ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Government Shutdown; Insanely Inaccurate Headlines

Updated on January 19, 2018

Discussion of Government Shutdown

Headline 1: “GOVERNMENT SHUT DOWN”

Young Reporter: “Wait are we actually going to shut down the government, send home the military, quit collecting taxes, quit policing the borders, and prosecuting federal criminals?

Experienced Reporter: “No, No, we will just shut down Non-essential government services like federal parks and monuments, so we can send some government employees who work there home and then have a skeleton crew show up to lock the gates and doors, so no one can visit the parks.”

Young Reporter: “So shouldn’t the headline be:”

Headline 2: “GOVERNMENT CLOSING ALL FEDERAL PARKS AND MONUMENTS TO SAVE MONEY?”

Experienced Reporter: “No, No, No, We close the parks and monuments, but it doesn’t save money. All the employees we send home for a few days, but we pay them when they come back to work as though they had worked the days they got to stay home. It’s just that the parks and monuments are closed, and no fees will be collected from those who would have visited the parks those days. It doesn’t save money, if anything it causes us to lose some revenue.

Young Reporter: “Okay so your headline should be:”

Headline 3: “GOVERNMENT CLOSING ALL FEDERAL PARKS AND MONUMENTS BUT WILL PAY FURLOGHED EMPLOYEES AND TURN AWAY VISITORS AND COLLECT NO ADMISSION FEES”

Experienced Reporter: “Yes, that is what’s happening. But that would be a boring headline.”

Young Reporter: “Wait. Why do we even have that Lever Cronk? Why would anyone, even politicians agree to something that makes citizens unhappy and has no financial or other benefit at all?”

Experienced Reporter: “Oh that’s easy. There will be lots of press conferences and news media talking about the Great Government Shut Down. Tons of politicians will get free TV and Internet exposure explaining why the shutdown is someone else’s fault and ultimately explaining it will only be a problem for those flag waving patriotic types and tree huggers who like to visit national parks and monuments and the rest of the people will probably never notice.”

Young Reporter: “Well at least after they do it this once they will realize how amazingly stupid it is and never do it again.”

Experienced Reporter: “You must be new here kid. Congress has done this 18 times since 1976.1 Apparently, they don’t mind pulling this lever now and then.”



Footnote 1: Length of Government Funding Gaps Since 1976 (“A History of Government Shutdowns”) Data: Congressional Research Service; Chart: Lazaro Gamio / Axios

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • ptosis profile image

      ptosis 

      7 months ago from Arizona

      :/ Good reading of it all.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)