The British Lose Their Stabbing Privileges

The British have been very bad boys and girls, which is why nice nanny state has been forced to make sure that they take care of themselves better in the future. Whilst Americans across the pond argue over whether or not you should be able to keep an assault rifle in the closet and sell gun clips so you can keep your shotgun strapped to the side of the bed at all times, the British have lost their right to buy cutlery when they're under the age of 18. That's right. If you want to buy a steak knife and you look like you might be a young person, you're going to have to produce ID to prove that you're old enough not to hold your soup spoon like a pen.

Of course, the Brits aren't new to losing privileges and freedom of choice, they're already the most monitored society in the world, with over 4.2 million cameras in the country, according to the BBC, who also states blandly that that equates to about one camera for every 14 people. Clearly not enough.

4.2 Million CCTV Cameras Letting 13 Out Of Every 14 People Get Away With Things

The same article also outlines plans for the future of Britain, which include shoppers being scanned as they enter stores and cards which allow parents to monitor what their children eat at school. Personally I find that downright irresponsible. If you're not prepared to duct tape your child to your bosom until he or she is 18 and ready to begin duct taping their own offspring to their bodies, then you're an awful parent and should probably take advantage of the friendly government mandatory sterilization scheme, which doesn't exist yet, but makes a lot of sense.

The British don't seem to understand that they need to behave themselves much better if they want to have their privileges back. Already the government has had to enact harsher rules about where and how people drink alcohol, because a lot of people were drinking far too much for the state's liking. The national institution of 'Happy Hours' may be banned entirely if people keep actually drinking during those times.

The crazy does not start, nor end there however. The state has also noticed that teenage boys are acting like teenage boys, and in 2007, policies were introduced to make schools encourage boys to play netball, take drama class and dance lessons so that they become more 'gender balanced.' As anyone who reads my articles will know, I thoroughly support gender freedom, but in no way should you ever attempt to balance the gender of another human being, and certainly not a whole generation of them.

Boys Will Be Boys, Playing Netball

It's been remarked upon over and over again that the British government seems to be taking Orwell's 1984 as some kind of blueprint rather than a horrible warning. But when, oh when will the people of the land rebel? And when they do decide to rebel, how are they going to do it without access even to blunt cutlery?