ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Sycophants- An analysis

Updated on November 4, 2010

How to succeed in business without even being anybody

Sycophants are a sort of anti-Boy Scout. They’re dishonest, disloyal and untrustworthy by definition. They’re also now a sort of plague in the fun-filled collections of excuses for psychoses known as management science. They live on the basis of selective groveling and acquiescence to anything that provides job mobility, income and status.

Sycophants are nobodies who are quite content to remain in the background, taking out their own lack of achievement in performance reviews, management committees and meetings where they can also pretend to have hormonal activity. They’re happily supported by their hosts, who believe what they say largely due to the vast amounts of flattery sycophants can produce. (This ability is believed to derive from special glands in the area where a face would normally be sited on humans.)

This wholesome species has now made an impact in the job market. The unemployed are now being taught to become actors, like sycophants, on the basis that it will make getting jobs easier. The lack of emphasis on skills in other areas is also consistent with a culture which is incapable of understanding the skills of employees in most cases. It’s been a great mix of innuendo and inference for the last 30 years.

A former chairman of Nabisco wrote in his memoirs that all that was required in America to be a success was great sycophantic skills. That was 20 years ago, and the result is that business management and psychotherapy are now closely related. A building burning down or an economy being trashed for a few generations is now the result of “attitude problems” which can be easily fixed by a weekend workshop and guidance from the VP or accountant in charge of mental obliteration.

The “team” mentality, in which people who loathe each other and have no respect for the skills of their colleagues, has been a fertile mating zone for sycophants. They can agree with each other for decades, while doing everything possible to avoid confrontation with facts, balance sheets, and audits.

Becoming a sycophant is easy. All you need is:

  • An IQ lower than plankton
  • A total lack of any need for self respect
  • An endearing belief in anything convenient
  • The ability to spot morons who hire sycophants
  • A reputation for being able to support anything from genocide to economic collapse
  • A genetic history of undiluted hypocrisy
  • The sensitivity of Styrofoam
  • The social instincts of a cockroach

From this inspiring basis, the sycophant can develop a self image based on being clever and a true can-do person. The fact that they need to be neither is of course irrelevant. The people who can recognize sycophants are usually too busy throwing up, and the managers who realize their mistakes are too busy trying to escape.

Sycophancy is a career move for those who lack talent, intellect and basic human instincts. It’s the new black, for those who were color blind in the first place.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Paul Wallis profile imageAUTHOR

      Paul Wallis 

      8 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      K9keystrokes- Yep, you can almost hear them setting up the workshops and networking already. I try to help...

    • K9keystrokes profile image

      India Arnold 

      8 years ago from Northern, California

      Outstanding style! Finally, someone has the guts to put it to the page! I feel them scampering as you shed light on the subject!...

      My only concern is that somewhere someone is thinking this the perfect job description for the new job opening in Human resources.

    • Paul Wallis profile imageAUTHOR

      Paul Wallis 

      8 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      Yeah, and look what they're doing. Sycophants are the new Black Plague, just less aesthetically pleasing.

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 

      8 years ago from London, UK

      Well laid out and well written, thank you. I think they are growing in an alarming rate.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Ha ha, interesting Hubs. I've always had zero tolerance for sycophants. I'd rather just be unsuccessful than adopt that kind of demeanor and personality, frankly.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)