Post Cards from the Vineyard, Friday August 25, 2011
Wellllllllll uuuuuhhhh, how do you like me now? I’m sure you have all heard of my proposal to streamline hundreds of government regulations which the Republicans have been whining about for the past year. Now let me warn you up front; they will immediately cry it’s not nearly enough; it’s just a drop in the bucket; the ten Billion my proposal will save over the next 5 years only equals the $9.5 billion in new regulatory costs added just in July of this year. Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah that’s what they’ll be saying but I’m telling you it’s a start and a good one; after all just because the Senate and House failed to enact Cap and Trade during the period my Regime controlled all three branches of government doesn’t mean we can’t push it through with EPA Regulations. And like I’ve pointed out before just think of all those compliance officers companies will be forced to hire just to keep up with my new regulations. Yesireeeeeeee, new regulations mean new jobs so don’t listen to those Republicans listen to ABC, CBS, NBC, MSNBC, CNN, Oprah, the View and my old reliable Chris Mathews, they will confirm what I’m telling you!
Before I hit the golf course there’s just a few more things I wish to say about this; those House and Senate conservatives are reviving their battle against federal regulations; claiming that I’ve continued to issue job-killing rules during the debt ceiling fight while they along with the American public have been focused on the debt ceiling! Well nothing could be further from the truth; fact is my Regime has been increasing these regulations since Cap and Trade bill failed to pass the Senate in May of 2009, long before the debt ceiling debate came front and center; since then my EPA has increased the size of the Federal Register to 49,000 pages covering everything from paint to dust, cement to cars and medicine to livestock. Just think of all the new compliance officers these companies will have to hire just to digest and comply with 49,000 pages of regulations.
Now one more thing before I head for the links; whatta you think about this new idea I’ve come up with to punish companies that move out of the country just to avoid paying their fair share in taxes. It goes something like this any company that moves its corporate headquarters off shore just so it can increase profits by refusing to pay their Patriotic Fair Share the CEO of that company will be thrown in Jail; that’s right thrown in jail. We’ll call it the Patriotic Incarceration Fair Share Act. I can’t take full credit for this idea; it came up in yesterday’s discussion with my Fair Share Czar Karl Marx the VIII!
Ok, Uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh gotta go for now; I’m meeting the head of the Muslim Brotherhood at 1pm for a round of golf. He says he has some ideas about the transfer of power in Libya since the fall of Quadaffi; see I told you my opening up to the Arab World was a good thing.