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The British Lose Their Stabbing Privileges

Updated on August 27, 2009

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image via reddit.
image via reddit.

The British have been very bad boys and girls, which is why nice nanny state has been forced to make sure that they take care of themselves better in the future. Whilst Americans across the pond argue over whether or not you should be able to keep an assault rifle in the closet and sell gun clips so you can keep your shotgun strapped to the side of the bed at all times, the British have lost their right to buy cutlery when they're under the age of 18. That's right. If you want to buy a steak knife and you look like you might be a young person, you're going to have to produce ID to prove that you're old enough not to hold your soup spoon like a pen.

Of course, the Brits aren't new to losing privileges and freedom of choice, they're already the most monitored society in the world, with over 4.2 million cameras in the country, according to the BBC, who also states blandly that that equates to about one camera for every 14 people. Clearly not enough.

4.2 Million CCTV Cameras Letting 13 Out Of Every 14 People Get Away With Things

The same article also outlines plans for the future of Britain, which include shoppers being scanned as they enter stores and cards which allow parents to monitor what their children eat at school. Personally I find that downright irresponsible. If you're not prepared to duct tape your child to your bosom until he or she is 18 and ready to begin duct taping their own offspring to their bodies, then you're an awful parent and should probably take advantage of the friendly government mandatory sterilization scheme, which doesn't exist yet, but makes a lot of sense.

The British don't seem to understand that they need to behave themselves much better if they want to have their privileges back. Already the government has had to enact harsher rules about where and how people drink alcohol, because a lot of people were drinking far too much for the state's liking. The national institution of 'Happy Hours' may be banned entirely if people keep actually drinking during those times.

The crazy does not start, nor end there however. The state has also noticed that teenage boys are acting like teenage boys, and in 2007, policies were introduced to make schools encourage boys to play netball, take drama class and dance lessons so that they become more 'gender balanced.' As anyone who reads my articles will know, I thoroughly support gender freedom, but in no way should you ever attempt to balance the gender of another human being, and certainly not a whole generation of them.

Boys Will Be Boys, Playing Netball

It's been remarked upon over and over again that the British government seems to be taking Orwell's 1984 as some kind of blueprint rather than a horrible warning. But when, oh when will the people of the land rebel? And when they do decide to rebel, how are they going to do it without access even to blunt cutlery?


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    • Hope Alexander profile image

      Hope Alexander 8 years ago

      Hey Sweetie Pie, check this article out...

      Only one crime solved per 1,000 CCTV cameras.

      First line of the article: "The internal police report found the million-plus cameras in London rarely help catch criminals. "

      And this is coming from the people who actually run the cameras!

    • Rochelle Frank profile image

      Rochelle Frank 8 years ago from California Gold Country

      Oh my! That does seem a bit too "nanny".

      Strangely enough, we do have some laws here in California-- maybe they are in a lot of states-- that prohibit cans of spray paint from being sold to underage personages. (The fear is graffiti and 'tagging" by gangs.)

      These kinds of paints, and even lot of markers, need to be locked up in stores where you must wait approval to buy them.

      Yes, it is probably at least as easy to buy many firearms without a blink.

    • SweetiePie profile image

      SweetiePie 8 years ago from Southern California, USA

      Yes I realize these are butter knives and the law is problematic. I guess what I really do not agree with in your hub though it the assertion that the Brits are losing their freedoms because they have surveillance cams in cities. I think there is a dire need to install these everywhere, which would be a great way to track down people that are kidnappers, murders, and rapists. I could care less about a perceived fear of losing my rights in that area because if you are a law abiding citizen people see you on the street every day. I guess what I am trying to say is I despair for people who actually believe that surveillance cams are depriving individuals of their freedom, when in all actuality these are good tools for tracking down criminals. These are even used to some extent in the US, and most private businesses have surveillance, and so do government buildings. No one is telling anyone what religion to be or what clothes to wear, so this perceived loss of individual freedoms is a fallacy in my mind. As for the cuttlery law in Britain, who cares. In the US we have problematic laws too, such as the drinking age. Just because the law says you have to be twenty-one does not mean people under this age cannot get access to liquor. Actually the drinking age in the US used to be eighteen until the federal age was raised to twenty-one.

    • Hope Alexander profile image

      Hope Alexander 8 years ago

      I've lived in the UK and US, Europe and New Zealand. I haven't 'noticed' much difference in freedoms on the ground in these countries, (aside from airport security not acting like a pack of lunatics in Europe and NZ, but being entirely insane in the UK and US,) but that doesn't mean differences weren't there. That's how it works. They change things behind the scenes until one day you wake up and the world is hugely different and you don't know how it happened.

      Oh, and by the way, every generation thinks they were saner and better behaved than the younger generation. Even Aristotle whined about how the younger generation were so much worse than in his day.

    • one2get2no profile image

      Philip Cooper 8 years ago from Olney

      Being a Brit myself I think you are a little harsh on us. Having lived and worked in both New York and the UK I did not find much difference in the freedoms offered by the 'State' in either country. I frankly believe that children nowadays have far too much freedom and far less discipline than they should. A good spanking and keeping to the rules never troubled my generation. We in fact turned out much saner than the current crop of youngsters.

    • dohn121 profile image

      dohn121 8 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

      If you want people to break a law, you make one. No, Hope (gee that's a dark statement if ever I heard one) Orwell's message has certainly fallen by the way-side. I hear that they (gov't) are still trying to pass the law allowing robotic insects with video cameras as a tool of espionage throughout the world! Can you imagine? Take heed and wake up people...Let's all ban books and learn Newspeak while we're at it.

    • Tom Cornett profile image

      Tom Cornett 8 years ago from Ohio

      "You'll poke your eye out kid! " :)

    • Hope Alexander profile image

      Hope Alexander 8 years ago

      SweetiePie, they're butter knives. And sometimes kids leave home and go to college at 17. You then have someone in their first year of university who cannot legally buy their own cutlery. If that makes sense to you, then I despair. As you say, if they want a knife, they can take an actual sharp one from anyone's home. Someone who wants to do real harm can do it without having to buy a cutlery set from IKEA.

    • SweetiePie profile image

      SweetiePie 8 years ago from Southern California, USA

      This does not seem like a bad law to me. Those camera monitors have helped to catch murderers and that is not a bad thing. If you are not doing anything bad, why worry who is watching. As for knives, anyone under eighteen does not need to buy one. Of course that does not stop them from grabbing a knife out of their mom's silver ware door, but oh well. Their health care works better than here in America.