Pip Pop go the Weasels Acceptance Speeches
Pop; do you really mean it; is this award for real? If so this is the first time since I left office almost 2 years ago now that someone has actually said something nice about me much less recognized a positive achievement of mine. Sure I kept America safe for 8 years and under me there was record low unemployment but according to most of America I was the scourge that left poor Barrackie Boo with an economic mess he and his team of wizards have yet to unravel. Anyway thank you so much for this award and I will cherish it as I cherish our fighting men and women that give their all so we may continue to be free! Oh by the way, Barrack didn’t participate; he said something about not wanting to take sides since this was a charitable event to raise money for our troops.
Get your stinking hands off me; I can make my own way to the stage. Do you think I can’t recognize a satirical set up when I see one? The only reason I’m here participating in these so called awards is this Pop is the first recognition I’ve received since Rosemary’s Baby back in the 60’s. Yes it’s been quite a dry spell for me acting wise so I have lots of free time on my hands to sit around and run my mouth about stupid things I have no idea of which I’m speaking. However you gotta admit it was clever of me to stay within the Satanical Theme since that’s the only thing I’m known for; I was great in Rosemary’s Baby wasn’t I? Anyway, thanks I think?
Hey Pop, what’s wrong with saying it’s a free country? I thought you conservatives were all about freedom. OK so we in Massachusetts are still stinging from loosing Ted’s Seat. It is still considered a sacrilege since the Kennedy Family bought and paid for the Arch Bishop’s selection so as to ward off any attempts at excommunication for outrageous behavior. Yeah it cost the Kennedys a fortune to pay for John’s womanizing, Bobby’s corruption and Ted’s Philandering! Anyway as a Democratic Governor it’s my place to criticize anything conservatives do and Glen Beck is as conservative as you can get. As for free speech; it’s OK provided you say what we want to hear. So I’ll take my Pop and proudly display it on my desk in the Governor’s Office; right next to my Deval Patrick name plate.
Hello everyone, I’m Donald Trump Jr.; here on behalf of my famous father Donald Trump Sr. My gorgeous sister was asked to come in his behalf but she was far too busy with a real job so I was chosen instead. So please call me Donny; everyone else does or Junior or Sonny or even Bubba. My father is well known for his outspokenness so for him to make that remark regarding the Muslims knocking down the World Trade Center came as no surprise to me. Sure Letterman was pissed but who cares; if he screws with my father he’ll buy the show and fire the no talent bum! But hey we’re not here to talk about Letterman are we? I humbly accept this award on behalf of my famous father and hope he’ll let me keep it so I can start my own trophy collection; this would be my first.
Will Mr. Mychal Massive please come to the stage; Mr. Mychal Massive, Mychal Massive? Sorry Mr. Massive seems to be nowhere to be found. Wait, here’s a special delivery; yes I’m Breakfast Pop and these are the Pip Pop Awards. OK I’ll sign for the package; Phew Weeeeeeee what’s that smell. Sorry folks this item I’ve just signed for seems to have quite a stench associated with it. Let’s see what it is; something wrapped in newspaper. It’s a dead fish with a note attached; Mychal Massive Sleeps with the fishes; signed Reverend Al. I guess there will be no debate after all.
Well, that concludes our program so if you all will quickly exit the rear of the building the cleanup crew can immediately start with this fish!