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The Pantied Man and the Bigot | A Modern Tale of Freedom

Updated on October 13, 2009

First things first. I address this to men who wear women's clothing and do so in public. When people call you a 'freak', or react negatively to the fact that you fall outside the accepted standard deviations from the social norm, realize that it is not you who they are angry at. It is themselves. Your 'strangeness' reflects their own insecurities and fears about not fitting in back at them. They react to those feelings, not to you. They don't know you. You barely register as a human on their radar of self centered ignorance. They are lost and alone, blinded by blinkers of fear and they are threatened by your flamboyant display, the courage which you possess but they will never have.

You see, what men who wear women's clothing and walk the road less taken might sometimes forget, or perhaps never understand is that it's a hard road being a bigot. You have to constantly reaffirm the limitations handed down to you. You have to constantly battle against the tides of change which threaten to overrun your little sandcastle of 'values'. You have to hide away your soft spots, your doubts, your fears. You have to present an exterior to the world that is strong and unyielding. You must call what you believe 'right' and what everyone else believes 'wrong.' You must clearly define boundaries and you must live within them, even when you fantasize in your heart of hearts about leaving those boundaries behind and bounding into a new world, a world where anything is possible. You must fear the unknown and cling to whatever you have made your philosophical crutch. Change is not exciting, it is dangerous, it threatens your very psychological survival.

To see those who are apparently unaffected by the very powerful forces that ensure most of us own a pair of jeans and drink coke is to experience the kind of feeling a cave man might experience seeing a modern day man driving a car. The freedom is unimaginable, and the freedom is terrifying. It evokes all those uncomfortable feelings of being different that have been locked away for so long behind thick barriers of acceptable virtue.

The truth of the matter is, very few of us ever really feel entirely comfortable in our own skins, especially not in our youth. The wisdom of the elderly comes all too late, "nobody is looking at what you're doing, all they care about is themselves." People who react in strongly negative ways to the idea or the reality of men wearing women's clothing are people who are not sure of themselves. Of course, they think they are, because they have covered the existential crisis which befalls every sentient human with blind faith in religious doctrine, with political rhetoric and with so called values which do not reflect love, nor kindness nor anything of value at all.

Though you may be in the minority, men who wear women's clothing, you are expressing a message of true value to the world each time you step outside your doors. Ignore those who do not support you, they are shadows of a world you have left behind. Surround yourself with those who love you and those who are of like mind.

(Please note, it is not necessary for a man to wear women's clothing to do great things or to be a good person, but if a man or woman wants to consider themselves a good person, it isĀ  necessary for them to be able to see past the clothing a person is wearing.)


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      Mikk 8 years ago

      Another excellent piece, as well as the comments. I agree wholeheartedly and believe this closely relates to another article about this type of CD vs that type of CD(can't find the link anymore). I agree with you Iwhcpanties, those who are flamboyant about their dressing do place unnecessary hardships on those of us who wear things simply because we should be able to exercise our own personal fashion freedom(and other reasons). As my retort to those in the closed-minded bigotry category, when you start buying my clothes, maybe then we'll see about giving you a say in what i chose to wear.

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      mickim50 8 years ago

      thank you for your true observation ms.Alexander,what you said just makes sense,and I think that is what scares the general public.As for me,I now paint my toenails and wear flip-flops or go bare foot in the summer,I'm 56 years old and could care less of what people thought,I've just decided it's time for me to be me because it "just makes sense'

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      iwhcpanties 8 years ago

      Hey MS Hope, it is good to hear you get to the point, as you always do, and I commend you for your efforts in the men vs. lingerie issue. As a guy, I do not go public about what I wear other than in formats as this. Maybe I am a hypocrite too, I don’t know. I do not blast anyone for their dress code, nor do I expose what mine is and I keep it a secret. If I go out in public no one can tell what I have on under my jeans etc and I prefer it that way. I think that too many times those of us who may dress in this manner may do so overbearingly or do the in your face thing and it makes it harder for ones as myself to feel comfortable and those on the flip side to except it. I would think we need to keep things in perspective of who we are, where we are, and what we are doing, location and function. Dress accordingly and within a reasonable style. I know I have personally seen some who go to the extreme to flaunt their lingerie etc and then complain that they are not excepted and there again I have seen those who would bash a guy just because he has on a pinkish colored dress shirt. I believe we all have a right to our opinion, and wear what we also desire to wear. But an opinion should not cause hurtful or negative feelings, and those who chose to dress differently should also do in moderation for the occasion. Thanks again for all you do, and making excellent statements with great insight on our behalf.

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      phil 8 years ago

      Unfortunately mankind in general is insecure. They express thay insecurity by demeaning others. Our social conscience has not come to the point where we truly we allow others (non-harmful) to be their own person. Most of us MUST demean others,just to feel WE are ok. It is a sad comment,when we speak of individual rights to expression,religion and most anything else,yet fail to act on those ideals. And sadly,most are unaware that different does not have to be threatening. And that bigotry,hatred,etc are encouraged by the system to keep the masses controled. An old adage proves true "those that fight among themselves will NEVER have the power to fight the system. Keep them at eachothers throats over meaningless things and they will never noticed what you are doing TO them.