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Men and Women Are Complementary Not Equal

Updated on November 18, 2017
Chuksm profile image

Anthony Modungwo is a freelance and prolific writer for many internet sites & novels. He holds a masters degree in business administration.

Should Men and Women Should Be Complementary

This has been a controversial topic and is still been debated in various social media. Some women have proved that they can do what a man can do. And some of them will like “and even better” added. I have been reading and observing with undiluted interest how some women have contributed to the socio-economic, political, cultural, educational and industrial development in their respective countries.

Mrs. Goldier Mier made immense contribution to the survival of Israel to date, when she was the Prime Minister of the country. Mrs. Margaret Thatcher, the Prime Minister of Britain was known for her toughness and firmness. She gave the male politicians in Britain a good fight.

Indira Ganhdi, the Prime Ministry of India was another highly respected female leader. Julian Gillard used to be the Prime Minister of Australia, Park Geun-hye was the President of South Korea.Joyce Banda was the President of Malawi and Gloria Arroyo was a President of Philippines.

There are women still ruling many countries: German Chancellor is Angela Merkel, New Zealand Prime Minister is Helen Clark, Even in Africa, the President of Liberia is Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf.The President of Central African Republic is Catherine Samba-Panza. Simonetta Sommaruga is the current president of Switzerland. Kolinda Grabr-Kitarovic is the current and first female president of Croatia.

Nigeria has produced some very intelligent women, who have made the country proud. Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala was the Finance Minister in Nigeria. She had been a management staff of World Bank before Nigeria pleaded with her to help handle the country’s economy. Late Professor Dora Akuyili is a pride to the country. She helped to sanitize the drug market in Nigeria when she was in charge of National Food and Drugs Administration and Control (NAFDAC). She did a wonderful work even after the fake drugs cartel attempted to assassinate her. Oby Ekwesili also helped to sanitize the procurement system in Nigeria.

Many women had been deputy governors in many states in Nigeria, such as Dame Virgil Etiaba in Anambra, late Mrs. Funmilayo Olayinka in Ekiti, Mrs. Joke Orelope-Adefulire in Lagos, Mrs. Titilayo Laoye-Tomori and others.

From the above analysis, it could be seen that women could be very useful out of the kitchen. They could contribute a great deal to national development. But where I vehemently disagree with them is that they are equal to men or should seek equality with men. Preaching such a thing is religiously and culturally blasphemous and sacrilegious. While it is great that women have made important and long strides toward social, political, and economic equality, some women have, unfortunately, pushed for equality to the point of ignoring the distinctive differences.

For those of you who are Christians refer to Genesis chapter 2:22-23,”And the Lord God caused deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept and he took one of his rib and closed up the flesh instead thereof; and the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made she a woman and brought her unto the man.”

This automatically disqualifies women as being equal with men. Even if not mentally but physically. This might be the explanation for the better performance of men in jobs requiring tremendous strength and stamina.

South African athlete, Castor Semenya, has been in the news since the Berlin 2009 World Athletics Championship held in Germany. In August, Semenya who all her life has lived as a girl displayed the physical attributes of a man. The girl, who is eighteen years of age, won the gold medal in the women’s 800meters of the championship and so her remarkable performance raised a lot of questions. Both scientific and physical tests were conducted on her.

She scaled all the hurdles in the physical tests hence the International Amateur Athletics Federation assured her that her gold medal would not be withdrawn. It has been shown that her testosterone levels were three times more than what a woman should have. This means that she is more of a man than a woman, hence her remarkable feat.

James Johnson is a Nigerian; formally Miss Iyabo Abade. He was a self-confessed hermaphrodite who is now a man after undergoing two operations in Midway Hospital in California, US in 2005. Johnson grew up as a woman but at the national women’s football camp, her stamina portrayed her as a man. She came out openly to seek help because she had both the male and female reproductive organs. This is another proof that the physical strength of men and women are not the same. Therefore two different things cannot be said to be equal, but they can be complementary.

Culturally, polygamy is the human nature. Polyandry is not a common practice. And the man is the head of the house acccording to religious beliefs. Physiologically, women differ with men in a reasonable extent. While their sex hormones, are oestrogens that of men are Androgens. And their characteristics differ greatly.

We do not need sociologists and psychologists to prove to us that there are consistently different play patterns between young boys and girls. A look around us will reveal that males and females have different priorities, have different desires in life. This difference between men and women are one of the reasons why marriage is very challenging. Unfortunately some couples have refused to recognize these differences in their quest for liberation from Godly ordained roles. No matter how blended your personalities are don’t be misled to believe that your spouse’s ways are your ways, his thoughts are your thoughts, and his emotions are your emotions.

Women psychological and emotional responses to situations are never the same with that of an average man. Take the case of bereavement for example. Most women will break down into tears but men will usually take things more easily. As one highly educated girl, once told me, when I was in the university that her husband must help her in the kitchen. When she is frying the stew, the man should be boiling the rice, or vice versa, she boasted. I told her that she might not be so lucky to marry a man that has such culinary quality.

Most men are not known to have enviable culinary abilities. Claiming equality with men is not helping matters. A man till this moment is regarded as a failure both by women and the society at large, if he cannot fend for his family. The families where the wives are breadwinners are very few. Alimony is paid by men to support women after they have separated. I am not aware of any money paid by the women to their husbands after separation for their upkeep; even when they won the custody of the children.

Recently housemaids have snatched the husbands of their madams as reported in some of the newspapers and frequently heard in divorce suits. It is not surprising, when madam spends most part of the day in the office, toiling for money. When she comes back and she is not very tired, she zooms off to one of the women "liberation" meetings.

The housemaid is left to attend to all the needs of her husband. It’s a popular saying that, “When you can’t get what you want, you make do with what is available.” So don’t blame the man.

My advice to women is that they should take advantage of all opportunities to do works that would make them blessings to humanity. They should stop struggling with the male counterparts. This does not means that I support that men should be free and women should be domestic slaves, but rather each gender should complement each other to make the family a happy societal unit to rear the next generation.

A woman once complained to me about her husband, “I have served him for twenty years. I have waited on him. I have been his doormat while he ignored me, mistreated me, and humiliated me in front of my friends and family.”

When a husband treats his wife as an object, he precludes the possibility of love. Manipulation, intimidation or coercion by fear is alien to love. No person should ever be a doormat. You should not allow yourself to be used, because you are a creature of emotions, thoughts, and desires. Allowing yourself to be used or manipulated by another person is not an act of love but stupidity.


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    • Chuksm profile imageAUTHOR

      Anthony Modungwo 

      4 years ago from Benin

      Dashingscorpio, I quite appreciate your contribution. People should make the decisions of what they want in life. Thanks.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      4 years ago

      I believe it comes down to the culture of the people and their religious beliefs. In the U.S. things have always been more progressive in the area of equal rights for women (compared) to many other countries around the world. We have laws on the books that forbid discrimination and sexual harassment against women. The president and CEO of General Motors is a woman, the president and CEO of Xerox is an African American woman, more women are graduating with college degrees than men, many make more money than their husbands and boyfriends and as of now there is a better than a 50/50 chance that the next U.S. president may be a woman. England has already had a female prime minister. The U.S. has had two female Secretary of State

      Only the people living within a culture can change it. No one just "gave" women and minorities rights in the U.S. They demanded them, marched in protest, participated in sit ins, and did whatever they could to raise the conscience of the nation. In many instances blood was spilled and people died for their beliefs.

      Life is a personal journey. For that woman who said: “I have served him for twenty years. I have waited on him. I have been his doormat while he ignored me, mistreated me, and humiliated me in front of my friends and family.” It's important to remember in a free society each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. She did not (love herself) enough to leave.

      Anyone who is unhappy in their marriage and they (choose) to stay is by default (choosing) to be unhappy. No one else can live YOUR life for you. If one is determined enough they will find a means to break free even if it means moving to another country or continent. We build our own prisons. Our lives are for the most part the end result of the choices and decisions (we) have made along the way. Looking out for #1 is your God given right!


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