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Homophobes Save Marriage in North Carolina

Updated on May 8, 2012
Civil Union Me
Civil Union Me | Source

Once again the South rises up to defend yet another American institution, marriage. With the passage of Amendment One in North Carolina, marriage is once more protected from the ravages of homosexuality.

Since the South became the heartland of America in 1803, they have protected American institutions such as slavery and segregation. But powers in the NWO, the North World Order, attacked our heritage and traditions. What’s worse, they took away slavery through violent, uncalled for aggression. They still to this day have never paid us reparations for their Yankee destruction and loss of property during the War of Northern Aggression.

Great men like Bull Conner protected our land and heritage from integration when the jack-booted thugs from the National Guard came down south and demanded we put black and white together in the same school. Before you knew it, we had to have lunch in the same diners with these people, diners that were once safe havens for Klan meetings.

History thrusts forward, and once again the South stands erect to save another great institution, this time, heterosexual, Bible approved marriage. Amendment One in North Carolina is a referendum that will prevent slippery liberals from having “domestic unions” and acting like God did not intend unions to be civil any more than he meant gays to lay with one another in a loving (gay “love” is as unholy as finding a dead hog in your corn mash when making moonshine), union.

Amendment One is “An Act to Amend the Constitution to Provide That Marriage Between One Man and One Woman is the Only Domestic Legal Union That Shall Be Valid or Recognized in This State.” What a great, succinct title. It says right there that if you want to be part of a union in God’s holy church, you have to a man loving a woman and a woman loving a man just like it says in the Bible somewhere. So, if you’re gay and want to get married, stay in the closet and marry a woman. That goes double for you lesbians. There are plenty of real men in the Bible belt of every state that would marry you and teach you how to be straight.

Now, if we can’t prosecute homosexuals like we used to, as the compassionate conservative North Carolina Pastor Ron Baity grumbled, then we are on a slippery slope to hell. Arresting people for being who they were born to be, i.e. gay, should be what the government does. And them first gays to arrest are the marrying kind. We need to handcuff them in their cells and teach them what bad boys they are.

The government should not help the sick and the poor like them liberals want us to do; the government is for controlling gay sex, like God wants us to do. Doesn't it just make you get all butterfly like in the pit of your groans thinking about manly sweaty flesh rubbing up against one another on a hot day while celebrating a gay honeymoon and all? This is what that gay marriage leads to, dang it!

So thank you North Carolina for defending another great, noble and American tradition, straight, heterosexual marriage as God intended. You make Jefferson Davis and George Wallace proud.

Peace,
Tex Shelters

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