Are You Guilty of 'Sweating the Small Stuff'
What 'Sweating The Small Stuff' Means
Basically, a person who sweats the small stuff is someone who worries about every tiny detail of everything. For instance: they might be hosting a party and they will worry about: enough food, house clean enough, space for everyone, enough drinks, forget anything, outfit okay, fire in the fireplace or no, outside or in, the list is very lengthy and goes on through-out the night. The problem isn't that someone might worry about getting these things completed, it is that someone might worry about these things even after they have taken care of them. And they make up things to worry about, for example: what if they don't like my table decor; what if I offended them on my invitation; they cut the phone call short so they must be mad at me or even something like--I've lost weight, will everyone be mad because I weight less? The worries are endless and stressful to the max.
Do you sweat the small stuff?
Ten Steps To Stop 'Sweating The Small Stuff'
- Like yourself.
- Like what you do.
- Be confident.
- Accept when you are wrong.
- Ask questions when you need to.
- Take a moment to understand a situation before you react.
- Give yourself credit where credit is due.
- Give others credit when they have earned it.
- You cannot do everything so stop trying.
- Be happy with what you have and stop wanting what others have.
All Tied Up With Worry
Before you do anything to improve yourself or your worries, you must like yourself. Take a look in the mirror and remember that you are who you are. You can improve your behavior or stop a bad habit, but you cannot change you. So take a moment, introduce yourself to you and like what you see. Don't worry about change, that will come as you mature and learn new things. It is the person within that is important right now. Liking yourself stops the questions about what to do.
Example Of Pros And Cons For Your Job
You make a good salary.
Your boss is giving you a hard time.
You have been there long enough to have three weeks vacation time.
All the bosses take the best weeks for their own vacations.
You know your job well.
But there are always new programs that rarely work.
Like What You Do
This does not mean that you have to quit your job today because you don't like it. It means you should actually determine if the job is worth keeping (in other words the pros and cons of the job) and if it isn't worth keeping, then you can start actively looking for another one (still working while you train and search for that dream job). Also, don't do things because other people are doing them and want you to do them. A good example of this would be crafting. Perhaps you do it for a hobby. It is okay to do crafting if you like to craft. I love it which is why I thought of it. But if you are just crafting because everyone else is, then stop doing it. Do the things you like and let others chose for themselves. That will eliminate the worry of what 'should I do and how should I do it'. Do what you like so you can like what you do.
Example Of Pros And Cons For A Hobby
Everyone else is doing it and you want to be part of a group.
They only talk about crafting.
You don't have a store of crafting supplies cluttering up your house.
You don't have a store of crafting supplies to do all of the jobs.
Are you good at many things?
- Can you do many things well?
- Do you know how to run many pieces of equipment?
- Do you learn fast?
- Do you get along well with everyone?
Are there more things that you can do well? Then be confident in yourself. Being confident isn't being in charge or knowing more than the others know. Being confident is knowing you and trusting in yourself. Being confident is being relaxed with yourself. Being confident means you are comfortable with you. Stress about whether you will do good or bad is gone because you are confident with you. PS-whether others feel the same way about you is irrelevant, only how you feel counts at this time.
No Worries, Totally Confident
Taking The Fall When You Are Wrong Is An Insurance Policy For Your Future
Accept When You Are Wrong
No one person can know everything, including you. Will lying to the boss about who made the mistake in the report make you look good at that moment? Will lying about a friend or family member make you look good? Maybe, and maybe not. The truth comes out eventually. When it does, things can get really hot really fast. A saying I learned when growing up: 'oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.' I don't know who first said it but it is so true. With that in mind, try admiting that you made a mistake. This will make you look better in the long run than those who would lie. This will also make you look better in the eyes of those who count in your life. However, in the reverse; if you did not make a mistake, then speak up. Taking the blame for others all the time ultimately makes you look guilty all the time, even when you are not guilty. Stress of deceit, and it's results, is gone.
Blaming others might look good for you right now, but in the end the truth will come out.
Ask Questions When You Need To
How dumb would it be if you said you understood something when you didn't? How dumb is it to think that asking a question will make you look dumb? Asking questions is not dumb, it is smart. How can you possibly know about something if you don't ask. I have learned one thing that has been proven correct time after time. It is: there is no such thing as a stupid question. So ask, then you will know the answer. I bet all of those around you where wondering the same thing, but they were afraid to ask. You can be their hero! Just saying..... Oh yes, the stress of I don't know is gone.
Do you believe you make decisions based on your experiences?
Take A Moment To Assess The Situation Before You React
Unconsciously, we often behave based on past experiences. This means that your behavior might not be appropriate, but will come from your heart. This could make things worse. Take a moment to assess the situation. Take a moment and ask yourself: what is happening, who is involved, why are they behaving this way, when did it start, where is it happening and how can it be stopped? These are the questions you should ask yourself before you react to any given situation. You may not have all of the answers, but you will have a better undertstanding of the situation. This means that your reaction will be politically correct and will help to divuse the situation rather than making it worse. No more stress about how to behave.
Give Yourself Credit Where Credit Is Due
Everyone likes to bask in the spot-light every now and then, right? So blow your own horn when you do something that is worthy of the spot-light. Besides, it makes you look good in the boss's (or others who count for you) eyes.
That might get you farther in life; however, blowing your horn without blowing the horn of any who also had a part is never a good thing. You may quickly rise on the corporate ladder, but those who helped will, eventually, show their true worth. You, on the other hand may find yourself trying to do something you said you could do, but actually took credit from someone else. So acknowledging your good points means stress about your abilities is gone, and acknowledging your helpers means stress about their anger (and the results) is gone.
Give Others Credit When They Have Earned It
Yes, we often forget that we are not alone. But giving others the credit they deserve will eliminate anger from them, stress in the relationship and worry about what to say and how. We all like to look good in the eyes of others. Getting well-deserved credit means you pass on the baton, so to speak, and get it back with great fan-fare. Besides, you should always look forward to when your chance in the spot-light will come. Looking back and being jealous of those presently in the spot-light can 'stink' in the long run. Give them their chance, then stop worrying about how to do something correctly because they already did it for you.
You Cannot Do Everything, So Stop Trying
Is this you? I have to clean the house, go to the bank for cash, pick up dry-cleaning, gather the invitations, prep the food, pick up the kids, take the kids to the baby-sitter, get dressed, greet the guests....... How many more things do you think you can do in one day? You cannot do it all. You are not superman or wonder woman, even they couldn't do everything. You are a human being. Ask for help and don't be embarrassed that you had to ask. Stress levels go through the clouds if you try to do forty-eight hours worth of stuff in twenty-four hours. So they don't do it the way you do, they aren't you. The task they had, however, is done. Give them the credit for it and move on with getting your stuff done. And don't forget to soak in the tub or stand under a hot massaging shower before the event takes place. Now, the stress about something you needed to do is minimized. Those clouds are for watching, not worries.
Be Happy With What You Have And Stop Wanting What Others Have
Ah, keeping up with the Jone's. We try so hard to have everything they have, but better. Well stop that right now! You don't need what they have, you only need what you need. What would a bachelor do with a shoe closet? What would a beauty queen need a tie-dye shirt for? You need to decide what you need, what you can afford and what you really want. Now, instead of looking at the other person and thinking 'I want that', look at them and think 'wow, nice'. Stress of keeping up with the Jone's or Adams' or Believeit's is gone. You don't need theirs because you have your own. Beside, getting what you need and can afford will also keep those debts in line. No worries there. Stress, get lost.
Okay, now that you have the basics, you are good to go, right? Well, not quite. You need to keep a few short rules in mind:
- Make the obvious choices even if you don't like them. The stress about that will give you wrinkles and a headache.
- Keeping things simple and within your price range will keep all those stressful debt worries at bay. Worrying about them will do more than give you a headache, they will cause you to make decisions that you might regret later. Who needs to worry about that?
- Relax, even if things go well, there will always be something that goes wrong or doesn't go quite as planned. Expect it, then you won't be so upset when it happens. Worrying about whether or not something will go wrong will just ruin your enjoyment of when they go right.
- DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF! You now have the tools you need to avoid the worry about all the little things that can go wrong, so don't worry about them. Besides, life sends a lot our way; if you get stuck on the small things, you might let the big important ones get away.
© 2012 Cheryl Simonds