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Pip Pop Hooray; Pip Pop Hooray; Acceptance Speeches

Updated on August 25, 2010

Thank you; thank you please call me Mahmoud; I am so thankful you recognized my humanitarian gesture in giving a military funeral to the man believed to be the last surviving planner of the terrorist attack on Israeli athletes at the Munich Olympics in 1972. I’m sure you will agree 1972 was a long time ago and honoring this great Palestinian patriot is akin to Scotland freeing his fellow freedom fighter known as the Lockerbie bomber. You may choose to call them murderers just because a few hundred died as a result of their heroic acts. You see the fact that our glorious mosque will be built in the very shadows of our greatest triumph and your president not only supports it but is financing our Imam’s trip overseas in order to raise the necessary funds to build it is proof positive your days are indeed numbered; infidels. The time is rapidly approaching where you will either succumb to Allah or as they say; off with the head; haaaa-haaa-haaa!

What sup Mother F--------------; I am Russell Simmons; the founder of the hip-hop label Def-Jam. First I’d like to announce the release of our newest sensation; Pants on the Ground; it goes pants on the ground pants on the ground you look like a fool with yo pants on the ground; gold in yo mouth hat turned around you going downtown with yo pants on the ground; YO! Well back to the moment; the perpetrators of the first World Trade Center attack in 1992 were Christians; It’s a little known fact they broke into the Blind Sheik’s office and dressed up as Muslims; then they drove him there, set off the explosives; and fled leaving him holding the bag. After they fled the explosion they reported to George Bush for further orders.

Jake Tepper here; what are you trying to do Pop get me fired. I want a Pop not a Pip; a Pip will cost me my job. I’m with Mahmoud and Russell; I misspoke; Nancy was right. Go Nancy go; go Nancy go; build that mosque near Ground Zero!

Hello, I’m Robert Gibbs but you can call me babbles. Our 2010 budget deficit is without a doubt the single greatest accomplishment thus far of this administration. If you believe in Keynesian economics then you gotta admit we blew the top off spending with this baby. Now granted we haven’t exactly set the house on fire with our jobs creation policies but just wait, they’re just around the corner. Once those small business realize it’s hopeless to fight us and out tax increases they will come around; what else are they gonna do close up shop and go where? Yep they will start hiring or else our good friends in the SIEU will pay them a visit; I DON’T THINK THEY WANT TO WAKE UP NEXT TO A SEVERED HORSE HEAD. Trust me; they will start hiring!

Whoops; wow Pop, like my good friend Jake; you’re making me mighty uncomfortable. If I, George Stephanopoulos, asked Maxine Waters tough questions, I assure you it was a mistake. Having faithfully served Bill Clinton, America’s first black president, faithfully for 8 years you know I would not willingly turn on one of his own; Ms. Waters. So, please, take your Pip back and replace it with my fifth Pop. I conducted a hard-hitting interview; wheeew weeee I gotta laugh at that one. Not since my last interview with George Bush have I actually thrown anything but softballs up!

That’s it ladies and gentleman; let’s have a big round of drinks so we can possibly wipe out any and all traces of these dispicables; make mine a double!

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    • profile imageAUTHOR

      Partisan Patriot 

      8 years ago

      sheri

      I heard the same thing; wonder how they would feel if the stones started flying around Hollywood and Vine or inside Fred Segals. Most likely they would suddenly become outraged. You see as long as it happens to the Bumpkins; well what’s a few Bumpkins in the overall scheme of things? These people are beyond revulsion; they truly are repulsive!

    • profile imageAUTHOR

      Partisan Patriot 

      8 years ago

      Jiberish

      Long time no see; you are so correct; usually you can’t fix Stupid but I hope we can rectify Stupid this November and again in 2012!

    • profile imageAUTHOR

      Partisan Patriot 

      8 years ago

      Thanks Pamela

      It is a really big Shooooooow; all we’re missing is Topo Gigio!

    • SheriSapp profile image

      SheriSapp 

      8 years ago from West Virginia

      Patriot,

      Last night I heard about an article in the NY Times (I think)about the "stoning" murder of a muslim woman. You know, those lefties who LOATHE passionately ANYTHING ANYONE says that could actually be opposed to THEIR twisted views, had the gall to MINIMIZE this incident. They said that as stoning does not happen often, it is really NO BIG DEAL!! WTF? I just think, if a republican came out and supported the practice of stoning, THAT republican would be called ALL manner of heinous things!! The MSM is BEYOND sick and twisted.

    • jiberish profile image

      jiberish 

      8 years ago from florida

      Ok, for sure now I have to investigate what they are putting in the water in DC and Hollywood, seems like you just can't fix stupid. Very Funny!

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      8 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Very funny. This is the show after the show. Funny hub for a sad situation otherwise.

    • profile image

      partisan patriot 

      8 years ago

      thanks eovery

      I'm glad I could inject a little humor into an otherwise tragic situation.

    • profile image

      partisan patriot 

      8 years ago

      pcoach

      If we don't take back at least the House in November we'll need more than a few rounds of drinks; we'll need a truck load!

    • profile image

      partisan patriot 

      8 years ago

      sheila b

      Would you be happy if you won an Obama; thanks for stopping in.

    • profile image

      partisan patriot 

      8 years ago

      snagerries

      Haven't seen you around here before; I hope you'll sign up as a fan and get notified everytime I write one of these. Either way thanks for the comment.

    • profile image

      partisan patriot 

      8 years ago

      Pop

      Rats tend to come out in the dark.

    • eovery profile image

      eovery 

      8 years ago from MIddle of the Boondocks of Iowa

      This is funny. I enjoyed

      Keep on hubbing!

    • profile image

      pcoach 

      8 years ago

      Great hub! We are gonna need an especially large round of drinks to wash all this down!

    • sheila b. profile image

      sheila b. 

      8 years ago

      I figured the winners of the pips wouldn't be happy about it.

    • snagerries profile image

      snagerries 

      8 years ago from Singapore

      Great hub. I really enjoyed your style of writing.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 

      8 years ago

      Dear patriot,

      Why is it the "winners" always have so much to say when the lights go out. We should call this hub the "After the Show Show".

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