Make Your Dreams A Reality
Call Me Old Fashioned
I'm not going to say that I want a fairy tale wedding with lavish nonsensical junk. I do however want to walk down the path of forever with the man that loves me more than anything. A man that would do anything and everything to make me happy. But what if something as simple as loving someone is hard for me to do or even understand?
For the first part of my adolescents I was part of a dysfunctional home life. My parents were always arguing at each other and yelling at the top of their lungs like they hated each other. I could never understand growing up why 2 people would stay together for so long, especially when neither of them knew how to communicate. Not to mention the physical abuse that was happening, and the mentally unstable mindset of my mother. I had parents that drank all the time and did drugs to keep themselves from spiraling into the vortex of hate they had both created for each other. Of course that's what happens when people that have never been loved themselves try to imitate the action.
Realizing What's Wrong
As the years went on I began to notice something that scared me into staying single throughout almost all of my school years. My parents were definitely not in love with each other. They only wanted to use one another to get what they wanted, which was apparently a life of misery as far as I could tell. Thankfully God granted my sister and I a new life and we were both removed from the home. We were going to get the chance to move on and be in a better situation.
I ended up moving and started a whole new life with a women I knew from my childhood. She was my neighbor for a long time and acted as my caretaker when I was otherwise being ignored. But my family moved and for a long time I lost contact with her. After years of not knowing where she was or if she was even alive she was introduced back into my life. At first it was difficult for everyone, especially my sister who was too young to understand what was going on at the time. But eventually we started making friends and things got better.
Class A Student
High school was where I really thrived. I was on the school newspaper and managed to get onto the A/B Honor Roll. I sang in choir and my fellow classmates and I got to compete against different schools. I even played Jack in The Bean Stock in a play known as Into The Woods. My friends were always telling me about how great their boyfriends were and how much they were in love. I thought they were all stupid and couldn't understand what the big deal was. There were guys that asked me out but I just didn't see the point. Besides, how could I feel love with another person when my perception over it was so completely jaded?
Hopes & Dreams
One of my dreams in life is to get married to a guy that loves me and supports everything I do and am. Someone who cares enough for me to support my dreams and wants me to strive to be a better person. Someone who can tolerate my uptight attitude and also help me when I am too stressed out to focus. A man who will be there for me like I will be there for him through anything and everything. Which may seem ridiculous to someone who doesn't know the whole story.
Now that I am older and have been familiarized with what healthy relationships are really like I know I don't have to be scared anymore. Love isn't something that should ever hurt anyone who falls into it. It means being appreciated for all of the big things you do for each other and even more so for the little things. It means he will be there for you when you are at your worst to calm you down and make sure that everything is okay. It's a feeling that cradles you in warmth and makes you want to shout it to the world. "I'm in love!" There isn't another feeling in the world like it and I'm glad I'm in it with someone who really cares for me.
Believe In Yourself
Everyone I tell about my dream of getting married responds the same way. They say it's a waste of time or that I shouldn't do it. But you can't let anyone in this life bring you down. If you have a dream then you can't let anyone tell you it's stupid or pointless. You have to rise above what other people think because it's only a matter of opinion, and the one that matters the most should be the one that will make you the happiest.
And just in case this wasn't inspirational enough for you maybe Prince Ea will be able to change your mind about you dreams.