Post Cards from the Vineyard Tuesday August 23, 2011
Hello again from the Vineyard; uuuuuuuhhh I am pleased to report Michele, Sasha, Milia and I are having a wonderful time on your dime. Also I can unequivocally tell you that after a summer of setbacks for the economy and job market is headed for a September reset. How can I be so sure you ask; do the statistics point to it; weeeeeeeeeeellllllll no, it’s just a gut feeling I have!
Now as you all know, the 2012 campaign is in full swing and the Republican field is ramping up their rhetoric against me. They will do everything they can to keep this economy from recovering which is why I’m speaking with you today. I want each and every one of you to tell your representatives to quit standing in the way of our recovery; quit blaming the president when we all know its George Bush’s fault.
Now here’s the deal; you want jobs; the housing market to recover; the stock market to climb again; the answer is simple. More Government Regulations and higher taxes is what we need. Why should those among us who are already suffering; the 51% that don’t make enough money to pay any taxes at all; the 1 out of 7 of you that are presently on food stamps; the 408,000 of you that filed last Friday for first time unemployment; why should you suffer more. Uuuuuuuuuuh you shouldn’t and under my plan you won’t.
I’ve heard some criticism in regards to my most recent Midwest Mystery Tour which stopped in Minnesota, Iowa, and Illinois, three states I carried in the last election. Some have even compared the black armored bus; Ground Force I to Darth Vader’s Death Star. I know this has been a scary summer for a lot of people and most of my actions have made it even scarier; oooooooppps scratch that last line! What I meant to say was if all we're doing is the same posturing; then how do we expect things to change. As you all know, with the help of my friends in the media over the next few weeks I believe I can convince you the Republicans have got to change while those of us in my Regime can keep up the assault and convince you we need more of the same except for a new tax increase!
In closing I just want to remind all of you, upon my return to the White House following this well deserved vacation, I plan to unveil my new jobs proposal which as most of you have guessed will be more of the same, plus a massive new Tax Increase; the reason it will work this time is the media has assured me it will ramp up their attacks on all that oppose it leaving them savaged and bleeding in the ditch. This time I will prevail!
Well gotta go for now, Michele and the girls are waiting for me to go to the most exclusive place on the Vineyard for lunch; in his wildest dreams my father would not have imagined his son, Barrack Hussein Obama would be dining with his family on $200 dollar a lb. lobsters; of course he would be proud of me that America was paying for it!