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Postcards from the Vineyard, Saturday August 20, 2011

Updated on August 20, 2011

Hello, my uuuuuuuuuhhhhhh fellow Americans, Barrack here; I just wanted to pop in on this first day following my absence from this current Stock Market Crash and assure all of you it’s not my fault. Those greedy Republican investors are purposely pulling their money out of the market just to make me look bad; me Barrack Hussein Obama the first African American President. So what I’m saying is yes it’s just because I’m black and they’re all racists that they refuse to allow this economy to grow and expand. Well it’s also that little thing where I’ve threatened to raise taxes and confiscate; I uuuuuuuhhhhh mean make them pay their fair share so those less fortunate can have more!

But enough about that, I wanted to thank you for once again sending me, Michele, Sasha and Malia back to the Vineyard. I know it may seem a little bit extravagant during this current period of suffering but It was necessary for us to also bring along Air Force 2 in order to accommodate the 70 Secret Service personnel who accompanied us to insure we were safe and cared for at all times. Air Force 1 and 2 only used 95,000 gallons of jet fuel for this trip and their combined operating costs of only $23,000 per hour is well worth it when you consider how lonely the kids would be up here without their dog Bo who also flew on Air Force 2.

But back to the uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh business at hand, rest assured I will be working night and day during the next 10 days to get this economy up and running again. I know times are hard and millions of you are struggling to put food on the table and trying to make ends meet. But remember if it weren’t for me you wouldn’t have those food coupons with which to buy that food; so I think those of you that are enjoying the benefits of my administration; the 1 in 7 that are presently on food stamps should turn and thank those other 6 individuals still willing to work so that you can continue to eat; uuuuuuhhhh in most cases better than they do!

Some of you may question why I need a uuuuuuuuuhh 15-vehicle motorcade to escort me to and from Blue Heron Farm in Chilmark, where we previously stayed in 2010 and 2009 and will be staying this year also. Well that’s why I’m the President and you are you; how else can I take proper notice of all those rich people up here on the Vineyard so I’ll know exactly whose taxes not to raise. You see those other 14 vehicles are loaded with stenographers recording names, dates and times of all those rich people up here hob knobbing with me so upon my return to Washington we’ll send out the notices to everyone else requesting them to pay their fair share except my friends and supporters. Kinda like we did with the Obama Care Exemptions; we traded exemptions to all those unions and others that supported me in that endeavor!

Sorry but I really must go for now; there’s golf to be played; extravagant dinners for Michele and I as well as reading and beach time; I just bought a new copy of Mein Kamph which I’m looking forward to tearing into. So bye-bye for now from Michele, Sasha, Malia, Bo and me; thanks again for this wonderful vacation and remember when you’re feeling down and out just watch the news and you can live vicariously through me and my family, I’m sure you’ll feel better in no time!


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    • Average American profile image

      Average American 6 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

      Oddly, Barrack, you seem a bit defensive? You have to remember, you're the top dog my "brotha". I mean, sure I'm White but we are all brothers in Muhammad right?

      As for the economy, hey, what the hell should we have expected from a guy who never ran so much as a hot dog stand in all his years of community organizing? And hey, good call on Libya. So now what? I don't suppose you have a plan on where it goes from here by chance? I hear Thom Hartman is giving you full credit for the Arab Spring since your trip to Egypt last year. Guess he forgot George W. Bush foresaw this very thing several years earlier when he said the people of the Middle East would soon awake and throw off the bonds of tyranny and throw the dictators out. But good for you for having your lackys in line in media. I think we all know you never would have had a chance to set your pompous ass in the Oval Office without them... Enjoy the vacation. I know we all feel safer with you out of Washington for a few weeks. Now if you can just stay out of the public eye for a bit people might forget all the damage you have done. Have fun. I know I wrote my check to the IRS this morning so you should have enough to fire up Air Force 1, 2 and 3 and take the kids for ice cream in Vermont or something...

      Patriot, Great Hub.

    • SheriSapp profile image

      SheriSapp 6 years ago from West Virginia


      What can I say? These are probably the thoughts in Barry's vacuous head, but he would NEVER givew them voice. Thankfully, we have you to do that for us.

    • handymanbill profile image

      Bill 6 years ago from western pennsylvania

      OK this was a fine Hub. But lets be honest here. Most common people are trying to keep food on the table and cloths on our children backs. Sure other presidents have taken lots of vacations. That would be expected. But the big problem is not when there are so many people out of work. Not when things have looked so bad. This man does not understand how bad this looks. You have got to believe that he really is not realistic about what the common American person thinks every time you turn around here he is taking off somewhere lavishly spending our tax dollars while unemployment gets worse, the price of living keeps climbing. Wow it must be nice. This man is suppose to be the smartest President we ever had . What a joke he is.

    • sheila b. profile image

      sheila b. 6 years ago

      Funny, just before coming on hubpages I read an article about Obama travelling with a caravan of 24 and I wondered - why? Does he really need all of those people with him, or is this a perk for his friends? I'm going to search for articles about the Clintons vacations.

    • profile image

      Partisan Patriot 6 years ago


      I for one wish he would stay out of Washington and OFF TV!!!!!!!!!!

    • profile image

      Partisan Patriot 6 years ago

      Old Pool Guy

      Let's hope His Majesty will ailienate enough of them to loose a few votes next time around; but you are sooooo right his presence means less enjoyment for the common man!

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 6 years ago

      Although we all know that he belongs in Washington working and not golfing, I have begun to think it's better when he is not around. Up and awesome.

    • profile image

      Old Poolman 6 years ago

      I'll also bet that others who unfortunately chose this same week for their vacation at this location are less than pleased with his highness being there. For security reasons every building his highness enters is closed to everyone else. That could sure spoil a vacation for the common folk.

    • profile image

      Partisan Patriot 6 years ago

      Thanks Froggy

      If this weren't so infurrating it may very well be humerous; the in your face of it all that is!

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 6 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Yes well lets not the 50K a week rent his Obalbberness is staying in while there.

      Good read and spot on.

      The Frog

    • profile image

      Partisan Patriot 6 years ago

      You are so right old Pool guy; if this Regime gets 4 more years there won't be anything left to bring back; America will be left in the ashes of Socialism!

    • profile image

      Partisan Patriot 6 years ago

      Thanks tony0

      But what this clown is doing to the country is no laughing matter even though I did try and work a little humor in this hub!

    • tony0724 profile image

      tony0724 6 years ago from san diego calif

      OK Patriot ! This was kinda funny !Props on the hub here.

    • profile image

      Old Poolman 6 years ago

      Great Hub, we have to find someone, anyone, who can beat this idiot in the next election or we are all doomed. I loved the way you described this Royal Vacation.

    • profile image

      Partisan Patriot 6 years ago

      Thanks Big John

      He really does see himself as Royalty and we as his mere subjects!

    • WhatBigJohnThinks profile image

      WhatBigJohnThinks 6 years ago

      Well stated. Let's all agree this is Obama's final "meal" politically. I, along with every American, are struggling with finances and daily pitfalls engineered by his administration. The audacity you and I speak of (read my hub "The President of the United States...J. Wellington Wimpy") is prevelent in his everyday life. What I can't believe is that no one is challenging his decisions and especially this vacation. To go on this oh so expensive and lavish get-away is preposterous. This is truly the "King" squashing his subjects. I can't wait till the political ads appear at the end of this year for the 2012 elections. Who ever is advising this guy is a boob. but then again he is the one doing it.


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