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Old Man Banned from Wal-Mart

Updated on November 8, 2007

Mr. Fenton Banned from his local store

>>>> After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton

>>>> insisted her husband

>>>> accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.

>>>>

>>>> Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found

>>>> shopping

>>>> and preferred to get in and get out.

>>>>

>>>> Equally unfortunate, Mrs. Fenton was like most

>>>> women--she loved to

>>>> browse.

>>>>

>>>> One day Mrs. Fenton received the following

>>>> letter from her local

>>>> Wal-Mart.

>>>>

>>>> Dear Mrs. Fenton,

>>>>

>>>> Over the past six months, your husband has been

>>>> causing quite a commotion in our store.

>>>> We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be forced to

>>>> ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.

>>>> Fenton are listed below and

>>>> are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

>>>>

>>>> June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put

>>>> them in people's carts when

>>>> they weren't looking.

>>>>

>>>> July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House-wares to

>>>> go off at 5-minute intervals.

>>>>

>>>> July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor

>>>> leading to the women's restroom.

>>>>

>>>> July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in

>>>> an official voice,

>>>> "Code 3 in House-wares. Get on it right away."

>>>>

>>>> August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put

>>>> a bag of M&M's on layaway.

>>>>

>>>> September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to

>>>> a carpeted area.

>>>>

>>>> September 15: Set up a tent in the camping

>>>> department and told other shoppers

>>>> he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and

>>>> blankets from the bedding department.

>>>>

>>>> September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help

>>>> him he began crying

>>>> and screamed, "Why can't you people just leave me

>>>> alone?"

>>>>

>>>> October 4: Looked right into the security camera

>>>> and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

>>>>

>>>> November 10: While handling guns in the hunting

>>>> department, he asked the clerk

>>>> where the antidepressants were.

>>>>

>>>> December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously

>>>> while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

>>>>

>>>> December 6: In the auto department, he practiced

>>>> his "Madonna look" by

>>>> using different sizes of funnels.

>>>>

>>>> December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when

>>>> people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

>>>>

>>>> December 21: When an announcement came over the

>>>> loudspeaker, he assumed a fetal position

>>>> and screamed "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"

>>>>

>>>> Last, but not least:

>>>>

>>>> December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the

>>>> door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly,

>>>>"Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"

>>>>

>>>> Regards, Wal-Mart

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    • profile image

      Justin Bieber 5 years ago

      lol very nice keep ur dreams alive :D

    • profile image

      slf 6 years ago

      these are the types of things my husband would do and has done at the doctor's offices too! He's only 44! Love it!

    • profile image

      aqua 7 years ago

      don't be fooled, this was obvioulsy taken from the list of ways to get yourself banned

    • profile image

      Hallie  7 years ago

      OMG that so kool imma sooo gonna try some of those thangs

    • profile image

      bluebird 8 years ago

      is this true

    • bluebird profile image

      bluebird 9 years ago

      Very funny. Really enjoyed. Thanks!

    • Cybermouse profile image

      Cybermouse 9 years ago from Bentonville, AR

      hilarious

    • profile image

      joygrl 10 years ago

      hahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha

      hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

    • Ralph Deeds profile image

      Ralph Deeds 10 years ago from Birmingham, Michigan

      Pretty funny!