The Hangman’s Noose Cannot Be Anything but a, Well, You Know
I want to get one thing perfectly-straight. This hub is NOT being published to endorse, promote, or uplift the current hatred and static caused by certain jerks who have little or no sense than to leave a noose in someone’s yard and then leave. I do not take sides in this or any controversy, for I have enough work in keeping my own life straight and uncluttered. For the most part, THIS piece is dedicated ONLY for the comical-at-heart, to give a few laughs in a strong sense of hatred that is prevalent in our nation. Laugh. It sure beats crying for someone planning on vengeance for people who are not even here. Deal? Thanks, Kenneth
This is an Idiot With a Rope
The Sad, Sickening History of
the hangman's knot or hangman's noose is a knot most often associated with its use in hanging a person. For a hanging, the knot of the rope is usually placed under or just behind the left ear, although the most effective position is just ahead of the ear, beneath the angle of the left lower jaw. The pull on the knot at the end of the drop levers the jaw and head violently up and to the right, which combines with the jerk of the rope becoming taut to wrench the upper neck vertebrae apart. This produces very rapid death,
And I think with that information, enough information is enough.
Hey, forgive me. I am serious. I do not respond well when I see terms like “death,” “hanging,” and “punishment.” Now I do see the severity of folks in (that) section of the U.S.A. having to deal with a (mostly) lawless population who were trying to settle their areas of life, but some went to stealing from banks, homes, and the railroads that did exist.
What was worse, was not the crime, but the hanging which served as a just punishment. And you can form your own opinion of this view, and I am not going to discuss the recent Capital Punishment that has been in the news for years among U.S.A. citizens. Seriously.
But in All Honesty I Think
that the hangman’s noose, if it had been given a different job, might have qualified as these positions:
1.) Jump Rope instantly leaps to mind, but with that awful noose at one end would make it difficult for the jumping-motion to be awkward and shaky. But it is certainly better than an execution.
2.) Ghost Costume can work if cloth can work itself around the noose area and the disguise can be used as a ghost, a farmer, or a hobo. And hardly at no problem.
3.) Ring Rock-Pitching is a new game that could take the world in a few weeks. Simplicity is the answer. Lay the noose on the ground. Pass-out a certain number of good, smooth rocks, and players take turns to see how many rocks that a team can place (by throwing) into the noose. Easy, and fun.
4.) Halloween Disguise Gig is easy to prepare. Take noose and sew white cloth around the noose area then use a black marker and draw the eyes, nose, and mouth inside the cloth area. Children will be so entertained by this new Halloween face.
5.) Cattle Trap is really not a trap, but is when a few players (with equal number of people) will run and pretend as if they are riding a horse and by taking turns, take the noose and see how many people can lasso a tree stump while they are running. The ones who lasso the stump wins. How easy can a game be?
6.) Rural Homemade River Raft is a genius-of-a-homemade raft that can get one from one side of the river to another one. Players can put their feet (or foot) into the noose and run swiftly and hope that the momentum takes them across this river. The players who get across without falling wins.
7.) New Lasso Routine is when a fast-thinking man or woman dresses in an Old West disguise and then enter a big town and pass-out flyers telling that “Lightning Larry, Lasso King” will be appearing on so and so nights and charge a small admission price. “Lasso Larry” does a few dance steps, tells a few western-based jokes and then whips-out the lariat with the noose and yells, “I am known as ‘Lasso Lariat, podnuh’s, and I’um, heah to bring the Old West tuh life!” The man or woman who does this will pull down a few thousand bucks.
8.) WARNING: in the light of honesty, I advise that none of you single men who need a gift to win that special lady . . .do NOT give a Noose to her or she will slam the door, say ugly words to you and demand that you never see or call her again. Even if the noose has been wrapped neatly by you. This is THE worst gift idea that anyone can give.
9.) WARNING No. 2 I advise you pranksters out there to NEVER place the noose over your head and down the top of the neck and you and a buddy stroll into a busy restaurant and keep a straight face while the waitress (who is very angry at this sight) that you want sweet tea, a western omelet, and a slice of apple pie. You will be lucky if dinner is not placed in your lap.
And that is all. See you in a few days.
September 6, 2019____________________________________________________
This is Only a Rope
© 2019 Kenneth Avery