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Return to Sender

Updated on August 30, 2010

Yakkity Yak; don’t talk back; I just kill me. Pop; Babbles Biden here responding to your latest criticism of me and Barrack. The Regime actually forbad me to respond but they forgot to remove the old box of Crayola Crayons I spend hours here in my office with amusing myself. Even with the blunted points I am able to stay within the lines most of the time. Anyway I just threw that in so as to explain why my response was written on a first grade lined tablet in black crayon. They won’t let me have a box with a built in sharpener for fear I may stick my finger into the sharpener.

Anyway I felt the need to respond to your criticism so here goes. First off I resent the term spin; it implies a disingenuous approach to this country’s problems and Barrack assures me he is serious about getting this economy back on track. The problem is we have no idea what track we are attempting to rerail it on. You see none of us have ever held a real job before this and it’s damned hard to put together a plan based on no practical experience. Barrack keeps quoting form some guy named Saul Alinsky; guess he must be some sort of an economist or something but he assures me we are following Saul’s plan to a tee. That $5 billion we are spending to weatherize people's homes; wow that’s a good one. I overhear Barrack talking with Al Gore the other night; something about EPA Standards used to circumvent congress actually passing Cap and Trade. Barrack told Al we’ll back door the public and implement Cap and Trade through EPA regulations; then they both had a big laugh followed by a glass of cognac and a fine cigar on the veranda.

Funny you mentioned my state of Delaware; Barrack’s buddy Eric told me the Justice Department is preparing to sue Delaware for failure to properly implement the Weatherization Program. Eric said he’ll show them just as he showed the people of Arizona; don’t mess with the Justice Department. Hillary then said if Delaware doesn’t get in line she’ll include them on the Human Rights grievance she recently filed with the U.N. regarding Arizona’s newly passed Immigration Law. She went on to say failure by the state of Delaware to act swiftly to winterize people’s homes constitutes a human rights violation in that in disproportionally inflicts unnecessary pain and suffering on Delaware’s poor unnecessarily subjecting them to Delaware’s harsh winters.   

Hey Pop; when I visited Manchester, New Hampshire, and told everyone that the program had already retrofitted 200,000 homes I had no idea what I was saying. What the heck does retrofit mean anyway. I just went there because I availed myself of another opportunity to fly on The Deuce; Barrack has Air Force One and I got the Deuce. I take it out every chance I get; you gotta see that baby; shooooowheeee! Anyway, once there they told me to read the tele and don’t answer any questions.

Did you say Texas? Barrack told me every time I hear the word Texas I should blame George Bush so I guess the fact that a contractor was doing shoddy work on at least 60 percent of the homes it was charged with weatherizing was George Bush’s fault. Also if I hear the word Alaska I am supposed to blast Sara Palin. So I guess just as Texas was George Bush’s fault, Alaska was Sara Palin’s fault.

OK you got me here Pop; is the Energy Department's Inspector General more like the UN Secretary General or is he more like Inspector Jacques Clouseau? I prefer Jacques Clouseau because I more readily identify with him. Also I love his little Smart Car he drives around Paris in.

Jobs saved or created or lives touched by the stimulus plan you gotta admit we’re pretty clever with our expressions. Not Since Jonny Cochran’s Glove don’t Fit you must acquit; has a team of Shysters pulled off such a coup on the unsuspecting public. Barrack learned Shucking and Jiving from the Reverend Wright.  

Sorry Pop but I will not stop traveling around the country making a fool of myself; what else have I got to do. They refuse to let me sit in on any real policy meetings and I get bored sitting at my desk day after day coloring. As for the smoke and mirrors it got us this far. Fact is we have nothing else; smoke and mirrors and snake oil is what we’re all about. As far as that socialism remark is concerned Barrack told me to call all of you that use that term racists. I’m not sure if that means you are Nascar race fans or just exactly what it means but anyway stop using that term!

Well gotta go for now; my crayon is wearing thin and it’s time for my milk and cookies; jump into my footy P.J.’s and off to Never Never Land with  


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    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 7 years ago from United States

      Patriot, Very good followup to Biden's agenda, Pop's hub and I thoroughly enjoyed your hub.