20 Crazy Facts About Sarah Palin

An obnoxious bigot, known only as Sarah Palin or `Bible Spice', has haunted America for some time now. Over the years, this failed Republican VP-candidate has filled our ears with verbal excrement, and our eyes with tears of laughter. Her many disastrous attempts to construct coherent sentences, together with her vacuous political views, are as confusing as they are crazy. Presumably, Sarah Palin was thrust into the limelight because the extreme right-wing policies she represents are seen as more acceptable when espoused by women who look like librarians. While her nameless backers have found an efficient way to propagate their brand of extremism, their method ultimately serves to degrade the image of women in politics.

The following collection of facts and videos about Sarah Palin reveal the extent of her Christian fundamentalist views, her xenophobic foreign policy, the corruption scandals that have seen her in trouble with the law, and the many stupid moments that have plagued her political career.

1. In her own words, Sarah Palin “grew up in the Wasilla Assembly of God”. This is a Christian religious sect in the Alaskan town of Wasilla. It was within this setting that she was “saved” and inducted into the ritual habits of the congregation, including `the laying on of hands’ and `speaking in tongues’.

2. Palin was visited by a Bishop who asked Jesus Christ to “protect her from every form of witchcraft” (see video below). She also received a blessing shortly before her 2008 Vice Presidential campaign in which the bishop conducting the ceremony said “Bring finances her way for the campaign in the name of Jesus. Use her to turn this nation the other way around” before praising the Lord for “using the wonderful Governor Palin to get your message of the gospel across”. Palin kept her head bowed during the blessing, arms upturned to God, accepting the cheers of the congregation.

3. Palin epitomizes the fundamentalist Christian views of her congregation. For example, she wants creationism taught in schools, and sex-education replaced by lectures on abstinence. She also supports capital punishment, is against legalizing drugs such as marijuana, and is against any sort of ban on semi-automatic assault weapons.

4. Palin is also steadfastly against abortion and doesn't care if the woman seeking the abortion is a victim of rape or incest.

5. She is against gay-marriage, although she has promised to convert gay couples to heterosexuality through the power of prayer.

6. Sarah Palin’s foreign policy appears to be as religiously driven as the rest of her revealing life. She once described the Iraq war as a "task from God" (see video below).

7. Palin also supported all of George Bush’s policies on Iraq and advocates the use of preemptive military action against apparent threats. For example, she said Obama would be re-elected (in 2012) if he declared war on Iran. She has also said we should invade Pakistan to take out terrorists, and that Russia’s attack on Georgia was unprovoked despite the Russians having a peace-keeping force in South Ossetia since the early nineties. The Georgians were the initial aggressors, and were attempting to exert control over South Ossetia through the use of force.

8. Palin was once a member of the Alaskan Independence Party (AIP), an organisation that lobbies for Alaska's secession from the United States. Before Palin joined the Republicans, the AIP Vice President told members they should infiltrate mainstream parties, saying: “Whichever party in that area (in which) you can get something done, get into that party”. Whether her motives were for power or infiltration, the Republican party is staunchly against allowing Alaska to leave the USA.

9. While running for governor of Alaska in 2006, Palin popularly endorsed the construction of the Gravina Island Bridge, remarking that “the bridge is essential for the town’s prosperity”. When congress withdrew funding for the project, Palin abruptly withdrew her support for the idea, saying “I said no to that bridge to nowhere”. Her withdrawal of support for the bridge gained her important political allies. John McCain, who selected her as his VP running mate in 2008, had consistently labelled the bridge as “wasteful spending”.

10. Her U-turn on the Gravina Island Bridge didn't stop her from pocketing the $223 million of funds that had already been driven into the project to use on other state ventures.

11. Sarah Palin's 1996 campaign to become mayor of Wasilla focused on what you’d expect: guns, abortion, religion, and a smear campaign claiming her opponent `infrequently attended church'.

12. After becoming mayor, she purged the town of opponents, ordering the resignation of six council department heads, the museum director, the city planner, and the public works director. Palin also fired the Chief of Police who went on to sue for wrongful dismissal but lost his case.

13. She also fired the town librarian, Mary Emmons, for not giving her "full support". It's alleged that Palin wanted to ban some books. She had indeed quizzed Emmons on multiple occasions about how she'd react if books were censored from the Wasilla library. Presumably, Palin didn't get the answer she wanted and fired the librarian. However, enough people rebelled in anger to have the decision rescinded.

14. Sarah Palin’s abuse of power came to wider public attention in 2008 when it was found that she'd sacked a safety commissioner for refusing to sack her sister’s ex-husband. In this instance, she was found guilty of breaching Statute 39.52.110 of the Alaskan Ethics Act. However, no criminal investigation was launched, meaning there was no platform for punishment.

15. Palin once described President Obama’s healthcare reform package as something that would introduce death panels to decide who should live or die. This was found to be inaccurate, and was subsequently named “Lie of the Year 2009”.

16. One of Palin's most stupid moments came in a 2008 interview with Katie Couric. In the space of a single minute, Palin incoherently bounced from health care to job creation, taxes, reining in spending, and finally trade. She sounded like a five year old, unable to construct a proper sentence, and bouncing from policy to policy as if regurgitating all the rehearsed answers she could like a malfunctioning puppet (see video).

17. Further evidence that Sarah Palin has no ideas of her own, and survives in politics as a mouthpiece for people who tell her what to say and how to say it, arose when she was questioned about the newspapers she reads. She couldn't provide the name of a single newspaper or magazine. It's pretty dumb to not read any publications, but an inability to name any publication to lie about reading takes a special kind of stupid.

18. At this stage, you wouldn't be surprised to hear that Sarah Palin was once a beauty queen, winning the Miss Wasilla contest. She also finished 3rd in Miss Alaska. Presumably, that's where she learned how to speak publicly.

19. Palin also has five children, named Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper Indy, and… Trig Paxson Van. Yes, you heard it right: Trig Paxson Van. That poor kid is going to hate her. Names aside, one has to wonder if her religious views coincide with a belief that contraception is wrong. The fact that she already has two grandchildren supports the theory.

20. In 2010, Palin appeared as the keynote speaker at the Tea Party convention. Despite their opposition to spending, her fee was reported to be the highly wasteful amount of $100,000. However, in a break from the Tea Party's libertarian ideology, this couldn't be confirmed because they were not “contractually obligated to speak about it”. What a shame!

Sarah Palin holds extreme right-wing political and social views that coincide with her religious upbringing. However, the power she has accrued in American politics contrasts sharply with her inability to demonstrate any degree of intelligence or political aptitude. One is forced to speculate on the source of her success. As is so often the case with female politicians who espouse extreme views, she appears to be supported by nameless backers who understand that women can make their views appear more forgivable, moderate, and acceptable. As a result, Palin supports a religiously entrenched right-wing political agenda without being able to delineate any of its finer details. Indeed, the scandals, ethical abuses, and U-turns that have plagued her political career are characteristic of a person who has limited personal and ethical principles.