The Right Path To Mentality - Extrapolate Thinking
I don't know if it is just me, the people around me and my extended family, but there is a definite 'introversion of thought' when it comes to interacting with others. what I mean by that is instead of people being open and honest with each other I see them holding back the word to how they truly feel about the person in front of them... and I don't like it!
I believe we are a product of the society we live in, so what is it in society that would cause people to hold judgment and form ideas which may or may not be correct, rather than being honest about how they feel towards other people's view in life.
For example, let us say I have been dating this girl for a month, through the course of dating we each form ideas about the other person from small queues we observe in behavior. Thought bubble: "oh he didn't pick up the two chips he dropped, that's a sure sign he's gonna be lazy. Oh my god I can't be the only one in the relationship, picking things after our baby in 5 years time".
That thought was of course an over simplification but in matter of few weeks a relationship can run its entire course and either the man or the lady getting dumped in a text message without a heartfelt, honest reason to why. If the dumping is a result of many thoughts in the dumper's mind (as to what might happen and how I won't be able to handle it) then even if they tried, they will not be able to articulate a good reason for carrying out the act of dumping.
Let us superimpose this 'extrapolate thinking' to two siblings grew up together with knowledge of each other's character traits. The older knowing the younger to be greedy all her life just because that is how things were between from childhood, the younger wearing cloths that got handed down, playing with toys that were there before they were born, etc.
The two siblings have now grown up, the older had a baby recently and the younger grew up to be a successful well rounded and balanced individual. The relationship between the two is great and so it appears, however the older sibling subconsciously decided to withdraw their baby from the younger sibling (again, this wasn't a conscious decision)
They didn't the younger sibling to influence or have any influence on the baby, they want the baby to grow happy and not oppressed! so why should they pull the baby away from the uncle/aunty (you will notice I have kept all characters un-sexed). Pulling them away from the beautiful influence of someone that is close to you, that can teach the baby what this parent might have missed out while coming from the same set of beliefs and values (which of course matters a lot to parent, you want your baby to take after you).
As you might have guessed the parent has embedded deep in their psyche the belief that the younger sibling will show hostile personal traits to the baby as the parent experienced in their early life. If they had brought this though to the forefront of your mind and processed it, it would almost be like saying "Oh my younger sibling will take the candy away from my baby". The answer to this thought would be to ignore it because it doesn't merit an answer.
I am writing this article to raise awareness of prejudice we hold that we are not prepared to discuss with the person we are dealing with, because we don't want to give the chance to defend them selves because we want to hate them for it, or because we know it is a non issue and we know it is silly but we don't want to let go of it.
In the case of the 'dating couple' it might be because they feel certain the future will only bring trouble if I stay with this person and that is because the have an idea of what and how their match should look and feel like and this person just doesn't fit the bill. i.e. they're not in love, but what is love? is it trust? I will leave the question of love for now and may write about it in future.
I'm not here to preach... or ask how we can stop prejudicing, but would be good to know what induces this behavior. Is it a product of society or human nature? I don't know. Is society and human nature synonymous? I don't know.
All I know is that I don't like it, it is a barrier to us getting to know the true soles of the humans around us, to appreciate people, and ultimately go through life lonely in spirit like an island, an island can't reach out to another island next to it, but I would like the force of good within us to build bridges between these islands of soles, to enrich ourselves through better interpersonal relationships. For me the best source of inspiration is other people but I can't tap into it if I or they remain closed, ....closed in thought.
So you might ask, "Why do you Mr Boss Man keep referring to society or human nature, what have they got to do with any of this extrapolate thinking as you called it."
To answer this question I direct you to my second article titled 'Expectations of Society'.