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Pond Scum AKA Algae Is The Answer To Our Energy Prayers

Updated on February 27, 2012

Time To Turn Right So To Speak...We Need Help, Not Kelp!

Gets More Bizarre By The Day! President Pond Scum Says...

Extra, extra read all about it. President Obama has the answer to our fuel problems. Thass right folks and this guy is once again showing his brilliance in all its radiant glory. What you talkin' about FP? The answer to our prayers about lower fuel prices are going to be answered by President Pond Scum (oops! I mean Obama) because did you know that we grow that right here in this country, along with people stupid enough to vote for Obama. The magical, mystical cure is algae, also known affectionately as pond scum. Did you know that you can also distill that and make one kick ass cider? Maybe that's what Obama's been drinking as he's thinking. Or at least trying to.

Rumor has it here on the internet that we just may be in for the treat of having us a new Pond Scum Czar to make this fairy tale happen too. I'm wondering who he might have in mind. Maybe Bill Clinton? He was known to be a scum bag now and then. Lurking somewhere back there in the shadows is sure to be a campaign contribution bundler who has has heavy investments in the magical pond scum business. Kind of akin to the ones he funneled our tax dollars to the last time he went green and they went to bankruptcy court. No, I haven't forgotten the list of companies which continues to grow. This might have the makings of a hot stock tip but I'll have to check on the insider info with Nancy Pelosi. I wonder if her marsh mice eat this stuff.

I Can See Him In There Now

He was just down in Coral Gables selling that wolf ticket. Jeez, the guy should go on the comedy circuit when we boot him to the curb in 2012. He and Jimmie Carter can team up and bill themselves as the "One Term Failure Act." This is what he actually said the other day, " We're making new investments in the development of gasoline and diesel and jet fuel that's actually made from a plant-like substance, algae. You got a bunch of algae out here, right? If we can figure out how to make energy out of that, well, we'll be doing all right." Yes of wise one and if we figured out how to put wings on a frog he wouldn't bump his butt when he hops! He's beginning to prove to me that's he's certifiable.

He might be bordering on the intelligence level of a nuclear scientist! I swear it's true. Can't you just feel the glow that surrounds the man? When you read that part about "investments" just translate that quickly in your mind to more excessive, wasteful spending of the tax payer's dollars (that's the 'we' part) chasing more pipe dreams. Notice the "if we figured out how" part of that sentence? But then he went on. Check this out and I quote, "Believe it or not we could replace up to 17% of the oil that we import for transportation with this fuel that we can grow right here in America." Has anyone informed him that we are exporting American oil at this particular time which is making our fuel prices sky rocket because of some of his idiotic energy policies. I don't believe a word the guy says so...

It's Either This Or A Chevy Volt?

In a nut shell this IS the answer to all our prayers, you know like he was supposed to be. It's all about pond scum you see. How were the rest of us so stupid that we missed the obvious that only The One can see? He continued in his infantile way of mocking "Drill, drill, drill." Now it's gonna be "skim, skim, skim?" According to Oblabber Mouth that isn't the answer. He said that would take two or three years. The Hub I wrote the other day addresses that more in depth if you happened to miss it. I will from here evermore be looking at pond scum in a whole different light after listening to that nonsense.

Where did he go next? Being a campaign speech this is what he then served up, "Now, some politicians, they see this as a political opportunity. I know you're shocked by that. Last week the lead story in one newspaper said: 'Gasoline prices are on the rise and Republicans are licking their chops.' That's a quote. That was the lead. Licking their chops. Only in politics do people root for bad news, do they greet bad news so enthusiastically. You pay more, their licking their chops." Good God Almighty, I can't believe the Campaigner-In-Chief let his teleprompter utter those words. Akin to "Republicans want you to die" or how about "they want to push Grandma off the cliff?' Obama is a head case for sure.

All this political party nonsense is just positioning. I hope you partisan types grasp that, but I know you do. So let me see if I have this right Obama. What is good for America is bad for the Democratic Party and vice versa? The reason I'll check that bag at the door is rather simple. When gas prices were going up in 2008 wasn't it the Democrats who were gleefully extolling how this was good for them and bad for the Republicans? Seems the shoe is on the other foot now so it's different you see. Political smoke and mirrors are Obama's forte so remember that in November.

Change? If You Have Any Left By Then You'll Be Lucky!

But it got even more comical in a sick way when he went on with this, "You can bet that, since this is an election year, they're already dusting off their three-point plan for two dollar gas. And I'll save you the suspense. Step one is to drill and step two is to drill. And then step three is to keep on drilling. We heard the same line in 2007 when I was running for president. We've heard the same thing for 30 years. Well, the American people aren't stupid. They know that's not a plan." Obama, anyone who believes anything you said that day is stupid, the rest of us "get it." The part that you left out is that your party has continually blocked attempts to increase domestic production for the past thirty years. How convenient to leave out the facts of the matter. Where does he think oil comes from and how we get to the surface? It's called Drill, Baby, Drill.

You know I actually had fun writing this because sometimes Obama is hysterical, especially when his teleprompter gets brain cramps. And he keeps telling anyone that will listen, "They don't know what they're talking about?" Oh really? Let me close with the video I used on yesterday's Hub about the price of gasoline and Obama. I keep hearing this administration talk about how the US has 2% of the world's oil reserves which is an outright lie. Watch the video please and learn something.

Now This Man Does Know What He's Talking About

I can see it now folks. The new bumper stickers are coming:

"Reelect President Pond Scum in 2012"

He seems to have an answer for everything while always saying nothing.

Do me a favor and share this thorughout your network. Everybody needs a good chuckle at leat once a day.

As Always,

The Frog Prince


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    • nicomp profile image

      nicomp really 5 years ago from Ohio, USA

      Remember with Bush it was switchgrass? At least his administration didn't give billions in weed subsidies.

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

      tom - Now that might be a problem when Obamacare kicks in. One of the death panels might see it differently!


    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 5 years ago from home


      id be worried- your sister may have some issues... she may want to get a cat scan or MRI....*ha*


    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

      American Romance - Competition for ponds? Obama will want to kill that idea quickly. That's the capitalist way my friend.

      Wayne - I have a friend that explained to me that during his past career he saw many novel ideas but the amount of energy you had to expend to produce a small amount of energy killed that idea deader than a door nail. What if is usually what if.

      tom and Sis - You both said the same thing with different words. Spot on.

      tsadjatko - I nominate Slime Ball Clinton. He's just greasy enough to get the job done.

      Joshua - Google fracking and you'll read some of the myths.

      The Frog

    • profile image

      Joshua 5 years ago

      could not agree more the only setback is making sure that , in fracking which is how they get oil from shale we are not pumping in chemicals into our water table that can be harmful.

    • tsadjatko profile image

      TSAD 5 years ago from maybe (the guy or girl) next door

      As Rush says,

      "Now, this needs a czar. We need a pond scum czar, and that means we need somebody slimy. I think Obama could probably find a lot of slimy people to be pond scum czar. Bill Maher would fit the bill. Any number of people probably would."

    • Angela Blair profile image

      Angela Blair 5 years ago from Central Texas

      Good Lord what is this guy going to "invent" next -- there's so much "watch this hand" going on it's hard to keep up! I have noticed that we no longer have American flags in the president's office -- wonder what caused that? Maybe these old eyes are truly failing me now! Best/Sis

    • tom hellert profile image

      tom hellert 5 years ago from home

      Frog -Bait N Switch Dont look at what Ive done look at what I want to do...

      In fact ignore everything I have done and listen to what BO has thought about. Its not the results its the intentions


    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 5 years ago from Texas

      Yes...if we could only find a way...many things would be possible most of which has little to do with spending the taxpayers money but more to do with physics and our own lack of knowledge than anything else. Hell, hydrogen is known to have alternative fuel qualities but at what cost in terms of the vehicle that burns it? Here again is an example of a man who cannot mention his miserable record but instead attempts to demonstrate his vision and foresight by offering up utopian dreams all designed to break the financial back of America...AR has it right. You better find another way to power a lab burner before you start cooking pond scum for fuel. Well done,Frog! WB

    • American Romance profile image

      American Romance 5 years ago from America

      I am purchasing ponds up as fast as I can get my hands on them! I just found a website where one can get government grants to grow more scum and employee up to 1 person per 40,000 acres of scum to drive a boat around with rakes hanging off the back to collect it and turn it into fuel! Whoopeeeee for me! The best news it will only take 300 million cubic feet of natural gas, and 3 barrells of oil to cook the scum into 1 gallon of gasoline!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 5 years ago

      Let's face it, the solution to our energy crisis is anything but oil or gas. It's electric cars, windmills, algae and I think corn on the cob. Is this Disney World and if it is how can I go home? Up and awesome and shared.

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Fred - Got you're brain cells swimming around in there again did I?


    • profile image

      Ghost32 5 years ago

      Ah, the Jobs Plan at last! The new skill sets required (public, of course, on your tax dime, duh):

      1. Scum Skimmer (Levels 1, 2, and 3).

      2. Algae analyst.

      3. Photsynthesis Pharaoh

      And on, and on, and on....

      To the Moon! (Voted)

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Lynn - We'll ask him.

      The Frog

    • profile image

      Lynn S. Murphy 5 years ago

      All I can think of is ScumDogLord. Maybe Ghost can do a rap....

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 5 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Stu - Using Obalogic the possibilities are endless. "If we can figure out how" that is.

      The Frog

    • profile image

      Stu 5 years ago

      Frog - I can just see it now. The AFL will form the United Algae Workers union, and all the jobs will go to illegals and able bodied but unpaid algae. Then the algae will file a civil rights complaint for exploitation without compensation, and we'll have to set up an "Algae Settlement Fund" to make the algae whole. Meanwhile, the algae will be pursuing another suit in federal court charging the AFL with labor law violations from collecting forced dues in Right To Work states. The illegals may join them, having fake US ID's courtesy of ACORN. Given the risks here, it may be safer to go to windmill powered cars. We'll need new regulations forcing parking garages to have higher clearances, but how much could it possibly cost to retrofit a few hundred thousand parking garages?

    • poetvix profile image

      poetvix 5 years ago from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country.

      If there is a way to waste more money by doing less good, he will find it!

    • vrajavala profile image

      vrajavala 5 years ago from Port St. Lucie

      Some of major oil companies are doing this algae research. Maybe the dear "scum" prez would like to mandate that oil from algae be the only kond to be used on Air Farce Uno.

      Otherwise, he needs to shut up.

    • tsadjatko profile image

      TSAD 5 years ago from maybe (the guy or girl) next door

      Didn't need his opinion on algae to know that that this president favors the scum of the earth.

    • Stigma31 profile image

      Stigma31 5 years ago from Kingston, ON

      Interesting article, voting up mainly due to the last video. Very informative.