10 Best Places to Sleep When You Need a Nap
The family that sleeps together . . .
In order to help you, the hard-working salesmen, saleswomen, factory worker, any worker, to feel better, look good and always be fresh for any task, I am going to give you a secret list that I discovered on one of my research projects that will stun you out of your underwear. I am not kidding.
This list I call, "10 Best Places to Sleep When You Need a Nap," if used correctly, will serve you for many years. It can be passed down to your children and grandchildren, for every living thing on God's green earth needs rest and sleep.
THE AIRPORT WAITING AREA (see photo at top) is probably the nearest to a perfect place to sleep (besides a hammock in the summer) that you will ever find. And with today's "I don't want to get involved" society, you can practically sleep here for hours without being accosted by airline employees. So if you are having trouble sleeping in your bed at home, drop on down to your local airline and stack a few ZZZZ's.
Other neat places to sleep
NUMBER 9 the best places for me to sleep soundly, and this is ugly of me to say, but when one of my friends wants to tell me a long, boring story. Yes, sir. This is the perfect time to shut the old eyelids and catch-up on my "sawing logs." But I have yet to perfect my "Secret Sleeping Method" that requires me to keep my eyes open.
NUMBER 8 to get some really quiet-time plus good sleep, visit a church whose minister never gets out of his monotone voice. This is better than any Sominex you could ever buy. There is just something about a quiet church sanctuary and a long-winded preacher who never raises his voice. But I will caution you to not fall-over on someone who "is" listening to the sermon. Or snore so loudly that an usher has to nudge you to wake-up. Getting good sleep sometimes requires you to be on guard.
NUMBER 7 in the back seat of your neighbor's car as you and your wife and your neighbor and his wife are going to visit Niagara Falls. The thing that pus you to sleep is that you live in Dallas, Texas. This is one long, boring trip. But your wife loves to talk and your neighbor buddy's wife loves to talk, so that only leaves "Peter," your neighbor who has to stay awake to drive and you have it made--going mile after mile snoozing the time away. What a great time you will have.
NUMBER 6 on a riverboat cruise with the wife or girlfriend. Yes, this is a highly-rated place to "sleep like a baby." You know that cruises all have huge buffets of every delicious food you can imagine. So after a few platefuls of grub, you settle-back at your table and lean behind the wife so you won't be spotted by cruise line employees who might make the mistake of thinking you have been drinking too much and throw you out, and sleep until your heart is content.
NUMBER 5 I hate to bring this one up, but the truth is the truth. The classroom, mainly in high school or college. In grade school we are all awake and excited about new things to learn and do, but in high school or college, it's different. You are older and carrying a heavier class load so you tend to get sleepy faster. So duck your head down behind a textbook and take a refreshing, soothing nap. Do not worry. If the professor or teacher Iin high school) busts you, all you will get is some mild-humiliation by the teacher and some hero-worship from the kids who haven't the nerve to do such a thing.
NUMBER 4 on a customer's bench in the grocery store. What do you think these benches are for anyway, to sit and speak to other shoppers? Maybe for some, but not you. You work your butt off at least 33 hours a week, mow your lawn twice a month and you deserve some extra winks. So give your sweet wife your cash, she already has a grocery list, and just sleep "like a log," until she gets finished shopping. People who pass by who know you will say, "There's Dick. He works so hard for his family." Or the store manager will think you have passed away for you haven't moved in six hours, and runs over and wakes you up. This irritates you because you were just about to kiss Katie Kouric on the lips and the manger, "Mr. Do Gooder," ruined it for you. This is the last time you sleep at his store.
NUMBER 3 on a boring date. I know. I have first-hand experience in this one. If you have a job where you are required to use manual labor, DO NOT go out on a blind date at mid-week. You are already exhausted from your job, and do not feel-up to romancing this girl who is younger than you, so the old body will sneak up on you and shut down. Suddenly you hear a female voice say, "Are you just bored?" Do not answer like I did, "Yes." Or it will gnaw at you for years. It did me.
NUMBER 2 in the hospital lobby or in the room of a friend who is in the hospital as a patient. This is ugly of me to say it, but if you are in the lobby to stay all-night in case your friend the patient needs you, then why not sleep? Your friend is asleep from the great pain shots the nurses give him, so you shouldn't be deprived of your sleep, so go on. Do the logical thing. Sleep. You will feel more like taking care of your friend the patient, or if you are required to stay in your friend the patient's room. Look. The patient is asleep. You can be asleep as well. There is absolutely no sense in you staying awake and feeling lousy the next day.
NUMBER 1 in a theater with the wife for your "Movie Date Night." Ahhh, how romantic. You and wife, married for over 22 years, still romantic. But on this particular "Movie Date Night," the boss has "ran you ragged," and you are now 44 years of age--not the hot-blooded, tip, top testosterone-fueled young married man you used to be, so as your wife watches this foreign romantic film that lasts over three hours and it is not in English, you fight it as long as you can, but suddenly it is all over. You fall dead-asleep and your snoring annoys the other movie-goers so much that they leave. Then your angry wife leaves. The theater manager wakes you up at 2 a.m. with the theater empty. You feel foolish. You know that when you get home your are going to get the butt-chewing of a lifetime and all you can do is stand there and take it. Good for you for not fighting back. All in all, butt-chewing notwithstanding . . .you got a great nap out of the deal.
Write this all-over?
Oh, I see. You were fast-asleep as I wrote this. Nope. I won't do it.
You can try to get a nap and get caught for all I care.