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Rape Hypocrisy

Updated on September 19, 2014
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Bombshell: Men get raped too

Just the thought of men getting raped is a topic society either doesn't take seriously or dismisses. This isn't about going into and comparing various sources of data or playing the bigger victim card, it's just about bringing some attention to these serious issues that are not treated as such. Here's some incredibly basic facts; men exist, women exist, rape exists. With me still? Men have raped women, women have raped men. So based on that, would I expect one side to have a monopoly on the narrative? If I didn't know better I would absolutely be shocked. But I know there is no concern for the lack of attention in showing men as victims and women as aggressors. But the sad fact is that some men have been raped. Yes, it's true. The sadder fact is that the dialogue in this country has stipulated that we are only allowed to talk about how to stop men from raping women. Some might go so far as to even say it's sexist to talk about male rape victims.

Prison rape

Prison rape is an area I think gets far too little attention for both men and women. I honestly don't hear much about shedding light on it nearly as often as I hear about how men raping women being the only problem. There is some data out there that points to more men being sexually assaulted in prison than women are out of prison, I'll leave it to you to look up. My point is that this is yet another area where men get so little attention with regard to being raped. There is no good reason for this either. It's rape, that has to be enough for it to be taken seriously. But how is male prison rape portrayed in the media? Well, apparently it's hilarious. Many movies and jokes about prisons and men getting raped are supposed to be funny, not taken seriously at all. If in modern times there was a mentality that you can make open jokes about not dropping the soap and make light of rape if women were the victims, I'm the sure outrage would be much greater and the feminists would have that one of their talking points with their "rape culture".

Rationalizations

So what excuses do we give for only having one narrative on rape? Well, if we can get past hearing it's sexist to want to talk about the other side, I hear that it's because women are the victims far more often. There is a lot of data out there that is designed to mislead in order to perpetuate that same narrative I keep mentioning. But if you really look into the quality unbiased data and include prisons, men being raped is certainly not rare. For the sake of argument, can we imagine a scenario where women are only the victims of something a small percentage of the time and society just says we shouldn't care that much because there isn't that many of them? That rationalization would never be in the mainstream, it would be denounced as sexist and suppressed. There's no need to rationalize, let's just not act like it's only possible for one gender to be a victim and to only focus one line of thinking. It becomes very closed minded to shut out one side and only be concerned with who it happened to as opposed to what happened.

More questions

There are other questions that come to mind that we don't think about or would never apply the other way around. If a man has sex with a woman while intoxicated and later regrets the sex, would we ever consider he was raped? Would we ever say that since women also enjoy sex, it's less of a big deal when they get raped? How about not assuming that a man automatically raped a women just because of the accusation? Can we ever consider that a woman might use sex as a weapon and they know that a false rape accusation is basically a guilty conviction in the eyes of the public? Shouldn't we admit that male rapes are likely underreported due to a stigma of embarrassment and the of reluctance to believe men are victims? Clearly rape is a serious issue with many angles. Women being raped by men should not be the only perspective to have in order to have prejudice against men and generate power through victimization. All legitimate sexual violence victims should be acknowledged accordingly, and that includes men.

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    • mdscoggins profile image

      Michelle Scoggins 

      4 years ago from Fresno, CA

      Thank you ActuallyBrilliant for exposing the concept that rape is a two way street. It certainly does happen to men but like you said is likely under reported due to stigma. I never thought about comparing male prison rape statistics to the social stats of male-female rape. I could imagine that prison rape is very high and also under reported due to coercion. I really enjoyed this article.

    • repoprimo profile image

      Gary 

      4 years ago from California

      Thank you for your Hub. I have been acknowledging this topic, from a different angle, both on my blog and more recently here on Hubpages. I would like to invite you to visit the blog, if you get time... It's a years worth of writing on Sexual Assault in the military. It is my blog, where I highlight both actual victims, but have matters in the archives that outlines my journey as a victim. In the post titled: "Hazing and Sexual Assault in the Military," I share my own story on video.

      I agree that socially, Men have been mostly ignored, as is the effects upon men, that comes from domestic violence and most significantly Male Rape.

      One thing you may wish to be mindful of; is the occurrence of "Male on Male" rape is very high; both in public life and in the Military. So, although my posts are predominantly Military based, it is tragic no matter where it happens. The only differences in the two is the level of trust issues and betrayal issues that resides, in the Military Rapes issues.

      Good Job!

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