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TSA Full-Body Scanners: Let Freedom Ring (as Long as You Show Your Ding-a-ling!)

Updated on October 22, 2011

“We are your neighbors, friends, and relatives.”

The above is TSA’s opening statement if you click on the link “Who We Are” on its website. Apparently, this makes it okay if they see you naked or if they have to give you a “pat-down” for security purposes. Doesn’t it?

If you aren’t convinced, on TSA’s homepage you will see this statement: Most OK with TSA full-body scanners.

Do you believe it yet?

Why did they leave out the word naked?

In case you still aren’t sure, simply turn to any news station covering the naked-body scanners. You might notice that the majority of news channels air images of full-body scans without a fuzzy in the middle in an attempt to force an American populace that it is okay if people see you in your birthday suit, even if you happen to be not so well endowed. Come on, I know you’ve seen that one. In sharp contrast, I’ve also had the opportunity/pleasure to see the other one. Impressive! Clearly, I am one example of why the naked-body scanners are not okay.

I believe that everyone realizes that anybody could be part of an Al-Qaeda plot. This includes pregnant women, grandmothers and grandfathers. It is also widely known that young children are recruited by Al-Qaeda by the enticing thought of becoming a Jihad hero. Consequently, TSA has stated that children 12 years old and under receive “modified” pat-downs, and apparently this is okay.

Perhaps Americans would have drawn the line if TSA had not added the word “modified”. But, I’m not so sure. To me, the idea of a 13-year-old child being groped and rubbed (or anyone of any age) is not something I am willing to accept as reasonable or acceptable in America, Land of the Free. However, it seems that a large portion of our population disagrees with me. Who knows? Maybe in a few more years our tolerance of molestations and sexual violations will expand, and there won’t be the need for the modified pat-downs for children, toddlers, and infants.


Young Boy Stripped and Searched by TSA

Wanna-be Terrorists

Despite the fact that the last several attempts from Al-Qaeda seem to be from Jihadists who flunked out of the high-tech training camps because they couldn’t swing across the entire monkey-bar apparatus, many people are quick to say that if it’s all in the name of safety and national security, being molested and having their children molested is quite all right with them. I mean, you do pay attention to the charred underwear that is repeatedly shown on the television screen, don’t you? A package of explosive powder versus just your normal, everyday package is easily distinguishable via pat-down, right?

Some people explain that if we had these sorts of mechanisms in place prior to 9/11, there wouldn’t have been a 9/11. Forget about Condoleeza Rice’s testimony at the 9/11 hearings where she admitted that there were memos issued that warned of the plot and that the sitting president ignored the warnings. That couldn’t be the reason why 9/11 happened. No way.

Naked-Body Scans Should Be Everywhere

I suggest taking airport security one step further by asking everyone who is in support of the naked-body scanners and the pat-down procedures this question: what we are doing to prevent domestic terrorism?

Domestic terrorists could be anywhere and pose just as big a threat as Al-Qaeda, if not greater. Domestic terrorists don’t normally attack at an airport. Domestic terrorists sit next to you at church, shop alongside of you at the grocery store, and sit in traffic with you on the freeway during rush-hour. This should be a very frightening thought to the people who support naked-body scanners and molestations.

Let’s go further.

Naked-body scanners could also be instituted in banks and grocery stores as a deterrent to would-be bank robbers.

As a cost-saving measure, employers might find that naked-body scanners would be beneficial in order to deter sticky-note theft and other items that are highly sought after by employees. Naked-body scanners, much like purchasing a new, energy-efficient air conditioner, would pay for itself in the long run.

Instituting naked-body scanners all over America for just reasons could be, perhaps, one of the largest job creators America has seen in decades. Forget about green jobs. Sales and telemarketing jobs would skyrocket, and the commission would be quite impressive. Pat-down personnel would also be needed for those who feel that the naked-body scanners are too invasive—another opportunity for more jobs.

I realize that most of you might believe that I have taken this idea way too far. I don’t really think so.

Give them an inch and they will take a mile.


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    • Deni Edwards profile image

      Deni Edwards 7 years ago from california

      I completely agree and wonder how "modified" cavity searches will be performed.

    • Jillian Barclay profile image

      Jillian Barclay 7 years ago from California, USA


      Maybe we should become a clothing-optional country!

      That probably wouldn't work either, though, because then we will need to incorporate cavity searches. It is absolutely ridiculous! We have become such a frightened country and such a frightened people! I certainly want to be safe if I am flying or even walking on the streets, but how far is this going to go? Privacy vs. safety? Apparently privacy is going to lose. As soon as a terrorist decides to put something explosive into one of those body cavities and he or she is discovered, then of course the TSA is going to have to take the "pat-downs" to the "feel-up or feel into" level!

      At least as a female, I will know that I can get a pap smear done at my local airport. For men, they will be able to have prostate exams, even colonoscopies! That will certainly improve access to health care!