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The Most Destructive Organism Ever Designed?

Updated on August 17, 2016

Which organism, you ask?

You may be surprised (but, really, you shouldn't be)
You may be surprised (but, really, you shouldn't be)

Ebola? Aids? Cancer? Terrorism?

No, dear constant reader, I really wish it were as easy as that.

No, this amazing, planetary ecosystem that has been home to Billions upon Billions of different animals, plants, insects, ameobas, bacterium, etc. is under threat from the most vile, threateningly destructive organism, one that gets sexually aroused with violence and violently aroused with sex.

This extraordinarily designed mistake of nature is, not may nor could, but is going to kill this wondrous little blue planet, third from our Sun. It's a real shame, too, because us humans will be here when this planetary desecration will occur.

How will Earth die?

Well, there are quite a few scenarios that many scientists agree are plausible, including the atmosphere dwindling away, the oceans heating up too high, rainforests disappearing, a critical loss of mass - which could alter the Earth's trajectory through space, being smashed to bits by a massive meteor/comet, our Sun going supernova (exploding or imploding - but basically going bye-bye).

Is this a problem that humanity could stop? Slow down? Cure?

Yes. Sure. Totally plausible. How, though, is the real problem.


What a wonderful world this could be...

If only we had done it right the first time.
If only we had done it right the first time.

Who you gonna call?

So, who's going to be responsible for killing our darling little home, and is there a way that humanity could stop it?

Assuming that all of the people on the planet came together (no, not that way! Get 'yer mind out of the gutter, please!) and did the responsible and required actions, then yes, we could actually save the Earth!

How, you ask?

Well, I'm real glad you asked me that, dear constant reader! It's actually rather simple.

In order to save the Earth, humanity has to succeed at obtaining the following results;

1) To bring it's population down to about five to six million people, as opposed to the 7.5 BILLION or so that now call Earth home. Along with deforestation, we're bringing the temperature of the oceans up higher, and we're depleting the ice that provides many functions that help to keep the Earth a life-enabling planet. We're polluting the waters that sustain us with chemicals, atomic bombs, nuclear plant run-off and "hot" water that have created "dead zones", areas where no life can exist. NO LIFE. Not even at the microbial level. And these aren't small areas, they're bigger than New York State, or many small countries. And, that's not even us at our worst!

2) To stop using the compression engine. Yup, no more vehicles that run on fossil fuels. You see, aside from the nasty fumes resulting from gas/deisel engines (think airplanes and motorized boats, cars, trucks, motorcycles and all the rest), the sources of where we get the oil and gas were once filled with a thick, heavy goo-like substance (oil) are now just empty "caves", some bigger than Maine! Oh - wait, I'm not done yet - we have to stop using robots, computers, etc. in our manufacturing sectors. With that done, all of a sudden unemployment is at 0 (zero, zilch, zip, nadda).

3) To end mass fishing, and the killing off of any species. Period. Japan, are you listening?

4) To find a way to make an airship that could carry a few hundred thousand people, and travel at speeds capable of getting people to other habitable planets within a decade.

5) To stop laughing at me! No, seriously, there's no way our planet will be life-sustaining in 200 years' time if we don't do what really needs to be done.

6) To end war. Yes, Putin, I'm looking at you. And your little monkey, Kim Jong Un. BTW fellas, you're not Gods (especially you, oh comically stupid dear leader!).

Now, I don't know about you, but I give us about a 0.00000238 percent chance of success. Give or take a millionth of a percentage point, ninety-nine times out of a hundred.If we killed off maybe 100 certain world leaders (again, looking at you, Putin and Un - or, in French, Un Putin - ask for one when visiting Montreal! You'll die of gastrointestinal problems in no time, and get us closer to that population destination! And, in case you don't get the inference, it's really "poutine", which is french fries covered in cheese curds and a thick gravy.

And that 5th dentist? He's the only one that wasn't paid off by the medicine peddlers...

You see, humanity will never stop killing each other. It's ingrained into our inner-most basic instincts: someone doesn't pray to your God? Well, kill 'em all! Someone doesn't like your sexual preference or the way you dress?Yup, it's time to die - off with your head!

To paraphrase one of those classic little ditties from the sixties: Yippie, we're all gonna die!

It's just whether or not enough of us are going to die quickly enough, and whether or not those left behind do things right this time. If not, there's really only one thing that humanity could do to save this planet...

A total and complete anihilation of the human species.

Yup, that's about where we've put ourselves. And we did it within the PAST 150 YEARS!

Depending upon which scientists you believe, or which religion, humanity has been on this planet anywhere from 7,000 years (the Christians. Yup, has to be the Christians for that one!) to over half a Billion years.

And we've killed her in less than 200 years!

Yeah us!

They say "Video killed the radio star"? Well, humanity killed their only home. Who wins the "SKing of Stupid Award"?

Again, Yeah us!

Well, at least we won at something! It's just really too bad that that "thing" is being the most destructive organism ever created!

Move over ebola, "the plague", the SDpanish flu, ISIS and Christian expanionism (i.e. the Crusades, Indian schools, altar boys, etc. etc. etc...?)...

Humanity has far eclipsed even meteorites as the most harmful thing to the planet Earth!

Would you? Could you?

Which of the following would you agree to? (you have no choice but to select one!)

See results

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