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Social Ineptitude

Updated on April 4, 2010
Exciting IT Career
Exciting IT Career

I don’t know how it happened. This is not what I wanted to be when I grew up, yet here I am – a mid-level manager in Information Technology (IT). Could it be worse? Certainly. Could it be better? Certainly.

Ineptitude (Source:
Ineptitude (Source:
Incompetence (Source:
Incompetence (Source:

I find myself surrounded by incompetence and social ineptitude and I wonder how this all happened. My journey wasn’t an overnight adventure; this was a semi-calculated career with stability and options. Yet, I wonder how I got here.

Here is a strange place. I work with extremely logical and smart people, yet most of them have no social skills and most of them are very egotistical. I find myself loathing lunch outings or happy hours with my coworkers. I sometimes go with them to lunch or happy hours, but it’s never comfortable. It’s almost always embarrassing. These people constantly exude inappropriate behavior.

Exciting LAN party!
Exciting LAN party!

It’s like I’m back in high school and hanging out with the nerds. These people, most in their late 20s and early 30s, have not changed any. It’s no wonder most of them don’t have dates or girlfriends or participate in “normalactivities. Normal activities to them include nightly raids or LAN (local area network) parties. A raid is where a bunch of geeks virtually get together in a MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game) and accomplish a task, such as killing a large creature in the game or “running a dungeon” for treasure. A LAN party is when a bunch of nerds physically get together. They all bring their laptops, network cables, and headphones. They connect all their machines together and play games. A few of the nerds even play old-school D&D (Dungeons and Dragons), like in the movie ET.

Nerds (including Bill Gates) at Hooters
Nerds (including Bill Gates) at Hooters
Strip Clubs - LAN Parties are More Exciting
Strip Clubs - LAN Parties are More Exciting

Now, I do have some nerd traits myself, but I try to have balance. I used to find it interesting that a group of us would go out to Hooters for happy hour with plans to end up at a strip club, yet we always ended up at someone’s house for a LAN party. I guess the strip club just sounded cool, but who wants to look at real semi-naked girls, when we could battle an epic virtual creature instead?!?

Cool Club with Sexy Girls and Cool Music
Cool Club with Sexy Girls and Cool Music
Weekend Pool Party
Weekend Pool Party

For some reason, I always thought my life would be different. I thought it would be more like the movie “American Psycho”, minus the psycho part. A life of work with brilliant and socially adept people. A life of happy hours at cool clubs with sexy girls, great music, and great drinks. A life of weekend pool parties at cool houses with lots of sexy girls in bikinis, cool music, cool appetizers, and cool drinks. A life of bypassing the lines outside the cool clubs because we were the epitome of style and coolness. A life of making a difference with a passion for excellence.

Well, it didn’t quite turn out that way. It’s nobody’s fault but mine. I chose to be in Information Technology. I chose the “stable” career. STABLE = BORING. I often feel spent from dealing with the social ineptitude and incompetence. This has become a vicious cycle. I’m devoid of the energy to switch to something different, yet what’s draining my energy is the sameness. I keep thinking I’ll muster the energy to make a change, yet I never do. Tomorrow never comes. I’m losing my competence and my social skills everyday. I’m slowly being assimilated into the world I’ve immersed myself within. Someone will write something similar about my social ineptitude if I continue down this path.

Devoid of Energy
Devoid of Energy

Nerd Anthem


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    • msorensson profile image

      msorensson 6 years ago

      I enjoyed the article..Thank you. It made me smile..

    • kea profile image

      kea 7 years ago

      @ghfrank - thanks for the comment. I try to have balance, but perhaps a change is needed...

    • ghfrank profile image

      ghfrank 7 years ago

      Don't look back when your older and say you wish you had more fun. Appreciate what you have, but in each moment. Now make a change and create your moments you won't regret missing out on.

    • terribee profile image

      terribee 8 years ago

      Hey C. Could be worse (i.e. more boring). Yes you work in a boring job, but it obviously is flexible and profitable enough to allow you world travel and time off to participate in extreme sporting events! You want boring? Get married, live in suburbia, raise a kid and have your annual vacations at 'family resorts'!

      Appreciate what you DO have! Take care. TB

    • Aya_Hajime profile image

      Aya_Hajime 8 years ago

      lol - I know what you mean with the egos. And let me tell ya, it is worse when you are a woman. IT men go nuts when there is even a hint that a woman might know more than them :)

      One thing that may help in the short term is to find a totally different set of people to socialize with. I hang out with some old friends from school and also people that I meet in the dance club.

      In the long term though, finding a different workplace is the best solution.

    • kea profile image

      kea 8 years ago

      Hola. Thanks for the comments. Yes, I do indeed need a change and I do plan to "cut away" sometime soon.

      @Randy B - I visualize all the time and I wonder if that's my prob! :)

      @Tom - Gigs off Craigslist? I'll have to check that out - thanks.

      @AznAdventureGirl - I'm ready, if you'll pay for me to "cut away" and go to Fiji!

      @Ixxy - Nice to see I'm not the only one with my perspective! What you up to now that you ditched IT?

    • lxxy profile image

      lxxy 8 years ago from Beneath, Between, Beyond

      " yet most of them have no social skills and most of them are very egotistical."

      Yup, yup. I'm glad I'm no longer a firedog tech..well, not that Circuit City is still around. I'm a people person, and I love to hack things for my own personal amusement and challenge.

      But, after awhile...between co-workers claiming to be superior and customers not listening to your advice it just becomes a hassel.

    • AznAdventureGirl profile image

      AznAdventureGirl 8 years ago from World Traveler and Proud Vagabond

      Sounds like time for a HUGE change, dude!! I suggest you just "cut away" (as we say in the world of skydiving) ~ and escape to a beautiful tropical island (like Fiji) with your amazingly hot, gorgeous and outgoing Asian girlfriend. I know I would if I were you!! I hear there are no computers, nerds, or social ineptitude on Fiji !!! ;)

    • Tom Rubenoff profile image

      Tom Rubenoff 8 years ago from United States

      Small steps, my friend. Take a class. Look at the want ads for ideas. Do some gigs off of Craigslist. Volunteer. Expand your universe. You can do it.

    • Randy Behavior profile image

      Randy Behavior 8 years ago from Near the Ocean

      It definitely sounds like you need a change Kea. Visualize daily what you'd rather be doing and see if doesn't come to pass.