have planned with your family.
THERE ARE TIMES WHEN THE PHRASE "THIS HAPPENS" DOES NOT WORK
And just as sure as the sun rises in the east, when you arrive at home, bad news hits. Your future son-in-law was just arrested for possession of a controlled-substance and a firearm, and hauled off to jail which devastated your only daughter sending her to her room and now she is falling apart—crying, yelping to high heaven that her life is over and as far as “the” special weekend plans you had, you can kiss them goodbye. You have to take care of business, straighten this mess out which means forking-out bail money for your senseless future son-in-law, and that will take every cent you have got, including the cash you saved weeks ago, to get him out of jail and let him spend the weekend with you and your family so your daughter will recover.
Now, at this time in your life, don’t you wish you would have had this
Nine Ways That You Can Spot a Ruined Weekend Coming a Mile Away
- On Saturday morning, your wife announces, “Honey, I am pregnant!” You are stunned almost into a stroke. “But I used protection,” you respond. “But dear, you were so drunk that weekend, you did not know that short piece of garden hose you substituted for a condom did not work,” your wife explains.
- On that Friday night before you and the wife leave for an out-of-town get-away, you learn that a male and female gopher have crawled into your heating system and their lives expired from suffocation. Now you have to spend the entire weekend aiding a heating and cooling tech who will hit you with a bill for over $4500.00, not including parts and labor.
- Unexpectedly, your least-favorite uncle and “Bubbles,” a prostitute he picked up, pay you a surprise visit that lasts the entire weekend. On top of him ruining your weekend, “Bubbles,” swears that you were putting some moves on her when she accidentally bumped into you at 3 a.m. that ensuing Saturday when you went to the bathroom and she staggered through the kitchen door with your uncle, both drunk as skunks and unable to make a clear sentence. “Bubbles,” loses all manner of self-control, tells your wife, kids, and your neighbors, and you are sunk. Really sunk.
- A stray dog eaten-up with mange, bites your wife on the left shin and she has to be rushed to a hospital out of town that deals with rabies. The usual emergency room staff that would have gotten your wife in and out in record time, were all off as a gesture of “thanks” from the hospital administrator for doing such a great job over the past month.
- On your way home from work on the Saturday morning to go camping with the family at a nearby lake, to save time, you sweep-by a fast-food restaurant to grab a bite of breakfast and just before you and your family leave for a weekend of camping, you come down with a severe case of food poisoning.
- You and the family cannot leave for your one weekend off due to the police taking authority over your entire neighborhood and are going to question each household for information about a rash of burglaries that has went unchecked for weeks. They will interrogate families alphabetically by the first letter of their names. Now you wisn that your family name had been “Allred,” instead of “Zebennski.”
- A religious worker, taking up monetary-gifts from people in your neighborhood, turns out to be a scam artist. Before you get home from work, your wife has given him $100.00 in cash—not knowing the cash she found in the utensil drawer was the cash you saved for a motel room and dinner that night. And anyone knows that a man cannot getef a nice room and dinner on a twenty-dollar-bill, all of the cash you have left.
- Before you and your family take off for your one weekend off, your youngest child goes missing. You call the cops. You and the authorities and neighbors spend the entire weekend searching for “little Bobby.” Turns out, he was playing across the neighborhood with his pal, “Tommy,” who suggested that the two of them hide in his room.
- You and your wife are headed down the driveway when suddenly, a pack of raccoons literally take-over your yard, backyard, and start trying to get into your home. Oh, you can call a pest exterminator. Oh, no you cannot. Your phone is in the house. So to avoid being bitten by an allegedly-rabid raccoon, you and the wife stay in the station wagon. Too bad that all of your helpful neighbors have all left for their weekends out of town.
“Thank you all sincerely for reading my hubs. I pray that only good things happen to you.”