Seven Things Obama Must Do To Be Re-Elected
Uh, Oh! Busted, Mr. President
Robin Roberts with President Obama on Good Morning, America
President Obama has a way with V.I.P.'s
More ways Mr. Obama can win in 2012
ONLY FIVE MONTHS
and it will be November 2012. Presidential Election time. What a time to be alive and able to vote in the Great Nation of America. Aren't you glad also to be able to speak your mind as guaranteed in the Bill of Rights? Man, I am. I seize every editorial opportunity to say what "I" think as often as possible. I work to not take my rights as an American citizen for granted.
President Barack Obama has only five short months to get his re-election campaign "in gear," and on-the-road. Over hill and dell seeking the approval of his supporters who gave him his job the first term and to secure their support again in November. And this may sound harsh, but Barack Obama "is" human. He has human limits. Human weaknesses. And that is what is bothering me about his re-election campaign efforts I've seen thus far.
Not much. A little ad on Facebook. A mention on The Late Show with David Letterman and for the most part, that's it. No full-page color ads in major newspapers. No attractive billboard ads or catchy radio spots. I've yet to see one television ad telling me why "I" need to vote for Obama instead of Mitt Romney.
And as a caring American citizen and voter, I have prepared for President Obama, a few easy-to-do, inexpensive tips that he can use starting today if he pleases, to get his name on the minds of voting Americans and re-take the White House without working himself to death. I mean, it's really not fair for a president who has to run the country and campaign too is it? Does Mitt Romney have a job besides running for President? I guess he took a sabbatical away from his financial duties to the companies he "changed" while he gets suckers, I mean voters like me to put him in office as President.
So here, without any further delay, is my . . .
"Seven Things Obama Must Do To Be Re-Elected"
1. BE MORE ATHLETIC
see him in photo to the right? He is throwing a football to someone down field. That one photo got him several votes to prove to people that he is "in good physical shape," to do four more years in Washington, D.C. Put that with his stopping cigarette-smoking, and he is on his way to being President again. But he also needs to take up skate boarding with the younger people, do some MotoCross or X-Games on ESPN and he will have the Presidency "in the bag." I wonder why he has yet to be photgraphed with snowboarder Shawn White? And yeah, Obama needs to be seen wearing a boggan. That is a hip touch.
2. BE MORE OF A COMEDIAN
in public or private. Have you noticed that in 99% of his speeches, he is "stone cold" serious? Hey, Barack, loosen-up some. We have enough tension in our country the way it is. Loosen your tie. Pull off your shoes and put on some flip-flops. America needs a laid-back President. Not a man who has forgotten how to laugh. Hire (for a few weeks) my favorite comedian, Brian Regan to give you "stand-up comedy" pointers. The rest is gravy.
3. BE A BUDDY
to the men in your administration, not their boss. Men love to bond with other men. Have a "guy's night" in the Oval Office with drinks, dips, chips and some cigars, not for you, but for your buddies. You will be amazed, Mr. President, what great ideas come from heads of men who are relaxed and at-ease.
4. BE TOUGH WHEN NECESSARY
by talking with Bruce "Die Hard" Willis who played New York detective, John McClain. What a "tough guy" expert. Maybe Vin Diesel can give you some "tough" tips like staring-down a smart-alec reporter who doesn't want a story, but wants to make you look bad. And learn to kick a door in like Bruce Willis when your cabinet is having a closed-door discussion on an idea you gave them. When they see this "tough guy" side of you, they will vote your way all of the time.
5. GIVE FREE FOOD BUFFETS
frequently in the months ahead and if you are re-elected to the Office of President. Nothing is better than platter after platter of hot wings, iced tea, salami sandwiches, potato salad, and some cheese cake for dessert. Enough of the stuffy "state dinners," where you and everyone dresses formal. That needs to change to a casual look for men and women. I promise you with the buffets, men in loafers, and girls in capri slacks, you will be the "most popular president in history."
6. VISIT DESERTED HOMES
(such as the old farm house in photo at bottom). Let photographers snap your photo walking over lands that once fed a farmer and his family. Hey, use this backdrop to kick-off your re-election campaign fore 2012. Enough of throwing out a first-pitch. That is overly-used. Do something completely different. Visit run-down farms in the rural south and really mean what you say about a "restoration" of American dignity and you will get thousands of votes. I promise.
7. UTILIZE TALK SHOWS
like Good Morning, America with Robin Roberts. Instead of being totally-serious, say this, "did you hear the one about the Democrat and the hobo?" Talk show hosts such as Roberts will freeze in shock at the "new you," Mr. President. Make fun of yourself. That's being "real" and "real" is what we Americans want. A "real" man who can be a "real" president. Human enough to fail and man enough to say, "I am sorry. That didn't work."
And in closing. Count the letters in the word "V-I-C-T-O-R-Y." What do you get? "Seven." Oh what a coincidence. I gave Mr. Obama "seven tips."
Need I go any further?