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Privatize Everything

Updated on October 28, 2010

Privatize This!

I just had the most brilliant idea! I was thinking about the issue of what services government should provide, and I came up with this awesome inspiration! After giving this matter extensive thought, I think that we should privatize everything the government does today!

Think about it! Wouldn't it be just awesome if we could tell all the generals they are no longer in the employ of the United States Government, but they had been transferred to the employment of the arms industry? We would no longer need to argue over how much of the Federal budget should be devoted to nuclear weapons versus social services.

Social Security? Forget it! It's gone! Everyone should just fend for themselves, and that's a great idea because those financial wizards on Wall Street (you know, the ones who know everything there is to know about finances) will be in charge. Who needs financial regulators? We live in the great U.S. of A.! The purest free market economy in the world! Without laws to regulate what is appropriate for the captains of industry to do, why they should be able to make so much money, and as we all know, when we let the rich get richer, of course they will allow some of the profits trickle down to the rest of us. They're such a compassionate bunch, you know!

Health care? We'll let the insurance industry run that show. It's in their interest to have as many people covered as possible, isn't it? So of course they will be benevolent leaders and only charge us what is fair.

Let's see, who would agree with this idea? I have to guess that Sharon Angle would think this is an awesome idea. After all, with the military disbanded, all her supporters would be free to lock and load to pursue those "Second Amendement remedies" without fear of stepping on the military's toes.

All those right wing militia groups should be able to breathe a great big sigh of relief too. After all, aren't most of them training for the day that the vaunted United States military launches an attack against them? Without a military, they would become the bad boys!

The best part about this plan is that in less than a week, you will have the opportunity to implement it. On Tuesday, November 2, 2010, if you like this plan pull the lever and vote for any candidate with an R next to his or her name. They'll cut your taxes so low that they won't be able to pay for anything, except their salaries, of course.


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    • crashcromwell profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Florida

      I am hoping for a Harry Truman-like surprise next week. So many of the so-called experts have been predicting for the past year that the Dems were going to take big hits this year that it feels almost like it is a foregone conclusion we will lose both houses of Congress. I would love to see those pundits sitting in their chairs with their tongues lolling out trying to explain how things did not turn out to be so bad. Americans are angry, no doubt, and they have been for years. But are they so angry that they would want to elect people so far out on the fringe as these Tea Partiers? I hope not, but we'll have an idea on Tuesday!


    • LRCBlogger profile image


      8 years ago

      Rand Paul, Sharon Angle, and pretty much any candidate supported by the TEA party will enact your vision above. Their vision of America is one which closely resembles the wild west....scary stuff.

    • crashcromwell profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Florida

      William F., I am pleased you see the value in this proposal. Isn't it genius?

      SweetiePie, how could you possibly suggest that those hard-working CEOs should be paid less than their fair share. After all, they must work awfully hard for their millions!

      William R., is that a thinly veiled reference to Marie Antoinette? Your comment did make me contemplate what should be done with all the enemies of the corporate state who will be forced from office. Should they be tried as war criminals? I'll have to think on that one....

      Jim Henry

    • William R. Wilson profile image

      William R. Wilson 

      8 years ago from Knoxville, TN

      As long as I can have cake.

    • SweetiePie profile image


      8 years ago from Southern California, USA

      Great use of satire, but of course I was told how mean I was to suggest that corporate CEO's make a few less million dollars per year.

    • William F. Torpey profile image

      William F Torpey 

      8 years ago from South Valley Stream, N.Y.

      Brilliant idea, crashcromwell. If we privatize everything we won't even have to vote anymore. The corporations will take care of us. Think of it: No military, no Welfare, No unemployment, no Social Security, No Medicare. But we may have to amend the U.S. Constitution to change the premamble from "We the people" to "We the Corporations."


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