ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Other Things You Can Do With a Cut of Steak

Updated on May 28, 2015
A full-meal can easily describe a grilled steak.
A full-meal can easily describe a grilled steak.
Honestly, does this not make you hungry?
Honestly, does this not make you hungry?

Hey, all steak lovers!

I'll get to the point. Do you enjoy steak? Any steak? I do. And furthermore, I do not mind being called a "Steak Lover," for that is what I am when I am not involved with some life-project. Yes, writing hubs that entertain my cherished-followers is one life-project I rank up there with eating steak.

But you and I both know that America's economy is in bad shape. Oh, in some areas it's improving slowly and surely, but in my case, I cannot take my wife for steak just any old time. Actually, I could never do this "just any old time," but thank God above, we got to eat steak pre-economic troubles than we do now.

Listen. You cannot fool me. You have not read the last 20 words of this story because of salivating over the steak photos to your right. Hey, I don't blame you. If I were you I would be doing the same thing.

This waiter at Peter Luger, is smiling because he is serving steak to his customers.
This waiter at Peter Luger, is smiling because he is serving steak to his customers.
This tasty steak is served at Steve's Dakota Restaurant.
This tasty steak is served at Steve's Dakota Restaurant.
T-bone steak grilling to a perfect taste.
T-bone steak grilling to a perfect taste.
What a great meal!
What a great meal!
Ideal for a relaxing dinner out.
Ideal for a relaxing dinner out.
There is no way to not enjoy a great steak.
There is no way to not enjoy a great steak.
Owner of Wolfgang's Steakhouse in New York City.
Owner of Wolfgang's Steakhouse in New York City.
What a great way to dine-out.
What a great way to dine-out.
With this steak you can savor each bite.
With this steak you can savor each bite.
A rare steak will always "hit the spot."
A rare steak will always "hit the spot."
Look how juicy and thick.
Look how juicy and thick.
No one would turn this down.
No one would turn this down.
Steak with mushrooms can't be beat.
Steak with mushrooms can't be beat.

Interesting steak-facts:

Steak is the most-interesting meat on the planet. Just look at the "steak facts" I found:

  • Guys seldom order steak on their first date due to it's expense, and if the guy is not experienced in cutting-steak for consumption, he will surely embarrass himself in front of his sexy date. But if he is a "man about town," you bet he will order steak, the finest cut, or Maine lobster to impress his sexy date. It's like steak has multiple-personalities.
  • Steak, if eaten slowly, is probably the most-delicious food item on the menu, but you best eat your steak slowly for many people have ignored the "steak speed eating limit," and got carried to the emergency room with a bite of this tasty meat hung in their throat.
  • Steak, like all other things, are judged by a higher-society. Those people who reside or own New York City, Boston, San Diego or Houston. Time was, not so long ago, that ordering "T-bone steak," told the waiter and other diners that "you" were "at the top" of your game and enjoying every minute of of your success. Not anymore. Today's status-builder is New York Strip. Just watch your waiter's eyes and expression when you order this cut of steak. Then you will see what I mean.These are but three startling steak facts.

Would you like to read . . .

Other Things One Can Do With a Cut of Steak

  • Sail it through the air like a delicious-smelling Frisbee.
  • Use it to play a quick-game of two-hand tag football if your family football has been lost.
    If you are a criminal, instead of chloroform to put your kidnapping victim to sleep, roll-up your steak, squeeze the liquid out and put it over their mouth quickly. Works as well as chloroform. But please DO NOT do this.
  • With the right amount of shaping, a steak can be used for a comical head-dress.
    In self-defense only, if a troublemaker comes at you and your date in a posh restaurant, simply take the steak you are about to devour, and fling it at the thug's facial region. I promise you that when it hits him, he will scream for mercy.
  • If you are a puppet-designer, a steak makes a great puppet. Just add eye holes, a mouth, and little arms and you have the crowd at your feet.
  • If your plans change, just put the steak into your pocket and take-off. Steak will remain safe to eat for at least 24 hours. With this fact you can even with bets. If a nosy man asks, "son, what is that buldge in your pocket?" "Sir, it's a ribeye steak," you reply with stone face. "I will be you twenty-bucks that buldge is not steak, but illegal drugs," your adversary says. "Okay," you state as you open your pocket and take your non-eaten ribeye out to show him as he sadly hands you a twenty. See?
  • Take-out T-bone steak makes a great "ice-breaker," on a first date with this gorgeous girl.
  • She is expecting flowers of some sort, but what a smooth move in bringing her a T-bone steak with all of the trimmings inside a styrofoam plate with a lid. Her eyes will grow wide with happiness and she, being so happily-surprised, might let, "Yes, he is the one," slip while she is smiling at you.
  • Steak can also do its part to fight international crime. Simply stuff your steak with contents of any over-the-counter sinus capsule and upon your being kidnapped and held for ransom, your hungry kidnapper will smell the tasty steak in your pocket and say, "Eeez that steak?" Then you "act" defiant. "Uhhh, no, Mr. Kidnapper. That is just some cat food." "Theenk yew can fool me?" the stupid kidnapper replies while ripping the steak from your pocket and stuffing it down his throat as quickly as possible. In about an hour, his "lights will be out," and you will be free, but only after you call-in this crime and the police tell you that this criminal is "Jacques El Clampeez," international thief and kidnapper.
  • If you see an innocent person clinging to the side of a building in fear, do not panic. The source of their fear is at their feet growling at them. Wild dogs that have sneaked into the city from surrounding wooded areas. But you, the quick-thinking steak-lover, just tosses the remnant of your lunch, a Porterhouse Steak you had in your jeans pocket to the vicinity of the terrified person and soon, the wild dogs will be at odds with each other of who will get the meat while you and the now-free victim of their rage are sitting down in a downtown cafe about to order yourselves a juicy steak to celebrate their freedom.
  • Steak can be used in your new hobby: Magic. When you do your "Disappearing Steak Trick," at your family Christmas, use a New York Strip to hold in your hand and continue with your making this pretty cut of meat vanish.

Lastly . . .

  • I do not condone this, but if you are in town doing some shopping, and the cop on the beat sees that your parking meter has expired and about to give you a citation, offer him in a respectful way, the raw Del Monico's steak you have just paid for in the grocery store and hopefully he will not see it as bribery.

If you sense him about to balk, throw in the garlic bread and salad fixings.

And now, here's "Furious Pete!"


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)