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The Stay At Home Mom's and Dad's Myth

Updated on April 13, 2012

The Hilary Rosen and Ann Romney Debate

The myth being that it is not a job. Nothing could be anything further from the truth, whether you are a man or woman. The trouble with most societies is that it is not viewed as a job because no income is generated, so you are not the "bread winner". This "job" is viewed more as an obligation because you have created the child and now must have the "job" of raising them.

The funny thing, if you have ever been a stay at home parent for any length of time, you know it is a job. Like all jobs, there are ups and downs about it, there is redundancy, there is the expectation. But, that does not mean it is less important than the one who does earn an income. The funny thing is that, the parent that does work wishes they could stay at home hang with the kids and the one that does stay home, eventually does want to feel more vital in their life and join the workforce or volunteer. The parent who works continually thinks they are missing something at home or with their kids, whether it is social interactions, just being home safe or being needed. The parent who stays home is relieved at times to be able to go to work, to interact with other adults.

Hilary Rosen put her foot in her mouth by saying Ann Romney "never worked a day in her life" because she stayed home raising the five kids. Well, we all know that is not true and according to a recent study, a stay at home parent is worth $112,000. Hmmm, that would put them up there with nurses, doctors, engineers, lawyers. Hard to believe.

The stay at home parent requires a variety of skills that employers want, yet they are not taken seriously by them because "staying at home" is not a job. Of course, every employer knows this is not really true,yet, they minimize it because it is "home". It is a parent's obligation, so it cannot be a job for you are not paid.

It is true, however, that by the kids are in Jr. High at the latest, if not sooner, the "job" tends to be WAY easier than it had when they were ages 1-8. So, because of this, the stay at home parent does feel not needed and soon, they will be looking for a way back into the "real job" market. When they do, the stigma is hard to overcome for they lack skills, experience and maybe education. Sadly, the skills of a parent are not valued in the working world, Oh, everyone is willing to state that a stay at home parent is a job and it is as hard as any real job, yet, in the job interview, the employer is thinking totally the opposite.


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    • FGual profile image


      6 years ago from USA

      I am very proud of my stay-at-home mom. She has gone through a lot in her 91 years, and still cooks a delicious dinner for me whenever I visit. Maybe we need more of them.

    • UnnamedHarald profile image

      David Hunt 

      6 years ago from Cedar Rapids, Iowa

      It certainly was a stupid turn of phrase. The focus is now on "women raising children are somehow of less value", which is absurd. The context was "she has no business experience, so how does that qualify her to advise her husband on such matters?". That's my take on it anyway.

    • perrya profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      I agree.

    • Abecedarian profile image


      6 years ago from These United States, Texas

      Can't win for losing in this issue. Hilary Clinton was bashed for not staying at home and baking cookies, Michelle Obama was bashed for being a working mom and now Romney's wife is being bashed for being a stay at home mom.

      A stay at home parent:




      Lawn maintanance



      Laundry service



      Just to name a few job titles, payment $000,000.00. No 401K retirement, no payment into social security, the only and greatest reward/payment: Loving their children and watching them grow into caring and responsible adults. Payment enough? Most would say yes.

      It's easy to be a critic when once hasn't walked in someone elses shoes.

    • perrya profile imageAUTHOR


      6 years ago

      Yes, spouses are important in elections, for sure.

    • greatparenting profile image


      6 years ago from philadelphia, pa and corolla, nc

      I totally agree except with one addition. From what I read, my take on it was that Rosen was referring to Romney's lack of working for a boss, outside the home because she needed the paycheck. I think she meant that it's hard for Ann Romney to relate to the struggles of everyday folks who actually need their paycheck and don't even have the choice of the work at home job. Either way, Rosen isn't a candidate and it really doesn't matter what she says or how she sees the world. What matters to me, as a voter, are the positions the candidates espouse, not their mouthpieces.


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