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The Prime Minister - Wannabes

Updated on January 8, 2014

Yes Prime Minister.

With everybody proclaiming that they have what it takes to be Prime Minister of this vast country,it is time to find out what exactly it is that makes so many worthies aspire for this post.

When to run even a small corporation with a medium turnover, a hundred interviews have to be attended, Qualifications certified, previous experience justified and over all a lot of other HR related queries answered, does one get the job.

But to be PM of the country, our politicians do not bat an eyelid before staking claim.Whether they have the required aptitude, qualifications and experience does not matter..

So without further ado, let us get into the candidates and their agenda.Some self proclaimed and some dreaming about the job

(This is a spoof and if it has any resemblance to any person, it is intentional)

Mamata didi

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Selvi Jayalalitha

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Kum Mayavati

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The Contenders

Mamata Banerjee : She is the strong woman of Bengal. She dethroned the Communists and came to rule West Bengal.

If she were to become PM, then all of India would be her play ground. Anything going wrong anywhere in the country be it Law and Order, Hospital deaths, Natural calamities and everything else would be the handiwork of the communists. According to her the fountainhead of evil are the Communists. all problems facing the nation are due to them.

So she can solve all the problems this country has, Grab a few Communists, there, problem solved.

DigVijaya Singh: The spokesperson of the Congress. One foot always in the mouth, he cannot be a better contender.He has a view on everything which is just that his view. He cannot see beyond his nose on most issues and creates a gaffe all the time.His pet topic,Narendra Modi. Modi could with all the publicity he unwittingly gets via this man.

Going by his record, he can wangle his way through any situation and confuse his opposite number as to his intentions as his facts are so garbled. Any sane person will have a hard time sifting reality from falsehood.

Manish Tewari: The I & B minister is so fond of the English language, that he can give an Englishman a Complex. His adherence to the English dictionary and his penchant for using the Word of the day in all his utterances through out the day, is fascinating to say the least

He would make the ideal PM candidate with his long winding, high sounding, nasal discourses, that can make even a seasoned leader uneasy. The simple reason being the words would have just flown over their heads. Not everybody carries a dictionary in his/her pocket.

Mulayam Singh Yadav: The strongman of Uttar Pradesh, nurses a longtime ambition of being PM. Each elections he starts off on the idea of a Third Front, with himself as a leader. But each time all the partners start quarreling among themselves that the whole Front falls even before fully forming. He is not the only one nursing ambitions in that association, every other leader is. It is a potpourri of divergent elements put together.

With his limited knowledge of English or rather his hatred for the language, he hopes to pull off a coup and emerge the PM. Even his Hindi is barely understandable as he gobbles up half the words while talking. Very convenient as he can always say he was misquoted. In spite of various permutations and combinations this man comes up with, he remains where he is.

Kum. Jayalalitha: Another contender who has put her hat in the ring is this lady from the south. She asks her party the AIADMK to endorse her candidature for PM.Her logic, she commands over 25 seats in Tamil Nadu .

Her government gives away TVs, Laptops, Mixer Grinders, Fans, rice and other household provisions mostly free or at ridiculously low prices.

Under her it will be Utopia. Everything you need will be delivered to you. No need to work. No need to seek employment. Everything is FREE.

Mayavati: This former CM of Uttar Pradesh, The caste concoction specialist, is yet another contender from India's most populous state.

During her tenure as Chief Minister, she had statues of elephants( her party symbol) and herself, erected all over the state. If she were to rule the country, we would have elephants all over the country off course as statues and millions of more statues of her dotting the landscape.

Nitish Kumar: Even though he does not say it in so many words, he does dream about the Throne. He has been quite a success as Chief Minister of Bihar,but of late his utterances, his actions all belie his ambitions.

His wooing of certain people and his new penchant for approving anything that the Congress says and does just shows where he is heading. He hopes to piggyback on the Congress and try his luck.

S M Krishna:The former Foreign Minister, now in semi retirement may also want to play his cards.His memory is excellent, his administration talent even more so.

Mr. Krishna addressing the nation," Oh my people of Portugal, it gives me................Poor man, forgets he is the leader of which country.


Rahul Gandhi

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Who Should be Prime Minister.

Who should lead this country

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Narendra Modi

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The Top Contenders

Narendra Modi, Rahul Gandhi and Arvind Kejriwal ( New Entry), not in any particular order.As of a month ago there were only two, now there are three ( if you do not consider the others)What a pity.

Rahul Gandhi: The Gandhi scion, is his major and only qualification.He has been touted as India's big hope, the Master Blaster( sorry Sachin) who will blast everyone and everything out of his path in creating a New India. An India free of all the evils his party created down the period they ruled India.

He is like the Jack in the Box. He suddenly pops up, tears down an ordinance and vanishes.Once the Delhi results were out, we again had an overdose of him. Now silence. When important issues crop up, the man is not to be seen or heard. Then Viola, he makes a grand appearance, visits some Villages, puts on a somber expression and duly obliges TV crews with his pearls of wisdom.

Many a time leaving the spokespersons of his party defending the undefendable. The speeches he makes, the conclusions he arrives at is totally irrelevant made with the only intention of making it. No thought is given by his speech writers to reality and existing ground situation. Shoot and scoot, let the minions look after clearing the debris.

Narendra Modi: The BJP's candidate to the highest office.He has been elected Chief Minister of Gujarat,thrice over. His biggest millstone, the riots that shook the state. Even though various investigative agencies,courts and special investigative agencies could not find any proof of his involvement, all his detractors slam him for the riots. In fact the one point agenda for his opponents is 2002 riots.

His knowledge of history is doubtful, re. the gaffes during election rallies.His speeches spew venom at the ruling family and he has made it a habit to run down the ruling family on every occasion.What he can bring to the table is still debatable.

Arvind Kejriwal: The new kid on the block. Recently became the chief minister of Delhi. A lot of expectations ride on him.

He is already having his share of hiccups, what with him having to turn down a palatial house after a hue and cry was raised by everybody, his colleague created an uproar by demanding a referendum and so on. Still one need not stop dreaming.

In Summation

Ultimately who becomes the Prime Minister will be known only after the elections sometime in April/May, till then the parties will try to put up all sorts of combinations to grab power. Power to rule over a billion people for the next five years.

Ready Reckoner

 
 
 
Right
Do not know Where
Left
BJP
All Others
Communists
 
 
 

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