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THE REAL ON WHAT TO DO IF CONFRONTED BY A RAPIST

Updated on July 11, 2011

Should I scream? Fight back?

In the United States a woman is raped every 2 minutes. Confronting and fighting off a rapist is a mind thing that you can even possibly get out of without being raped - if you use your head. Most rapists don't kill. Most rapists don't even use a weapon at all really. Studies show that only 11% of all rapes involve the use of a weapon. 39% used a gun, 6% used a knife, 2% used some form of other weapon and an astounding 84% of rapists just used physical force. In my latest book, "Until I Get Caught - The True Story Of A Serial Rapist In Baltimore" I delved into the mind and world of Baltimore serial rapist Reginald Williams. Reginald decided that the least he could do after over a 20 year career as a serial rapist is to inform women as to what you can do realistically if confronted by a sexual monster.

First off, according to Reginald, there's no sure fire way for preventing a rape from occurring because if the rapist wants the victim bad enough the rapist will go to whatever length they have to go to get the victim. Don't assume that because you live in a certain area that you won't be sexually assaulted. Preparation starts BEFORE you are assaulted. Train your brain to tell yourself that if you don't know a person, a stranger, then you have to see them as a potential attacker. If you always practice this rule of thumb, then you'll always be alert and on point. Reginald was the type of rapist that attacked from the front, head on not from behind the unsuspecting female because he wanted to catch the victim totally off guard so quickly that she didn't have time to be scared. The last thing a rapist wants is unwanted attention but a lot of books and so called "rape experts" tell you to scream during an attack. Realistically speaking, screaming is overrated in Baltimore city, especially at night and especially in highly populated areas because the sound of gunshots is likely to drown out your screaming anyway. I'm not saying screaming isn't a good idea but you also risk getting the crap beat out of you because you made him angry by screaming. Remember rapists don't like unwanted attention so screaming could cause him to make a split decision to either continue with the attack which could have brutal consequences because you didn't follow his orders of not to scream. Or he could just change his mind and high tail it out of there. It's a quick judgement call.

Carrying mace is an excellent idea but you have to be sure to keep it handy where you can spray it in a hurry like on your key chain. If you're walking somewhere and some dude gets up on you real fast DON'T PANIC because that's when you're liable to screw up, lose your head and not think. Keep your mace in your hand cuffed and when he says whatever he wants to do to you unload your fire on him IF HE ISN'T ARMED. Pay attention because at some point BEFORE THE RAPE he's going to let his guard down because he figures you're terrified. When he does, spray your weapon aiming for his eyes but preferably up his nose or mouth. No one that's gasping for air while struggling not only to see but breathe still has enough strength to rape anybody. Remaining calm is extremely hard to do, I agree, but it will cause you to think clearly and make decisions and choices that could buy you some time to look for a way out, saving your life whether or not you get raped.

If he has any kind of weapon that you know you can't overpower, follow his instructions to a tee. Listen to all of his demands and follow them as best you can. Try your best to remain calm because weapons change the rules and the goal now is to survive the assault with you life still intact because even a scared or nervous rapist that doesn't want any trouble or attention can still hurt or kill you unconsciously just to keep you from fighting, kicking, biting, scratching, screaming, resisting or just plain to keep you from identifying him.

Rape is about power. If you're calm enough Reginald suggests a woman mentally psych him out of that power right before the actual sex act of it by offering an alternative to sex. Offer oral sex, hand jobs, any sex act instead of intercourse. Or right before the sex act, you could calmly state with a straight face (this is why it's so important to REMAIN CALM) "By law, I have to tell you this before you do your thing but I have AIDS and if you don't want the virus, the least you can do is use a condom. I wouldn't wish this disease on anybody." A statement out of the blue like that is a last ditch effort that could prevent a rape from occurring. He may think twice and decide you're not worth the risk and let you leave. Distracting him by requesting such a thing is also a last ditch effort to try to create some sort of opening to escape. What kills a rapist's desire to rape the quickest? A calm victim. Rapists get bored with victims who do not show fear, act hysterical, panic.

Lastly, after a sexual assault your body is officially a crime scene and reporting the assault or even the attempted assault to your local police department is one of the most important tasks you must do if confronted by a maniac because you could essentially be preventing another sexual assault on another woman and possibly saving a life in the process. If you think keeping your assault to yourself is an easier way to cope with being violated nothing is further from the truth. Just like victims of any other other abuse, pain from being violated in such a manner could cause you to 'act out' in other areas of your life. The rapist must be caught to prevent other women from being assaulted.


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