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That Experience

Updated on January 27, 2017


Death was on an old bathroom floor that hasn't been renovated since the 1960s fighting off the rigor mortis. Dr. Ariel Rivera didn't know how it got there, but she was determined to find out. She pushed back her hair and touched the surface of the body with her gloved finger tips.


There was an orange light that circled the room like a buzzard over its prey. Ariel noticed it when she walked into the bathroom, but ignored it because of the body of a 63 year old woman. She had a toothbrush shoved in her neck and bruises beneath her eyes. The woman's face had the gleam of a highly Windex glass. Very shiny and squeaky clean.


The orange light reached Ariel just enough to cast her shadow on the bathroom fixtures. Each time a detective walked by it interrupted the shadow that was cast.
“Time of death?” asked a detective as he stood next to Ariel Rivera.
“A couple of days,” she answered. “She was punched several times in the face and then someone shoved that toothbrush into her neck causing her to bleed out.”
“Was she killed here?” asked the detective.
“Yes,” she answered as she pointed to the blood that accumulated under the toilet and the baseboard heater against the lower part of the wall.
After the detectives surveyed the room they came to a conclusion that the old woman wasn't robbed. Her valuables were still intact.

"What do you make of this situation?” The detective asked.
“I don't know,” Ariel replied stepping back from the body and removing her gloves. “Someone just didn't like her.”
The detective grimaced.
“Maybe the person who did this was so attracted to death, he killed her just to find out how it feels.”
“Do you think he enjoyed it?” he asked.


Ariel looked around the bathroom and then at the woman on the floor. “He didn't hate it.”


Dr. Ariel Rivera walked out of the bathroom and slowly paced herself until she was outside. She started walking through the yard. The rain had stopped, and the cool breeze took control. The moon came out of hiding from behind the clouds. She looked down and saw footprints leading into the neighbor's yard.


“Detective,” she called.
He came out and stood beside her.
“Footprints,” she pointed. “The rain left it for you to follow. They are not fresh, and I would say if you follow it, you'll find a witness or the killer at the end of it.”
He swallowed hard.

© 2017 Frank Atanacio

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    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 5 months ago from Shelton

      Missy and manatita.. thanks for supporting my writing too... bless you both

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 5 months ago from Shelton

      Pegcole and shyron... thanks for your years of support.. hope to see you guys soon... if not stay blessed..:)

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 5 months ago from Shelton

      thank you MsDora and TSMOG, and Flourish Anyway for visiting my experience bless you guys

    • manatita44 profile image

      manatita44 5 months ago from london

      Nice one. I'll go to part too, then comment. Seems unfinished all right, but still ended quite well.

    • Missy Smith profile image

      Missy Smith 6 months ago from Florida

      I'm glad to see you back, Frank. :) another intriguing story as all of your pieces are. I always find a line or two in your story somewhere that fascinates me more than the others, or as in this one, that I relate to, because I have often wondered myself.

      “Maybe the person who did this was so attracted to death, he killed her just to find out how it feels.”

      “Do you think he enjoyed it?” he asked.

      If you have watched a lot of crime shows, or have watched documentaries on serial killers, this type of question will eventually pop into your head, I think. The question has pondered my mind. Moreover, it gives you an eerie feeling of putting yourself in a scene of doing something like this and how that would feel. That's weird I know. I would never kill anyone, but as I pondered this question before while watching a documentary on serial killers, I have tried to imagine.

      Eeeek...I think I'm going too dark here. lol... I think the fact that I am listening to Chopin's Nocturne No. 9 as I read is giving this one an even more eerie appeal. There is something about listening to classical music while reading a murder scene. (shivers)

      I'm looking forward to examining the next crime scene. ;)

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 6 months ago from Texas

      Frank, so glad that you are ok, got to find out who killed that poor woman.

      Happy to see you.

      Blessings my Friend

    • PegCole17 profile image

      Peg Cole 6 months ago from Dallas, Texas

      This intriguing story is a reminder that murder comes in many different forms, sometimes without reason or with an unexpected weapon. I hope you write a follow up to let us know what the detectives find out. Your imagery tells the tale.

      You have indeed been missed, Frank.

    • tsmog profile image

      Tim Mitchell 6 months ago from Escondido, CA

      Welcome back from your sabbatical. I hope all is going well with you Frank! The story captured and held me. But, I am salivating with curiosity now. I'll keep my eye for forthcoming works of intriguing fiction.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 6 months ago from USA

      Yikes! A toothbrush in the neck! That's a good one, Frank. Your words are so descriptive, exacting. We've missed you so much and are very glad you are back in action. Been wondering, "Where in the world is Frank Atanacio?"

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 6 months ago from The Caribbean

      Not just a cliche, Frank. I missed you and hoped you had not disappeared for good. Great comeback leaving us to follow footprints after rain. Is Kimber still around?

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 6 months ago from Shelton

      Eric and Cyndi10 thank you much for stopping by and sharing my experience

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 6 months ago from Shelton

      thank you Genna East for stopping by

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 6 months ago from Shelton

      Thanks Jodah for stopping by and sharing your comment :) And always good to see you

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 6 months ago from Shelton

      thank you so much Always exploring and Dana Tate and bodylevive for stopping by and reading my experience..:)

    • bodylevive profile image

      BODYLEVIVE 6 months ago from Alabama, USA

      Wow, gripping and frightening, all on one page! Thank you, I enjoyed holding on to my seat, lol.

    • Cyndi10 profile image

      Cynthia B Turner 6 months ago from Georgia

      Hi Frank, So happy to see you're back at it!

      Gruesome, but good. Your MO is still intact. Take care.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 6 months ago from Shelton

      thank you so much savvy for checking out my experience )

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 6 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Frank you killed it here (not to be mistaken that the reports lately of your death were greatly exaggerated) But so quickly you grasped the nature of the forensic. The mind does not stop but transports itself to the past and evidence of it. From experience a crappy place to be.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 6 months ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Frank! What a pleasure it is to see you return with another intriguing, enthralling flash-fiction short. I hope all is well with you and yours. :-)

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 6 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Great to have you back Frank. Have missed your stories and inspiration. I wonder what the old woman did to piss her neighbor off so badly that he killed her.

    • Dana Tate profile image

      Dana Tate 6 months ago from LOS ANGELES

      I would love to know the ending of this cliff-hanger. It's good to see another piece from you, it's been way too long.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Fuller 6 months ago from Southern Illinois

      Frank, we were thinking about getting a search party to see what happened to our favorite detective writer. I hope this is just the introduction to this story. I wanna know where the footprints lead to and who they belong to. You made the old woman visual with your detailed writing...Well done!

    • savvydating profile image

      savvydating 6 months ago

      Another frightening thriller, Frank. I don't know much about criminals, but I have heard that killing brings them pleasure. You brought that to light quite well.

      Wonderful to have you back. I wondered from time to time---Where the heck is our Frank!

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 6 months ago from Shelton

      thank you annart and mckbirdbks for checking out this piece

    • mckbirdbks profile image

      mckbirdbks 6 months ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

      Welcome back. This is another story of intrigue that you do so well.

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 6 months ago from SW England

      Intriguing - do we get a sequel? I would like to know who did this. Well-written and gripping, as always, Frank.

      Ann

    • Frank Atanacio profile image
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      Frank Atanacio 6 months ago from Shelton

      thanks billybuc... had some free time.. missed you buddy

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 6 months ago from Olympia, WA

      Here we were, all worried about you, wondering what happened to Frank, and a new story pops up. Good to see you writing again, my friend. Don't be stranger for so long.