Sandy Hook Elementary Shooting 12/14/2012
I am deviating from my regular hubs to write this hub concerning the horrific incident that occurred at Sandy Hook Elementary on 12/14/2012. First, I would like to say that my thoughts and prayers go out to everyone involved directly and indirectly with the events and of course all the families that lost their angels.
The reason I am writing this particular piece is to help myself process what we know and have seen so far regarding the incident. Probably more therapeutic for me to write this, then for people to read but maybe there are some others out there that are feeling the same way. I keep getting the same response from family and friends, "just turn it off", "stop watching the news". I'm sorry but I can't all I can think about are my two little girls 4 and 2. My 4 year old goes to a private school that holds everything from daycare to high school in one school. She is in begindergarten and her classroom is one of the first classroom when parents drop off their kids along with the infant room. I can't help thinking what if that had been us?, what if that school was ours?, what if my child was one that was lost?.
I haven't slept much in the last couple of days because I just can't shake it, and the overwhelming grief that I feel for people I have never even met! I have been watching the reports and the updates and just replaying it, I have seen a lot of people compare the feeling to 9/11 and I agree. It was like you can't pull away from the TV or Internet, they keep showing the same footage and yet you are drawn to it and you cry and hug your kids a little tighter then any other day. Kisses mean more, messes and mis-behaving mean less, the carpet can get vacuumed later, you want to finger paint in the living room?, Sure!! However, above all is the fear that I feel, the constant fear that is keeping me awake at night.
Feeling Safe Again
I know that everyone, including those close to me are dealing with this in their own way. Some are calling for tougher gun control, less gun control, guards at schools, mental health regulations. I hear parents saying they are going to home school their kids. The most important thing for me right now though, is dealing with Monday morning. How am I going to be able to drop my child off at school? How after seeing this and knowing what I know can I possible give her a kiss, watch her walk into that school building and not be a wreck all day thinking is she coming home at 3:30pm?
I know that this incident will spark many debates, but the truth of the matter is if a person is willing to take their own life and they are set on what they are going to do, they will find a way. We can go and put a gun in everybody's hand or we can ban guns altogether, we can put a guard at every school or we can put the school in lock down during the day but as we know evil will find a way.
Newtown Youth and Family Services Link for Donations
- Welcome - Newtown Connecticut Youth & Family Services
Newtown Youth and Family Services, Inc. is a licensed, non-profit, mental health clinic and youth service bureau dedicated to helping children and families achieve their highest potential. We provide programs, services, activities, counseling, suppor
What about my child?
My last feeling is additional worry about my other daughter who has SPD or sensory processing disorder. Early reports have stated the shooter as having social awkwardness, not feeling pain like others, and possible having Asberger's and personality disorder. Is this incident going to bring on additional worry and concern over these kids that have these disorders? Are they going to be considered a threat before they are even old enough to know or understand these issues? This group of adults and kids that already have feelings of alienation from their peers because they are different, how are they going to be impacted. I do think that early detection is something that needs to happen and that parents shouldn't just ignore these things in their child and just pass it off, as mis-behaving or hiding it from others because they are so worried about labels. More awareness should be brought but more importantly more therapy choices that don't include a long list of medications that can cause even more harm to an individuals state of mind. I'm not saying that medication is unnecessary in some cases but it isn't helpful to stick to a therapy plan that just deals with medication, therapy should be included on how to deal with those emotions and how to spot when you are feeling depressed or lonely or angry. So many children go undetected for years, they become adults and are not equipped to deal with feelings that can become more confusing over time and more difficult to deal with.
I'm just looking for answers like everybody else, and have been shocked to see such an evil incident occur. These children were just babies, and the staff was just trying to protect them from harms way and to that I am so thankful to those that risked, and/or lost their lives in order to keep as many kids safe as possible.
Newtown Parent Connection For Donations
- Newtown Parent Connection, Inc.
Newtown, CT organization established by concerned parents and others to address the problem of substance use and abuse among young people in our community.