Start Spreading the News; I’m Leaving Today; Not Gonna be a Part of it; New York New York
Uhhhhhh hello again so soon Pop; I was told your latest question required a response lest people assume too much. Why am I not going to Ground Zero on September 11; uhhhhh the answer is as plain as the recipes in your cook book; Do you think I’m crazy? I’ve spent the better part of the past two years traveling the Muslim World apologizing for America’s part in 911 and you think I’m going to squander all that good will I’ve garnered for some stupid ceremony. I told Michelle she would have to go there and read the ole tele as payment for all those extravagant trips she’s been on lately. Nope this old boy ain’t getting anywhere near Ground Zero on September 11!
Pop, uhhhhhhhh you kill me with the bluntness of your questions; I’m glad you are not part of the Main Stream Media; but then again they would never hire you. Of course I visited the site in 2008; that visit was a critical part of my presidential campaign. Remember I had to diffuse the ravings of Reverend Wright which had gotten out despite the efforts of my media supporters so a visit to the site on 911 was an absolute must. That bus ride back then became a bit bumpy; especially since we had to run over Reverend Wright on our way to the 911 site. Poor old Rev., he never knew what hit him; immediately after uttering his famous line; a line I actually wrote for him; America’s Chickeeeeeeennnns Coming Home to Roost; Bam-Pow, Under the Bus you go!
Pop; you know as well as I do my presence there would definitely pose a political liability for me? My Muslim friends would get the wrong impression; they would perceive me as Taking Sides; sorta like wearing that flag lapel pin or singing that National Anthem. Remember to some in the Muslim World; those are symbols of America’s Racism. You people should be thankful I’m even going to the Pentagon; it was first proposed than I visit that innocuous site somewhere in Pennsylvania where that Let’s Roll Plane went down but we agreed; Rham, Axelrod and I, that would be a little too obvious for even the most ardent Oprah fans to swallow!
On September 11, 2001, 2,752 innocent people got what they deserved. Because of America’s Arrogance, Divisiveness and Derisiveness over the past several decades my Muslim Brothers finally could take it no longer and acted out their pent up aggression. Ooooooppppppppps, there you go again Barrack, speaking or in this case writing before you catch yourself and remembering who your audience is. I’ll have to remember to strike this paragraph out before I send this reply.
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten; there; now that I’ve regained my composure where was I? Oh Yeah, Pop remember to some those Islamic terrorists you refer to are heroic freedom fighters. Remember even the great Che Guevara, Karl Marx, Fidel Castro or even Chairman Moa were considered Despots by some; the politically ill informed of course. So please be careful how you throw labels around. My beloved father was himself a Devout Muslim and as such supported the Kenyan Freedom Fighters in their struggle to break free from British Colonialism; do you think my people were able to shed the mantle of an advanced society and return to our grass and mud Huts without a struggle. No siree, every mud and grass hut we now live in in Kenya was at the expense of a modern building our brave freedom fighters heroically blew up so we could revert back to our heritage!
Debt, Shmedt, Michelle and I are doing quite nicely thank you very much. As for the rest of you; I remind you I promised this would not be an easy transformation. It never is. At least be thankful there have been no mass killings as other Marxist Disciples have found to be necessary as they slowly took control over the system. I refer to the most recent example set by Pol Pot as he seized control of Cambodia following your country’s defeat in Viet Nam. I still love saying that even though anyone who is even a casual student of history realizes you didn’t lose that war; you were forced to withdraw based on the political antics of my early revered Alinski Disciples Walter Cronkite and Jane Fonda!
As for the lack of jobs; for the life of me I can’t figure out why you people are in such a hurry to get back to work; I’m just going to take most of what you earn in taxes to pay for my programs. So why worry so much; relax, sit back and enjoy watching the suckers that still have jobs toil away day after day, week after week for what? My union buddies have had this figured out a long time ago. They don’t give a rat’s rear end what their contracts do to the companies they work for. After all companies only exist to pay workers; don’t ever forget that.
I beg to differ with your final point; I am in fact the Community Organizer for the United States of America. My job is to take from the rich and give to the poor. Think of me as an intelligent Al Sharpton; one who uses a teleprompter instead of the Bull-Horne! Haven’t you ever heard of divide and conquer; well that’s what I’m all about. You gotta agree America has never been as divided as it is today!
Sorry Pop but I gotta go for now. Hope this latest letter cleared up some of your pesky questions; especially those surrounding my proposed 911 agenda.