The 10 Hidden-Dangers of The Innocent Backyard Barbecue
HEY, BARBECUE ENTHUSIASTS, THERE IS STILL TIME
Well, lovers of summer, fall has arrived and I have mixed-emotions. Although part of me is sad because our old friend, summer is slowly fading-away, the beautiful colors and crisp-mornings of fall are taking their place. But do not panic, lovers of the summer season. There are still a few more hot days left of summer 2014. And plenty of time to have a traditional American event entitled: The backyard barbecue. Now I ask you. What could fit any better?
Ahhh, smell that taste-tempting aroma of those delicious steaks, franks, and other tasty goodies cooking on the grill. No wonder the backyard barbecue is so popular with most Americans. And for the vegan’s, you can also grill corn, cauliflower, and other veggie treats to make them happy too. One big, well-fed, happy family—sitting around chowing-down on grilled food, drinking cold beer, and just enjoying this perfect day.
Perfect? Did I really say perfect? I admit it. I did exaggerate some to enchance that last paragraph. So what on this planet could ruin such a wonderful, peaceful event that is being enjoyed by everyone in attendance? Now I ask you, “Barring the apocalypse, what in creation could possibly go wrong?
Oh, my naïve friend. How could you have been so trusting, believing that having a normal, non-threatening occurrence as a backyard barbecue could be a near-fantasy in fun, peace and a great time just teeming with smiles, laughs and plenty of food to go around? I wish that I could have met you at the store where you forked-out hundreds on this expensive charcoal grill, the table, chairs, and huge umbrellas to keep out the sun, and told you straight-up, unless you exercise a lot of careful-preparation, you and your family and friends could be the victims of—
The 10 Hidden-Dangers of The Innocent Backyard Barbecue
Other dangers and backyard barbecue images
- Weather Watch – no one is absolutely-perfect when it comes to weather. So be on-guard for those sudden, pop-up, dangerous thunderstorms. I am serious. Have an emergency plan in place in case you encounter high winds, hard rains, and dangerous lightning. Be prepared to lead and make wise decisions by not guzzling a “Lion’s share,” of beer that everyone knows can easily dim the sharpest of anyone’s judgement.
- Pet Care – is really an important facet of the backyard barbecue. I bet you never knew this. Let’s say for example you are grilling “to beat the band,” and suddenly, your good pal, “Tom,” a neighborhood joker, tells you a risqué joke that diverts your attention just for a moment. Then “Shagg,” your Bassett hound, out of loyalty to you, sees you bend over in laughter and thinks you are hurting and leaps in your direction, but misses and hits the grill dead-center. Can you imagine the pain “Shagg,” feels? And can you imagine how much the veterinarian’s bill will be?
- Backyard Bar – is not what you are having. You are giving your family and friends a backyard barbecue, so watch out how much your guests are drinking and do this with compassion and discretion. No one likes a “stick in the mud,” but tell the boozer who curses you by yelling, “I, I, uhh, can, uhh, han---dddd—le eeet!” That you need his car keys that you care too much for him to see him hurt or killed in an auto accident.
Things You Can Do For The Alcohol-Abuser to Save His or Her Life:
- Convince the drunk person to lie down in your guest room and “sleep it off.”
- Have the person who has overdone the alcohol to munch-out on protein-laced foods
- Talk to the drinker thus keeping him or her from walking out in front of traffic
- Offer to call their wife, husband or children to come get them—but do not phone the cops unless they get belligerent and start using violence to save their pride.
- Old Flames – can cause havoc with the married guy who is hosting the barbecue. Especially if the married man doesn’t know that his “old flame” is attending the barbecue with his best friend, “Jack.” You see. “Jack” does not know that “Muffy,” your “old flame,” was your girlfriend before you married your wife. So you best watch your step. Be civil and hospitable, but do not allow yourself to get into compromising places where “Muffy,” can corner you and cause an embarrassing scene.
- Female Spats – can be dangerous to any and everyone at a backyard barbecue. These spats can start from a simple things such as one girl fumes with jealousy at another hot girl’s wardrobe, so instruct your wife to tell all of the girl guests to all dress modestly to keep down “cat fights,” and from luring the married guys into lustful-gazes that can lead to dangerous fist-fights.
- Landscape Safety – is the most over-looked area of a nice barbecue. If one of your guests, drunk or sober, happens to trip on an unseen vine in your grass, this might cause you to be named in a nasty lawsuit and thus, a good friendship is ruined. Inspect your yard before the get-together. Remember, “safety first.”
- Grill Bombs – are very common to the backyard “barbecuemeister.” Pouring too much charcoal starter over the charcoal is the number one cause of “Grill bombs,” which are equally-dangerous as the hot girl guests wearing skimpy outfits. Take time to read your starter fluid as well as instructions on the bag of charcoal and follow the instructions carefully. You can help save the life and limbs of a close friend.
- Meat Allergies – are another unnoticed area of danger to the backyard barbecue host. Make sure BEFORE the barbecue who among your guests is allergic to ribeye steak, T-bone steak, hamburgers and even franks. But if they are allergic, do not worry. Simply substitute a food that they can enjoy with your carnivorous friends.
- Daredevils Do Not Attend – should be your motto at your next barbecue. Just imagine how dangerous it is to mix alcohol and a loud-mouth, braggart, know-it-all who “says” he is not afraid of anything or anyone. He might jump off of the roof of your house and miss your pool and bam! Another costly-lawsuit. Or he could start a fight with a decent, passive man by flirting with his wife in front of him. And the list is endless. So make absolutely-sure that there are no people of this nature attending your barbecue.
- The Insecure, Middle-Aged, Overly-Athletic – types can be as dangerous as the Daredevils. This man was very successful as a sports hero in high school, college and a couple of years in the NFL before he was cut from his professional football team for not being punctual to team meetings, and for the fact that he just couldn’t “get the hang,” of the complex playbook and high-pressure atmosphere. After his dismissal from the NFL, he drifted in and out of jobs that were all sports-related. From being a bartender at a sports bar to working at Foot Locker. He has worked them all. Now age is eating-away at his multi-injured body and his reflexes are not as keen as when he was a young man. So when “Jimbo Steele,” drinks a few Whiskey Straight’s, suddenly his flashbacks to his glory days kicks in and he is now angry and challenging the mature men at your event to a game of tackle football or even worse, using your BMW as a “tackling dummy,” to prove to his wife that “he is still the king” of hard-hits.
Sorry to run, but I smell something burning on the grill.
There is actually no need
for me to write an information piece for the above video. Just be careful when dealing with your grill, starter fluid and propane gas.
If you think that burning charcoal left unattended
cannot be dangerous. Well just watch the above video that depicts a group of men who take drinking to another dangerous level and walk-away leaving their grill and smoldering charcoal unattended. I urge you to please, put out your charcoal when your barbecue is over. No, I am not kin to Smokey, The Bear, but I condone his message: "Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires," and in this case, a huge fire.