ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

(Some) of The Many Amazing Things A Person Can Do in Their Bathroom

Updated on April 2, 2016
Inside and outhouse. What a play on words.
Inside and outhouse. What a play on words. | Source

I am ashamed of myself

One of the most under-appreciated rooms in our homes today is the bathroom. You might as well agree, for you know that I am telling the truth. This revelation hit me a few days ago and I actually felt depressed and blue due to my own lack of appreciation for the bathroom in my home.

Being taken for granted and never told a single "thank you," is a very cold and sad place to be. You might think I have lost my senses. Maybe so, but if I am telling you a lie, may Charmin bath tissue employees go on an expected "wildcat strike." This should tell you how serious I am about my topic.

Blue and white floral  pattern lavatory at  Saltram, Devon.
Blue and white floral pattern lavatory at Saltram, Devon. | Source

What were you expecting

An "ooie, gooie," cushy, cute, sugar-coated soliloquy about a Colonial Style kitchen that is so popular in New England? Well I am sorry. This is not happening today. I am highly-enraged and upset at myself and all of us for not only taking our bathrooms for granted, but thinking that we can only do "three" things in this valued room of rooms. Do I have to name the "three things?" Okay. One. Taking a bath.

I suppose that you have already guessed the name of this hub. If so, a huge pat on the back to you. Now I present . . .

The Many Amazing Things A Person Can Do in Their Bathroom

Typical bathroom.
Typical bathroom. | Source
Designer bathroom.
Designer bathroom. | Source
This bathroom would be "Heaven" for  "Neat Freaks."
This bathroom would be "Heaven" for "Neat Freaks." | Source
Airliner restroom.
Airliner restroom. | Source
Baby gets bath from mommy in, you guessed it, their bathroom.
Baby gets bath from mommy in, you guessed it, their bathroom. | Source
Cleaning outhouse. Not a pleasant task. circa 1950
Cleaning outhouse. Not a pleasant task. circa 1950 | Source
Stereotypical scene from a men's restroom.
Stereotypical scene from a men's restroom. | Source
This is a vintage outhouse. Let's pause for a moment of respect.
This is a vintage outhouse. Let's pause for a moment of respect. | Source

Now. Don't you feel differently toward your bathroom?

See results

  • Smoke tobacco -- (but if you are of a wedded station, your spouse may give you static for this one). Note: I do not condone using tobacco smokeless or otherwise.
  • Smoke fresh meat -- sure if you crack the window(s) and convince your spouse that this practice is normal for your new lifestyle of that of a survivalist.
  • Drink alcohol -- but please be tidy with your boozing. No wife or husband wants to find empty beer cans and whiskey bottles in the commode.
  • Talk to a friend -- and not worry about being disturbed. The bathroom is probably the last remaining place on earth that we can find peace and solitude in a world going nuts.
  • Talk to "someone new" -- only if you are brave enough to "face the music," if your spouse, girl or boyfriend catches you. Or wealthy enough to survive if your legal wife or husband catches you in the act of "kissing" that someone new by making kissy sounds over the phone.
  • Talk to your pet -- be it a cat, dog, or lynx. Even a pet snake. It's up to you, but I do not think that if your beloved pet is a rhino or baby elephant your best pal, "Ralph," smuggled into this country from Columbia, you are going to face a huge disappointment.
  • Catch-up on your reading -- yes, you can read whatever book, story, or newspaper you please and either "doing your business," or just relaxing in the peaceful atmosphere of your loyal bathroom.
  • Do physical exercise -- you bet you can do push-up's, sit-up's, and even Tai Chi if you are so a mind to. Calisthenics? Why not? The bathroom's ego will surely inflate by your choosing "it" to be your gym at home.
  • Make out with your lover -- but not necessarily in the bathtub or shower. What you do and where you do it, is your business.
  • Do needed writing -- what a great location to write a hub for HubPages. All you need is a laptop, a marvelous idea and the patience to get it done. Oh, if you choose to use your bathroom for writing, and you have only one bathroom, you best practice yelling, "Just a minute! Can't a man/woman get any peace?"
  • Make pretty pottery -- I bet that you did not know about this one. Just get a down-sized pottery wheel, some soft clay, and a full-size cut-out of Patrick Swayze and you are in business. (This is for my female followers).
  • Practice your singing -- and no one should annoy you.
  • Learn a foreign language -- oh, have I really hit on something here. A bathroom is the perfect place to be alone while you learn Italian, Spanish, or even English, if you haven't mastered it yet. "Si, senor." It's working already.
  • Scare your friends or family -- simply dress in a gorilla suit, stand behind the door of your bathroom and watch the fun when your wife/husband or friends "have to go." Go ahead. Say it. Grrrrrr! See? You are a natural for being a gorilla.
  • Go nude -- why not go nude in the bathroom? It's your bathroom, not ours?
  • Paint your face -- like an American Indian, Eastern Indian or a South Vietnamese house boy. The list is endless to the roles you can paint yourself into in your bathroom.
  • Train a pet -- teach your cat, dog, or iguana named "Joe," how to fetch, roll-over, and even sit-up. Again. It's your bathroom.
  • Do impressions of people -- famous or just everyday people. You might discover that practicing your impressions in a secluded place like the bathroom will allow your craft to be much better than practicing in the kitchen. SECRET REVELATION: the easiest and best way to do a convincing impression of Vince McMahon, head of the WWE, is to stick your head deep into the commode and then start yakking in a deep voice. But you didn't read it here.
  • Jog in place -- the bathroom is better than a noisy treadmill.

Like I stated, the list is endless as to what you can do in your bathroom.

Oh, you can "use" the bathroom if you have a need to.

No wonder our bathrooms resent us. This is how some rude hooligans treat their bathrooms.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)