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Scorned: Love Kills or is it a case of the green- eyed monster?

Updated on July 8, 2012

They say a Picture is worth a thousand words~!

The green eyed Monsters distinguishing the two

Many of us have heard the term "the green-eyed monster" it was used to describe someone suffering from jealousy or envy. You would even hear someone say, "Oh, she's green with envy!" You laugh it off not realizing what dangers are potentially lying ahead of you. From a psychology standpoint jealousy and envy are gravely different in how they are defined most psychologist believe that there are so many more facets to understanding jealousy and envy and its various variants.There are many ways of examining jealousy and envy one is the mental state it leaves the people in, meaning how does it make the person feel. This is a seemingly easy way of exploring jealousy and envy.

In another book another psychologist states how jealousy and envy it is often easy to determine to what extent something is an issue of jealousy or even how much resentment, envy, or vengefulness play into the situation. Most often the expert says that these words are used interchangeably and do rather seem to flow into one another quite well. He warns however that behind these aggressive affects lurks giant forces such as humilation, shame, and even outer and still more inner condemnation hints of guilt. I remember being in a pastoral care group setting and we spoke of the double-sidedness of guilt, where guilt can be responsible for pushing you do to do great things yet also can be responsible for some terrible sorrows in your life. Now in understanding jealousy he says, "In jealousy I feel: I am the one who has been excluded from love. I am standing outside of an intimate relationship that is particularly precious to me. Behind jealousy, there is always a sense of loss, and with that, acute pain and sadness, but also a feeling of humiliation and shame."

His explanation is this "I am the excluded third and want to be the excluding first instead, or it implies, I am excluded from belonging to a larger community, and my pain and shame are so strong that I want to hurl myself against this exclusion but feel helpless to do anything about it." He warns then that very easily this warrants the individual to seek revenge or hungers the desire for venge or their own vindication. The sad part is he says that all of this goes on unconsciously.

He says, "Jealousy is a passion that assiduously searches for what creates suffering according to the philosopher Schleiermacher (Buchmann,1965). In Envy, he says the individual says, "The other has more, is better and more respected than I am, and I feel inferior and therefore humiliated. I want to take away and destroy the good he has and is." Also shame always lies behind envy, even much more so than is the case in jealousy.

Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy differiates between jealousy and envy as, "Ordinary language tends to conflate envy and jealousy. The philosophical consensus is that these are distinct emotions.[2] While it is linguistically acceptable to say that one is jealous upon hearing about another's vacation, say, it has been plausibly argued that one is feeling envy, if either, in such a case. Both envy and jealousy are three-place relations; but this superficial similarity conceals an important difference.

Jealousy involves three parties, the subject, the rival, and the beloved; and the jealous person's real locus of concern is the beloved—the person whose affection he is losing or fears losing—not his rival. Whereas envy is a two party relation, with a third relatum that is a good (albeit a good that could be a particular person's affections); and the envious person's locus of concern is the rival. Hence, even if the good that the rival has is the affection of another person, there is a difference between envy and jealousy.

[3] Roughly, for the jealous person the rival is fungible and the beloved is not fungible. So he would be equally bothered if the beloved were consorting with someone else, and would not be bothered if the rival were. Whereas in envy it is the other way around. Because envy is centrally focused on competition with the rival, the subject might well be equally bothered if the rival were consorting with a different (appealing) person, but would not be bothered if the ‘good’ had gone to someone else (with whom the subject was not in competition). Whatever the ordinary meaning of the terms ‘envy’ and ‘jealousy,’ these considerations demonstrate that these two distinct syndromes need to be distinguished."

This for me explains so much. I saw a television show on envy, entitled Deadly Sins. In the particular story a young woman's best friend kills her, her 3 children, as well as her unborn fetus she was carrying. Her friend felt that she had it all 3 healthy children (her friend had 2 handicapped children), she had a boyfriend who was going to marry her (her friend felt she did not have that same stability, because she miscarried a child.)

Rather than admit to the truth this young woman took classes to become a certified nurse in order to learn how to successfully deliver a baby. Her friend was only seven months pregnant when she decided to kill her friend and take the fetus, this resulted in both of their deaths. The friend's only regret was that the baby did not live. To me that was madness, what lengths envy had led her to commit such horrible acts without any true form of remorse. This was for me some type of imbalance chemically in her mental facilities. Now that you have seen some of my resource from different psychologist and philosophical experts, its your turn to weigh in.

According to my research on chemical imbalance,"Some doctors believe that attention deficit disorder is one of the early signs of chemical imbalance problem in the brain. ADHD is a medical condition which affects young children and adolescents. Such factors as inattentiveness, hyperactivity and impulsive behavior have been attributed to chemical imbalance in the brain." Other factors they believed that are symptoms of chemical imbalance are depression and diabetes due to the neutransmitters having interference in their regulation. These are some theories of experts in the mental illness community.

Do you agree with the experts? Do you think she suffered from a chemical imbalance or overload of emotions? Was it plain and simply good old-fashioned jealousy and envy taken too far? My guess is that it was jealousy that grew into envy attached with all the other senses of loss, resentment and anger that led her to seek her ultimate vengenance on her poor unsuspecting friend. I think that she was depressed unknowingly and acted in an envious manner and due to her chemical imbalanced state she was able to act impulsively and commit murder. Maybe, she was a sociopath, she did display classic symptoms, that is an assumption I have not studied or spoken to this young woman in depth. My purpose is not to diagnose her, but to bring awareness to jealousy and envy. There is a very fine line between emotion and action. Oh, what people will do in the name of their own vindication!

Feeling a little Green!

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    • brittvan22 profile image
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      brittvan22 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      @SCORPIO I AGREE, JEALOUS AND ENVY MIXED WITH PSYCHOSIS ONLY LEADS TO DISASTER!

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 5 years ago

      Very detailed and interesting!

      I've always felt that most of the time jealousy dealt with being insecure about someone who was already "yours". Oftentimes this person doesn't want to "share" their mate with anyone. They want them to be rude to everyone but them! LOL! With regard to envy, I think it has to do with wanting something another person has. The envious person is silently competing with someone who may not even be aware of them. Sipping on too much haterade will drive a person mad. lol!

    • brittvan22 profile image
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      brittvan22 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      @Dream on there has been a rise of copy cat killers, etc in the past ten years. Psychosis mixed with sweet inspiration can be dangerous. I think some criminals have evolved into much worse crimes.

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 5 years ago

      I wonder if the programs that sensationalize and constantly increase the drama encourage other unstable people to follow a similiar pattern.like copycat killers but on a less severe level.If the same people watch the same shows and get the same thrill from all the violence and drama can it envoke the melodrama in their own lives.Because now they have made these stories a pattern in their lives like a ritual.i wonder if you could give me your insight on the subject.Have a great day.

    • brittvan22 profile image
      Author

      brittvan22 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      @ Dream on, I agree with you that story was definitely a wild one. I will also affirm that I am glad to not be a part of anything so terrible so far. I just wanted to bring light to the issue partly for curiousity and then in our society jealousy and envy alongside revenge is socially acceptable there ar so many television shows dedicated to these three issues. It is almost expected that if you feel wronged you will immediately seek your vindication. Thanks for your input!

    • DREAM ON profile image

      DREAM ON 5 years ago

      I remember hearing of the story.Shocking and so desturbing at the same time.I am afraid of the people who are under the influence of drugs that only see one solution to their deep rooted problems.The brain and are social life can be so twisted at an early age we don't realize wrong from right.Very interesting points and I am so glad I have never been involved in such terrrible acts of violence or shame.It is hard to imagine what would drive someone to do such a thing.So many factors involved.Thanks for sharing light on a very difficult subject.

    • brittvan22 profile image
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      brittvan22 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      @beccabit for me its tricky, I agree with you that we should all be accountable for our actions, but I have also seen people in full blown psychosis and its something (no words for it). I was even thinking of psychosis and drug induced states. Some people claim they black out in that state and so do some drug users, they swear out they don't remember anything and for me I think if they don't remember how do they truly apologize for something they don't even remember. Some ppl also do as you say and try to use science and technology to get away with certain things, but for me the truth always comes out, might take a while, but all thinks come to the light eventually. Thanks for your input!

    • beccabit profile image

      beccabit 5 years ago from Utah

      I have taken quite a few classes in Psychology. I always have a hard time accepting that someone who does something like this should be let off as easy with simply saying it was chemical. I fear that we have come to be able to really depend on science to excuse us from our actions. Even the ones that are smaller due to envy and jealousy. At some point we do need to pay attention to our emotions, get them under control and stop ourselves from acting unkind just because we are jealous. I have felt jealousy and maybe I feel this way because I have also been victim to the opposite side and being harsh due to these feelings is wrong and controllable if you are on top of it in the beginning.

    • brittvan22 profile image
      Author

      brittvan22 5 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      I agree with you, from time to time we all on some level, but when it becomes envy mixed with those other factors its a recipe for disaster. I agree, the whole case was very disturbing and a mother and her 4 children lost their lives because of one woman's envy and vengance, thanks for your input.

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 5 years ago from Upstate, New York

      I do beleive we all care harmless forms of jealousy or envy. Although, as you state the danger comes when we allow it to become out of control. This example of the woman who committed the terrible acts had to mentally disturbed - no excuse still.