Pornography's Negative Impact on Men
The Creation of Monsters
Ariel Castro who kidnapped and imprisoned three women (who were actually children at the time Castro kidnapped them) in his Cleveland home for ten years and used them as sex slaves said while pleading guilty to almost 1000 charges against him that "My addiction to pornography...took a toll on my mind." Obviously. Would he have done what he did if he never had access to pornography? We'll never know, but maybe. Will every man who becomes addicted to pornography do what he did? Of course not. But there are some obvious ways that a porgnoraphy addiction would compel and exacerbate these kinds of crimes against humanity.
None of this is to excuse Ariel Castro or others like him from accepting the responsibility and consequences of their actions. Ariel Castro was a monster, and the world is better off without him - he committed suicide within a few months of his incarceration, apparently unable to tolerate even a fragment of what he put the young girls he captured and imprisoned through. But I believe that whether or not society makes people (and monsters) what they are, society certainly decides how to deal with its monsters. Social acceptance of pornography as normal makes it much easier for a monster like Castro to remain ignored and anonymous in this culture for such a long period of time, because it normalizes monstrous behavior and ideas and therefore camoflauges those who actually act on those ideas.
Those who become aroused by pornography and make a habit out of associating sexual pleasure with sexual violence are eventually going to want to play out their fantasies in the real world. If a man masturbates to media portraying domination, exploitation, imprisonment, torture and of course rape of women or children, eventually he is going to desire to live out his sexual fantasies in the real world. How far this goes probably has a lot to do with how much of an inner sadistic drive that individual man possesses, but his sexual fantasies become a part of his real-life sexuality whether he wants them to or not. They don’t need to be his fantasies to begin with, but the fantasies are repeatedly suggested to him, and as his addiction to pornography grows he increasingly adopts those fantasies as his own.
Pornography Addiction Destroys the Potential for a Full and Healthy Experience of One's Sexuality
This is why all porn sites have advertisements targeting men with erectile dysfunction. You might ask what a man with erectile dysfunction is doing surfing porn sites to begin with? The answer is that the high speed internet pornography of today causes erectile dysfunction in men, because it creates a feedback loop which works much like drug addiction, where an individual's response to stimuli is reduced more and more as more and more bingeing occurs. In pornography there is no caressing, no sensuality, no courtship dance, no empathy, no love and no humanity. There is no foreplay. Pornography is all about penetration. Healthy human lovemaking on the other hand, is full of all of these things.
Women, please choose the answer below which most closely matches your perspective on pornography.
So when a pornography addict finds himself with a consenting sexual partner in the real world who wants to engage in the wide range of activities inherent in the slow build of healthy human lovemaking, he is so used to the hyperstimulation he experiences from his addiction to hardcore high speed internet pornography which focuses exclusively on penetration after penetration after penetration, he finds himself unable to participate in healthy human lovemaking. His inner fantasies no longer consist of the circumstances around successful courtship, or the excitement of breaking through the erotic taboos leading up to lovemaking; such as the excitement of getting naked with another person; instead his fantasies are centered around penetration exclusively; and in many cases, sexual violence as well. And since he is no longer so aroused by the normally erotic activities involved in the slow build of healthy human lovemaking, he has no way of preparing his flaccid penis for penetration; and thus often-times cannot even accomplish that pitiful, totally self-serving and much less satisfying toxic mimic of what healthy human lovemaking out to be; which has been the norm since the beginning of time prior to the invention of pornographic videos.
Men, please select the answer which most closely matches your opinion of pornography. Don't worry, it's 100% anonymous.
So pornography addiction causes erectile dysfunction in those males who refuse in the real world to be the perpetrators of sexual violence. Not every guy who watches slasher horror movies is going to go out and murder women, and likewise not every man who watches pornography is going to go out and intentionally do violence to women. But the fact that a pornography addict is watching video of real sexual assault as a means of sexual arousal proves that his fantasies include sexual violence - whether those fantasies existed prior to his introduction to pornography or not, the fantasies of the pornography addict are profoundly effected by the "boundary pushing" sexual abuse that is always depicted in pornography. These men are so used to hyperstimulating images of penetration and sexualized violence that they cannot fully engage in normal human intimacy, and they may forget the differences between normal sexuality and the sexuality proposed, condoned and demonstrated by pornographers - if they are old enough to have ever known the difference in the first place. In other words, pornography, as it emphasizes and attempts to eroticize highly unequal power dynamics and sexual violence (which can cause a man who becomes addicted to pornography and is therefore repeatedly exposing himself to images of sexualized violence and linking those depictions of sexual violence in his brain with the reward chemical releases triggered by orgasm) replaces all of that wide range of activities in the subtly and healthily erotic lead-up to normal human love-making with its sexualization of violence and extreme inequality between (or in more sickening cases among) sexual partners.
Is There Life After Porn? Is There Healing After Porn Addiction? Can I Get My Potential Back?
From here, there seem to be three courses an individual can take. One is to give up on real world sex and allow pornography to continue to completely dominate his sexuality, as many men do. Another is to introduce the sexualized violence of the pornography he enjoys into his real world sex life in order to arouse himself enough to achieve real-world penetration without all that healthy human sexuality which he finds so monotonous and boring, and another is to recognize the addictive cycle and the effects it is having on his mind, body and soul and to break that cycle. And for those unfortunate young men who have grown up with high speed internet pornography as their chief form of sexual education - if they think they like the toxic mimic of human sexuality; they should try the real thing - natural, healthy human lovemaking as it was meant to be and as it has been since the beginning of time.
The butterflies in the stomach, the warmth of intimate and gentle touching, the extreme excitement and allure of mutual attraction and mutual enjoyment; the ecstasy of giving and seeing first hand how much one’s gifts please and satisfy one’s partner. Healthy human lovemaking is a beautiful, incredible and wonderful thing to experience. I hope you get to try it someday, but first, you have to put down the pornography. Get rid of it. Associate it in your mind with hatred and degradation of women, men and all human beings. It’s corporate trash, stealing your full potential for enjoyment out of a big chunk of your life - because it’s not only your sex life that a pornography addiction impacts, it’s how you relate to fully half of the human population on planet earth. Put the pornography away for several months, and try making love again with a clear mind and curious spirit; and see where that takes you. I’m sure you young men out there will find some truly beautiful places that you never knew existed.
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