The Charitable Spirit: Good Deeds

Are you a kind, compassionate and forgiving person? I believe you are, on some level, to be drawn to this read about The Charitable Spirit...

Some of us are situationally charitable. Christmas and Thanksgiving in America are the perfect opportunities for a variety of altruistic acts. At other times in the year, the demands of family, work and other personal stressors are ever on the front burner. Charity begins at home is a familiar mantra.

Still some view life as being of service to others. This may be shown in one's career, avocation or general manner of living. There is an ongoing awareness and concern for the welfare of others.

In either scenario, it certainly seems easier to be charitable when it is your choice. Organizing food and clothing drives, taking a senior to a doctor's appointment or making a donation to a meaningful charity can provide satisfaction, purpose and fulfillment.

No one is immune from hard times. It is rarely a deliberate choice, I believe, to be saddled with unexpected medical, financial or interpersonal hardships. Issues such as cancer, unemployment and domestic abuse are just a smattering of tragedies that show no societal discrimination.

Some of us appear more immune from the effects of hard times than others. For me, I assume an outer shell that allows me to see those I love and those students I teach as having issues greater than mine. I am forever placing life events in proper perspective and appreciating how blessed I truly am.

I readily admit the role that control plays in my life. I like when questions have answers. I appreciate when problems have possible solutions. I have a need to understand the whole picture. I can understand my role and do something ...

My family and close friends will vehemently agree that I allow plenty of down time in the control department. Raking, scrubbing and tears, accompanied by my energetic puppy, Andy, are typical ways that I express my helplessness and frustration about a situation.

Inner peace is regained during these frenzied activities. I am grateful that I have the energy to expend. I think of a brave woman, my dear sister-in-law, who is living each day with dignity, grace and purpose. I am inspired to draw from my inner strength and such powerful examples around me.

I have recognized a need to compose myself spirtually and emotionally when faced with a situation where getting well / feeling better soon are not options.

I have seen many individuals in pain or watching loved one's suffer and every response is so different. I am not convinced that one response is better than another.

When I focus on my composure, I am composed. This allows me to remove myself mentally from the equation and totally immerse myself into someone else/ or something tangible I can do instead. I become present for that person, truly listening to what they need from me.

Sometimes we need to be left alone. I respect that if I am being given verbal and non - verbal cues.

Sometimes, albeit rarely, we request an answer to a question. Most individuals are amazingly intuitive about themselves. As family, I always remember to do what that individual would want. As a nurse, I always maintain ethical boundaries and hope the best outcome occurs for each unique situation.

Some of the most meaningful encounters were ones where I say very little. Whenever possible, I use hand holding as a comfort and support, actually for both of us. Therapeutic and loving touch is more important than ever at these times.

Fellow nurse and dear friend, Gail Sobotkin (Happyboomernurse) shared the following remarkable nurse and her website with me when offering comfort about my sister-in-law.

Mary Landberg is a Hospice Nurse who uses photography of hands for healing. Her website, Hospice Portraits, shows some examples of 'hand portraits', which create powerful feelings of emotion, love and caring.

When we think about what we have the power of accomplishing with touch, holding someone's hand has a profound benefit. We can help someone feel alive, worthwhile and truly beautiful.

Songwriter: Bill Withers

Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tommorow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you won't let show

You just call on me brother, when you need a hand (Chorus)
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

Second Verse
Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

You just call on me brother, when you need a hand (Chorus)
We all need somebody to lean on
I just might have a problem that you'd understand
We all need somebody to lean on

If there is a load you need to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me


Lean On Me Lyrics © Interior Music Corp

In his "Best of Bill Withers" CD (2000), Withers describes his music: "We all have different rhythms and rhymes. Mine might be slower than one man's and faster than another's. All I know for sure is this: When I'm writing, I'm a conduit. A larger spirit is moving through me. All I can do is be open when that spirit starts to move."

I find this description from Withers to be both profound and relatable to my view of The Charitable Spirit.

C ~ compassion with care

H ~ hold the door; be polite

A ~ avoid the blame game

R ~ reach out if you can

I ~ imagine why people cry

T ~ take the time to look

A ~ awareness of strife

B ~ believe the best in others

L ~ lend a hand daily

E ~ entertain strangers

S ~ stop to smile and say hello

P ~ participation

I ~ involved in good cause

R ~ respecting the Golden Rule

I ~ isolation hurts

T ~ trust, hope and have faith...

© Maria Jordan (revised October, 2014)